Graduate School

Heath graduated last December, with his MBA. As soon as he had finished, we started really talking about me going back to school and getting my graduate degree. The plan was to wait until he was done, before I started. It was the best decision financially. Plus, I don't know if you noticed, but I was busy havin' babies...

If I'm being completely honest, I was a little scared to apply to graduate school. I had K-State picked out since I was 22 and hadn't applied. It was terrifying. What if I got rejected? I didn't think that my ego could bare a blow like that. Terrifying.

After making a zillion excuses, Heath and I talked myself into it.

I'm sure Heath hated me for those months prior. I was a mess. I would basically have a conversation with myself.

"Should I wait until the girls are older?
No. That is silly. There is no time like the present.
I mean, if I would have started two and a half years ago, I'd already be done!
It will be tough with the girls. But, Heath, you did it. I can do it too.
What if I fail? What if I struggle being a mom and a student?
Although, it is important to show the girls that school is a priority too."

This was the inner dialog escaping from my brain and blurting out my mouth.

Needless to say, after a $50 application fee, I was obligated to at least submit a Statement of Objectives, etc.

After several versions and editing sessions, it was ready to mail.

I hadn't told anyone but Heath that I was applying....well, and my references I guess. I was so terrified that I wouldn't get in. Then, I would have to tell everyone. I felt like I might be letting everyone down. I was told that the program was very small and only a small number got in.


Before I knew it, I saw the response from the Department of Psychology...my heart raced. Heath had told me over and over again that I was a "sure-thing." I let out a big breath and opened it...


The first line read, "I am pleased to inform you..."

That was all I needed. I don't think I have ever even read the letter in its entirety.

I was excited, proud, and still a bit scared of what I was committing to.The program is a Masters of Science in Industrial and Organizational Psychology (MIOP). If you aren't familiar, it is like Business and Psychology got together and had a baby. It is applying the scientific method to business processes, like training, evaluation, job analysis, selection, recruiting, etc.

The program is predominately online; however, it did require that I have a two-week residency on the campus. I remember thinking that the two-week residency was the downside of the program. I was wrong.

I kissed my babies, shed a few tears, and headed out. Heath came with me for the Orientation.

I was nervous. Could I really do this again? Did I remember anything from statistics or research methods?

Regardless, it was official. It was time to put my big girl panties on and do my best.


We mingled with many people the first night, reviewing the keepsakes in the alumni center. The sense of pride that the employees and students have for that school? Wow. It was hard not to get wrapped up in it all. Before I knew it, I was feeling very proud as well. I drank the purple Kool-Aid.

First, Manhattan, Kansas is a pretty neat place. It is like a really big small town. I went for a run on campus in the first week and loved everything about it. Second, the people are friendly and the instructors love what they do.

They only selected 12 for my class. They were from all over the United States - California, Washington, Colorado, Iowa, Oklahoma, and of course Kansas.

Anyway, the questions I get all the time are 1) How was it away from the girls, and 2) Was it as hard as you expected?

Yes. It was hard without the girls. I spoke to Lucy on the phone one night and cried when she uttered those little sleepy words, "Goo-bye, Momma." It was pretty hard. But, the majority of the time I didn't have much down time. I was in class all day, doing homework, doing work, networking, or sleeping. Alone time was unheard of, except for that one run I took on campus (the first night). The most "free-time" I had was spent with classmates. As you can imagine, group work is important. So, I made it a priority to get to know these people. I didn't have much time to talk on the phone or even just stop and think about anything...

Heath did come to visit a couple of times though and brought me flowers. :) He is a good hubby. I truly think that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Yes - some purple pride. EMAW. ;)


And, was it as hard as I expected? Yes and no. It is tough...or rather, vigorous and challenging. But, I feel pretty confident in my abilities and my education. Heath was always wondering what I was doing with my time, since I was busy a lot. I would just send him texts like this...

Overall, I had a wonderful experience in Manhattan. Great people, great school, great city, and so on. I am really proud of what I accomplished there so far and look forward to continuing the program. I can't help it, family; I am proud of this school! It represents a big life choice for me and it's a choice that I am incredibly proud of.

Wish me luck as I continue this path! Please wish Heath luck as he helps me! This is a family effort after all. :)

Who knew? EMAW afterall...

Big Girl

Lucy is 3 years old.

It is blowing my mind. She is such a big girl. Although, she is just a baby in my heart...the young lady that she is becoming is keeping me on my toes!

She likes clothes, shoes, bows, nail polish, makeup, lip stick, jewelry, sparkles, coats, scarves, fixing hair, and above all the color pink! She is a girly girl to the core.

Yes. She is still a kid though and plays in the dirt, in her cavatini, and lays on the floor.

But, she is looking at her Highlights magazine! She also looks through our mail, clothing catalogs, and my gossip magazines. Oh, and forgive my uncleaned floors...

She tries to stay little, like her sister. But, the poor thing is just getting too big. She is thinning out too; her little baby fat is disappearing...

She is playing with "big girl" toys too. She has a ton of Barbies and accessories now! I have even let her play with the Barbie shoes and small purses. 

Now, instead of the continuous moping around about my first baby growing into a little girl. Let's celebrate her achievements.

Lucy Milestones:

• She is using the potty all the time now.
• She is even waking up in the middle of the night to have us take her potty, with no wet morning pull-ups.
• She ate her entire soft taco the other night! Yes. This is worth celebrating. The only thing that she really goes to town on is canned Spaghettios. Yuck.
• She can and will paint your toenails. Just ask Heath.
• She has memorized two prayers.
• And, she has become the best big sister ever! She is always helping Olive and trying soothe her when she is upset. I have never seen such love! My heart melts. Related post to come later.
• She does the Goof-bot (the robot dance Goofy does on Mickey Mouse club house). 
• She can spell 'Lucy' and 'Mickey Mouse.' 
• She can even write her name, if she is looking at an example.

I just don't know what I'll do when she starts preschool next fall. Bah!  

New Nap Mat

Sometimes I pick Lucy up early from DayCare. We try to work around nap time; however, at 2:30 or 3 pm, sometimes, Lucy is still sleeping. I would usually walk in and take an immediate left into the baby room, where Lucy had her own pack-n-play to sleep in. Well, a few weeks ago I turned left and was halted by one of the daycare providers. "Lucy is over here."

I turned and Lucy was to my right. She was on a nap mat, sleeping with the older children. First, I was thinking, "Wow! How did you get her to lay there and fall asleep?" Then, I thought about how big she was getting, as I approached her. She was on a daycare nap mat.

They look like this. They are red and blue, and they easily fold up for storage. They are pretty cushion-y, actually. However, they are that vinyl type of material.

When I approached Lucy she was so sweaty and her poor little face was sticking to the mat with sweat and slobber. I type that and kind of smile with amusement...but, I knew then that we needed to get her a nap mat of her own. Even if she got a sleeping bag and placed it on top of the mat, it would be a little better for laying on.

I scoured the internet for a comfortable and affordable option. You could literally spend, like, $50 on a mat! I found a winner and we ordered it.

I knew Lucy would love the princess mat, with the crowned frog in the bottom, right-hand corner.

We removed the name tag and the pillow to give it a quick wash. The next morning it was rolled up and ready to go! :) Lucy loved that she could grab the handle and easily carry it with her.

She carried it into DayCare and I was bursting with happiness. She was so proud of her new mat. She started yelling from the door, "Look! New mat!"  Or, for those of you who know Lucy, it was more like, "Gook, New maat!"

She even yelled at one point, "Awesome, new mat!" The phrase she picked up from Heath.

We all walked into the kitchen, Lucy leading the way with her mat. She stopped and lifted it above her head. Her eyes were wide and mouth was dropped open in awe. I was so happy that it made her so happy. I scanned the room of children. Most were holding some type of breakfast item in their hands and they stared blankly at Lucy. Poor girl.

No one was giving her the awe-stricken reactions that mom and dad did. Then, the daycare provider turned from the counter and started to ohh and ahh. :) Lucy lowered her mat in satisfaction. She then got to carry her new mat over to where the others were stored and place hers on top. :)  She was so, so proud of herself and at that point, I wanted to buy her the world. She was so happy...

She turned around and brushed her hands along her legs, as if she had just accomplished a great task. Then, we told her goodbye for the day.

My heart bursts with happiness when I think about her showing it off. She was so proud and excited over a nap mat. A nap mat. It was the best $23 we ever spent! :) She is getting too big!

Big Girl Room

Another renovation is coming soon to the Lucy Jean house! :) We are in the process of changing our spare bedroom into Lucy's big girl room! I have been slowly collecting things for months now, getting way too excited about organizing and decorating - not to mention all of the ideas I've pinned on Pinterest.com.

Although I don't have any before pictures right now, I will have some soon. I do have some of my completely accurate and to-scale diagrams though! :)

Pretty bland room, right? Well, this is what I hope to do with it:

 

The closet is pretty big and the tall dresser offers five 1.5' x 2' drawers. As of now, that is plenty of room for Lucy's clothes. The book case will be a storage area for additional toys and other girly items. :) And, I am not sure sure about the rug yet, hence the question mark. The room is carpeted; but the carpet is beige and we might need a pop of color!

Speaking of colors, what is the color scheme? Here it is:

These aren't the exact shades; but, they are as close as I can pull up on the computer right now. :{ The main thing I wanted was for them to be darker and not pastel.

The plan is to have two walls white, one wall teal, and one wall dark purple. The pink and green will be accent colors. :) You would be amazed at how popular these colors really are. I am finding stuff all over!

I plan on buying the same bookcase again, that we have in the playroom, from Target.

I will then fill it with a few, cute bins.

Since I am really getting excited, we have already started to purchase things too. Here are just a few of them: 

I got these cute hooks at Kohl's for only $11 each. They will be prefect for Lucy's coats!

 And, we got this lamp at Target for $16. Lucy picked out the pink one. I let her choose between pink, purple and turquoise. I have a girly-girl after all! :)

I've also had my eye on some bedding at Target.com. I originally wanted to get Lucy Tangled bedding; but, it just didn't tie into the colors. I was afraid that it wouldn't look cohesive enough. So, I am thinking about getting this toddler bedding, even though it has some pastel pink on it...

There are still a few other things we need. So, if anyone spots some cute items out there let me know!

• a ceiling fan (white)
• 7 new drawer pulls/handles (one screw hole)
• accent pillows
• an area rug
• picture frames and other decor
• white shelves (for keepsakes - up and out of the way)
• and more that I can't remember right now...

What do you think so far?

Pre-Lucy Thoughts

Each child is different and each one may need different 'tactics'!

Of course all moms like to give advice and let me be the first mom to tell you that my way works best. haha. Just kidding. But, here you go...

1. What kind of diaper bag did you use? Purse-type? Diaper-bag type? Did your husband carry it? Did you use the straps to hold it on to the stroller? Did you also carry a purse?

First of all, wowsers! That is a lot of questions. That type of fast-firing of questions is how I imagine a chihuahua would talk, if it could. :)  Anyway - I had a larger, black diaper bag. I wanted one that didn't have pastels and animals on it. So, my husband researched for "the best" one he could. It was online and had the best reviews. It looked more like a luggage-type bag than a diaper bag or purse, or at least I think so. My husband did carry it, since it was so ambiguous. We did use the straps for the stroller; we also used the straps that hold it onto the shopping cart. It was really helpful! Most of the time I still carried a purse, unless we were just running to a family members house or something, then I just threw my stuff in the diaper bag.

2. When did you fit back into your pre-baby pants? Did you buy larger pants or stay in maternity pants after baby?

I think it is unrealistic to think you are going to just hop back into your pre-baby pants. However, you are talking to someone who gained 54 lbs while pregnant. :[ I know those types of "freaks-of-nature" exist (no offense to those of you out there); but, I was NOT one of them. I didn't get back into my pre-baby pants until, like, 6 months later. Before that I had to buy new, big clothes (boo!). Just remember that everyone is different and hopefully my story makes you feel a bit better about it! haha.

3. Favorite brands of diapers? Wipes?

We quickly became Pampers fans. We tried Huggies once when Lucy was a newborn and didn't like them. We never tried any other kind after that. For wipes, we prefer Huggies. That is weird; I know. We buy both though. Huggies are just a bit thicker and don't rip as easily when you pull them out. An argument for Pampers: Children's hospital uses Pampers - must be good! :)

4. Where did baby sleep those first few weeks (or longer)? Your bed? Bassinet? Crib? In your room or his/her own?

Lucy was our first, and it's me we're talking about here. So, the paranoia was through the roof! SIDS scares the poop out of me! I didn't want Lucy sleeping away from me for at least a month. It ended up, she slept in our room for 2 months before moving to her own room. She slept in a pack-n-play, in the shallow insert they have...hard to describe. The next one may move to his or her room faster; who knows? Lucy had a hard time soothing herself. Or, we had a hard time letting her soothe herself, something like that...

5. How long until baby made a public appearance? Where was baby's first public appearance?

Our family visited a lot immediately; so, we didn't really need to leave the house a lot. Since Lucy was born in the middle of winter, we were also encouraged to not let her be around a lot of people (flu!). I think her first real public appearance was to the doctor and back. I think we made a trip shopping all day when she was 6 weeks and that was a big deal - and tough! I honestly didn't feel like getting out too much; I was still really self-conscious and sleep deprived!

6. Most useful baby item? I ran into a girl shopping for a baby gift in Target & she was looking at hooded towels. I said they were useful but should have thought of more useful items!

It is really tough to say what was the most useful. We have had a lot of items that we really needed to get by. The most would probably have to be the boppy. It helped me support Lucy when I breastfed and she was able to nap in it. It comforted her; she felt like she was still being held. It was our infant savior!

7. Did you find out the baby's gender beforehand?

Yes. I wanted to be able to plan out clothing and colors and a name. I like to plan and be organized. Experiencing birth and seeing Lucy's face was enough excitement for one day. We wanted to have something revealed throughout the pregnancy. :)

8. How long was your hospital stay? Did your hospital provide any cool services (special meal, spa treatment, etc)?

We were there technically three nights, since I went in at 9 pm and was in labor all night. It seemed to be the perfect number of days for our first baby. The hospital had a special menu for the parents, where Heath was able to eat too. It was nice. :) No spa treatments though. :(

9. Were you induced? Have a c-section? Use drugs? Epidural? Or au natural the whole way?

I went into labor naturally, a couple of days before she was due. I was lucky. I was also able to have her vaginally, which is what we wanted. The labor was long and slow - 36 hours; however, Lucy did really well and they never felt the need to rush it or do a C-Section. My doctor actually claimed, "Lucy [was] loving the birthing process." I was offered something to "take the edge off" while I waited for the epidural. I said yes; I would take anything they thought I could have at that point. It really did help a little. Then, I got an epidural at 4 cm and about 26 hours in. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

10. Do you like when friends come to the hospital to congratulate you or would you prefer that time just for your family (extended or immediate?)?

I really liked everyone being there for Lucy's birth. However, it was a little overwhelming. I felt at my absolute most vulnerable. I just wanted to shower and cuddle my baby. However, two hours after and a shower later, I was ready to show her off. Most visitors respected our exhaustion though and kept their visits somewhat brief. But, I think I preferred the visits in the hospital to the ones when we got home. Visitors during the first couple of weeks at home really made it tough to get into a routine or to take naps. :[ Everyone is different though.  Perhaps adjusting with a second child is easier - ?

Have a good Tuesday! And, please mothers out there chime in all you want! :)

Where did Heath and Cori go?

This is a rhetorical question. Don't think too much about it.

However, I do think a lot about it. Heath and I both do. We've reached a point in parenting where we are constantly being thought of as mom and dad; we are always a family. But, where did Heath and Cori go? Where did the couple go? When did 'relationship' become 'co-parenting'?

When we first had Lucy, it brought us so close - closer than we could have ever imagined. It was such a wonderful feeling to share the miracle of birth with Heath - to look at him and know that we created this beautiful baby out of love. Wonderful!

Since Lucy turned one year old and became a mobile, tantrum-thrower, who can't be left alone for two seconds...our relationship has shifted. It is all we can do to have an adult conversation in bed at night before falling quickly asleep.

Lucy goes to sleep at 8:30 pm, you say?

You are right. However, that time is when I can actually use a pen without someone crying and having a fit, trying to snatch it out of my hands. Or, when I can cut coupons without someone thinking they need to shred my papers or steal my scissors. Or, use cleaning products without having someone right behind me, digging in my cleaning bucket or trying to wipe her face with the Pledge towel I just used.

Alright, alright. I know. I can do these things, if I can distract her. However, let me give you a quick example of such a case. I wasn't watching her for a few minutes and left her in the living room. It should have been pretty safe - no exits, no electrical outlets, no heavy items, no swallow-able items. However, Heath found her.....sitting in the middle of the coffee table, watching television. She had moved a couch pillow over to the side of the table and climbed right up.

I wouldn't change a thing in our lives. I love my family so much. However, Heath and I need to find one another again. We need a re-boost of relationship energy.

We often feel guilty for having date nights. We feel super guilty when Lucy stays the night somewhere. And, when you feel rested and good the next day, you almost feel guilty for enjoying yourself so much. It's like you shouldn't be happy, if Lucy wasn't involved...

We recently went to Weston, Kansas and stayed at a Bed and Breakfast with my family. Lucy stayed at her Grandma Jeannie's. It was so relaxing. Heath and I had a great time. We found each other again.

Monday came and we went back to the old routine.

We know that we need to be more active in making date nights a routine. We need to. It's tough; I'll admit. Since we work so much, we don't get to spend as much time with Lucy as we want. Any time we get with her, we cherish. We hate to give up even a couple of hours to go out to eat.

So, perhaps we need to take one night a week to not do chores, not mow, not cut coupons, not work, not do all of the things we just 'have' to do. We could take one night to put Lucy to sleep, pop some popcorn, and just watch a movie, cuddling on the couch.

It's easy to feel guilty about not cleaning or making lists of to-dos. The weeds in my flower bed mock me. The unswept floor really grinds my gears. But, when it comes to our relationships, it's easy to put them on the back burner to these minuscule, unimportant to the big picture, things.

This weekend we are going away for our three year wedding anniversary. Hopefully we can start a trend of date night.

Have you and your significant other ever reached this bump in the road? How did you get over it?

Note: Heath and I are doing just fine. Family - don't freak out like we'll get a divorce or something. haha.

The Winds are Changing

The Lucy household is in for some changes in the coming months. We are approaching the age of potty training and binkie removal. I cringe as I type those.

Potty training? I assume it is a lot harder than it seems. I, for one, have always been that person who would be shocked when older children weren't potty trained and would ask other people, "Shouldn't they be potty trained by now?"

Now, I just might have been putting my foot in my mouth all of that time.

I'm nervous.

What if Lucy has a hard time with it? What if it takes forever? She is in daycare, as you know, so the consistency will be a little difficult. And, to be honest, TMI, she has become a little inconsistent in the timing of messy diapers.

I've been told by several people:

"It isn't a big deal."
"Girls are easier than boys."
"I had mine potty trained before they were ___(insert unbelievably early age here)__."

It is a lot of pressure. I just don't want to start too early or start too late. Because according to my Granny, a cousin of mine was started too early, was potty trained for a while, and then reverted back to messing her pants. (haha - no, it wasn't Hannah.)

BabyCenter.com says that you shouldn't start until they are at least 18 months; but, people keep asking me when we are starting and why we haven't started yet. :{ I have to sadly say...I'm a "going by the book" kind of gal, for the most part. I was the youngest in my family, so I didn't really get to experience all of this stuff first hand. All I have are the answers from different mothers (which are always different), or references, like my doctor, BabyCenter.com, or What to Expect....

For Lucy's 18 month "birthday"? She is getting a big'ol potty chair. :) If for nothing else, then to sit on...naked. :)

We'll see how it goes. I'll be sure to let you know how hard or easy the transition is for Lucy and us. Watch - it will be really easy and then our next child will be super difficult (as my mom claimed it was with my sister and me).

As for binkie removal? Ugh...we really need to start weaning her. We've been trying. In fact, a couple of nights ago, I almost put her to bed without it! When I gave it to her, I realized that she hadn't had it the entire night! It was a small achievement. :) Perhaps it will be easier than we thought too...

My biggest worry with it? Is that we use it for this:

Is that awful? haha. Heath calls it "the plug."

Screaming in the grocery store? Oh, just get "the plug."

If you are interested in this particular pacifier, they sell it on Amazon.com for a decent price. :) I think it's great. haha.

The winds are changing...I just don't know if I want to put up my sail up yet or not. :{

10 Days Away from Lucy

Besides the quick post last week and the television schedule for Christmas, you may have wondered where the heck I was! Or, perhaps, you didn't even notice - which is fine too. Well, I was in Mexico...on a cruise to be exact. I didn't want to say anything before hand because I am paranoid about people knowing we are gone.....you understand.

It all started when my mom got remarried. She wanted to go on a family trip to celebrate. I highly recommended a cruise, since we just loved our honeymoon cruise. When I was 8 months pregnant with Lucy we decided that we would book it. My thought process was, "Lucy will be 10 months old by then and it won't be as scary." It was a thought for such a 'non-mother.' What the heck was I thinking? Heath even asked me that a few days before the trip. What were we thinking, leaving Lucy for this long? We seriously thought it wouldn't be THAT difficult.

Well, as she grew and we grew into parenthood, I became increasingly nervous about the situation. I was basically 'freaking out' in all of my paranoid ways. In the last month I cried lots of nights to Heath, just pouring out to him how scared I was of leaving her.

As most of you have gathered, I have some control issues. I like feeling somewhat in control of the situation - especially if I feel emotionally attached. So, giving up control and trusting things will be alright is very difficult for me. I did the only thing I knew how, as a self proclaimed, organized, control-freak. I made a Lucy 'handbook' for the relatives who were keeping her.

It was a 7-page manual about her routine, feeding, teething, sleeping...you name it, it was in there!

Over the top? I know what you are thinking, "you left her with relatives (specifically her aunt & uncle and her grandma), not some bum on the street!" Yes, you are correct. I know that and I told myself that over and over again. Also, I've left her before for overnight visits with my mom and even full days with other family members. I even trust daycare to watch her for 8 hours a day!

I think it was the idea of the ship - being disconnected from the world. I kept thinking of this horrible story I once heard about a girl whose grandmother passed away while she was on a cruise and she didn't find out until she got back. No one wanted to ruin her trip and she hadn't contacted anyone back home. I just knew I would come back to Lucy in the hospital or with stitches or something! Calm down Cori, you're crazies are emerging...

Finally though, the day came. It was time to say "Until Later." I kissed her and told her how much I loved her over and over again. I prayed for her more times that day than I can remember. I was terrified. I of course bawled my eyes out, which resulted in my Aunt and my Grandma crying too. It was an emotional one for the moms.

I thought about her the entire trip. We ended up being able to check our email on the boat. It was like $25 for 60 minutes; so, we'd check it fast. Our family sent updates, pictures, and videos. It was something that I looked so forward to during the day. It almost made me cry too; but, it was a happy cry. It was exactly what I needed. Thank goodness she didn't pass any major milestones during those 10 days. I really would have been upset then!

The cruise was exactly what I wanted; well to be honest, it was what I needed. Heath and I both needed it. I needed to learn to trust and let go of a little control, every once in a while. I needed to get away from work and stress too. Overall, it was just nice to feel like Heath and I were married again! We haven't really celebrated each other in a long while. On the cruise we were able to get dressed up, go to nice dinners, relax, and actually get some alone time.



The hardest part, I thought, would be saying good-bye to Lucy. Wrong - coming back to see her was harder for me. She changed! She looked different! He hair was lighter, her hands were bigger, her face changed a little, she just looked different! She even smiled differently! If you ask Heath, I am delirious. Hey, a mother knows these things and she had changed, seriously! I felt so left out. That was when the guilt came pouring over me. She was kind of shy and confused when we got back. It broke my heart. I just held her tight and told her that we'd never leave her again - to that, Heath laughed. He thinks I'm dramatic; I'm sure. Today, she is finally back to 'normal' and I am used to her always changing looks.

Would I do it again? Yeah, probably. I feel like a much more seasoned mother now, for some reason. I feel like I took a major step that I would have had to experience at some point. I just skipped ahead a few chapters. Plus, the cruise was so fun and as I said before, it was great for Heath and me.

Thank you, family, for keeping my baby girl safe. I owe you! :)

Before You Know It...

There we were. Standing in Lucy's room at 9:08 pm last night. Heath with his arms crossed and one hand on his mouth, as if he was studying something. That something was Lucy actually. Me? Well, I was standing studying her as well, with my hands on my hips. There was a lot of glancing at each other.......hmmmmmm. Finally Heath said, "Yep, let's lower it tomorrow."

I immediately flashed back to a year ago, November 2009. I was standing, with a bulging belly in Lucy's nursery, peering out the window at my dad. He was unloading Lucy's furniture. In the back of his truck, the dresser still stood. On the ground was the crib box. It seemed much easier to take out of the box outside and then move it indoors. Oh, and there are my mums which were still alive.......darn 3 feet of snow on the ground winter!

I got to play the lazy (or pregnant, rather) card and take pictures of the process and got out of assisting at all.

They moved the crib and put the frame at the highest setting. They even moved it over to the appropriate corner.

Then, my dad said it. "Before you know it, we'll be lowering the mattress." At the time, I said, "Oh yeah...," as if I knew what he was getting at. Really, I was thinking....um, no that is like forever from now.

Boy, was he right.

Back to last night, I grabbed Lucy's hands on the side of her crib and lowered her back down. She grumbled, as she had delighted in hanging onto the side and jumping up and down vigorously. Any bystander could tell she was looking for approval and perhaps a little bit of applause at her achievement. Instead, there we stood.......staring, watching her fluffy, baby hair 'whoosh' in the wind her bounces were creating.

How did we get here so fast? It seriously feels like yesterday that we put the crib together. And, why did my dad's comment stick with me so? Where did the time go?

Tonight is the official lowering of the crib. I am saying good-bye to semi-mobile Lucy and welcoming mobile-Lucy into our home. Is this the final step? Nope. But, it is another step in the 'safe' direction. Wish me luck on this milestone readers!

Update

Holy hiatus! I have been working my tail off lately. Those of you who know what I do for a living, know that this time of year is crazy. I get home from work and can barely muster up enough energy to make supper. Ugh. Well, that is all I care to discuss about that subject. Let’s talk about something fun!
I just have so many thoughts; I don’t know where to start. I guess I will go with my Irish twin spotting. Yep! I spotted some. Haha. I know I make it sound like I saw a leprechaun or something. Seriously though, it took me by surprise and Heath as well. And here, I had just learned the term. I spotted them while I was getting a pedicure/manicure.

Side note: I usually just get manicures, because I am a compulsive nail biter. It’s a gross, horrible habit. However, on this occasion, I was able to get another pedicure before summer ends. Why you say? Heath and I made a deal. Usually, whoever notices or is holding Lucy when she stinks-up her diaper, has to change it. One night Heath, while holding Lucy, decides that she stunk just too bad and strongly suggested that I change her. A bit of bickering led to me asking, “What do I get, if I do?”
“A pedicure,” Heath said with flaring nostrils.

“Deal.” I really don’t mind changing her that bad. I was bickering over principle. So, I got my pedicure!

Anyway, back to the story. Here I was in the nail salon enjoying some good leg, ankle, and sole rubbing when a woman walks in the door. She couldn’t have been much over 30 years old. She had a young girl with her, perhaps 4 years old. She was also carrying a backward facing, car seat. This indicates to me that the baby girl inside couldn’t have been much over 1 year old. Also, the woman was pretty pregnant. I would have guessed about 6 months.

I’m quickly doing the math. Let’s say that baby is 12 months old, that means she conceived when that baby was about 6 months old - wow. Exactly what I was discussing…crazy!

I watched as she and her older daughter got a pedicure. The woman was unexpectedly happy (to me anyway), while being that pregnant and trying to keep track of two young children in a nail salon. I of course eavesdropped on her conversation with an older woman sitting next to her.

“When are you due?” the elderly woman asked.

“In two weeks,” she said with a smile.

Two weeks? My first thought was, “Oh jeez, I was her size when I was 6 months pregnant. She would have made me look like a blimp!” Second thought, she must have conceived that baby very quickly. Yet, here she was, so calm, collected.

I couldn’t help but think that I, in that situation, would have said something like, “Yeah, I know, we just keep churnin’ them out.” Or, perhaps, “My husband and I just can’t keep our hands off each other…haha.” Something to explain this mishap! But, once again, only a mishap in my life – perhaps this woman planned it. (Some head shaking going on right now, on my part. It’s crazy!)

Anyway, that was my spotting. She was having a little boy, by the way. I was happy for her. She had two girls already. She was surprisingly forthcoming about the name too – Beckett. It’s pretty cute. The old woman wasn’t too impressed; I could tell. It got really awkward for a second. I felt awkward and I wasn’t even part of the conversation! I hate when that happens.

Otherwise, besides getting pampered, my little family has been looking very much forward to cooler weather. We can’t wait to open up the house!

Anxiety? PPD? Or just Crazy?

Perhaps it’s doubt –as in: I doubt they have my symptoms in the DSM IV. Unless the ‘D’ in PPD stands for dramatic, I doubt that I have that either. And lastly, I doubt I can handle this situation without tears. :(

I tend to overanalyze, overcompensate, overdramatize, and just plain overdo it. I feel like I can get my point across much better that way. So, here we go: I am semi-freaking out. I am not really sure what the ‘freaking out’ part means. That is why I have been trying to self-diagnose myself.

I am going to be away from Lucy for 4 ½ days! Once again, I am going to be away from Lucy for 4 ½ days!!! Notice the three exclamation points, which stands for the resounding echo in my head.

I coyly told myself initially that I could totally handle this situation. Lucy is almost 6 months old, eating cereal, and is so close to sitting up on her own. She will be with family and more specifically, her daddy. She will be in good hands and no one will want to leave her side for a second. Being around family will be good for her. Then why am I semi-freaking out?

Let me fill you in. Heath’s family has a lake-side timeshare near Branson, Missouri. He is one of six children and by some miracle all of the kids are able to attend a family vacation. Of course, we will be there and of course, the only grandchild, Lucy, will be there! Oh wait, I have hardly any vacation time built up (maternity leave, gallbladder surgery, and a family cruise scheduled for late fall).

Rock – Cori – Hard Place

It is only right if Heath and Lucy go with his family for the entire week. I am not going to be the wicked daughter-in-law who the family hates and keep them from doing so. The solution was simple. Heath and Lucy head down with the family early and I head down later, taking only two and a half days off of work. I can finish out the week in the sun, along the lake, and with the family. It sounds amazing. But, you know what isn’t amazing? Having your baby away from you for 4 ½ days!!! Once again, three exclamation points!

What am I going to do to ease my mind before I go to sleep? Repeatedly check on an empty crib?

I can’t begin to name all of the things that I will miss and obsess over in just four days. I am hoping that some mothers out there understand what I am saying. I know it is semi-irrational, but I am having some serious anxiety about it. So much so, that I haven’t slept well the last couple of nights. I just lie in bed obsessing over the idea.

Many older mothers just tell me, “well, it was going to happen sometime.” Yes, but it feels so soon and please don’t compare your child going to college to me and my baby.

Since I know I won’t be able to come full circle in this post and somehow find a resolution or comfort, I’ll leave you with this quote. I feel it now more than ever.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” – Elizabeth Stone

Rice Cereal

Lucy recently started rice cereal! She is getting so big, so fast (5 months, 2 weeks).

We didn't start her on cereal earlier, because the doctor's office told us to wait until she wasn't content with formula alone. Also, they said the earlier we started her, the more likely she would be to have allergies. So, a month later, Heath fed her 8 oz. of formula and an hour and 45 minutes later she wanted more and ate 7 oz. That was when we decided it was time for cereal.

We started last Sunday with a very runny helping of cereal. Initially we tried to give it to her on a spoon, just to get used to the idea of a spoon. It worked for about 4 out of the 50 spoon fulls. She would spit out and re-eat the same bite over and over again. Somehow we managed to get most of it down, but had to resort to bottle feeding her the rest. Even Heath's sounds and dancing the spoon around didn't interest her.

After a week of thin cereal, we decided to thicken it up a bit. Last night's feeding was very successful! She is figuring out to open her mouth for the spoon and somewhat chews, or gums rather, the cereal.

I cannot believe she is getting so old and so big. I imagined some day feeding her in the highchair with a spoon; but, it got here a lot sooner than I imagined. I feel like it was just the other day that I was pregnant with her!

(Comments & Video Removed for Privacy)

Disney Geniuses

This last week I realized just how much Disney influences our lives – alright, how much it influences my life. I sat down to watch one of my favorite shows on ABC Family, which is Disney owned. The DVR didn’t record it. Wait, what? I immediately accused Heath of one of his stupid shows taking priority. If South Park recorded over one of my ‘can’t miss an episode’ shows, I was going to lose it! We investigated and found that it was scheduled, but just didn’t record. Weird.

Then, it happened AGAIN! “Heath come here and figure out what is wrong with our DVR!” Heath, who is the epitome of the word ‘geek,’ could usually troubleshoot the worst electronic malfunctions. So, I allowed him to do his magic. It didn’t take long to realize that we didn’t have any Disney HD channels and the schedule had been cleared out! We had other channels in HD so Heath googled the issue.

Apparently Disney and Dish Network are in a legal battle right now over how much HD channels were worth. It stated that Disney wanted to charge more for their HD channels and Dish didn’t want to pay it – hence the channels being gone.

I didn’t even need to know the details of the argument or who was truly at fault; but, funny enough, I sided with Disney. I LOVE Disney, Disney everything! How dare Dish not pay for the channels? They are totally worth it! They own ABC, ABC Family, Disney East, Disney West, ESPN, and then the various Disney carton and extreme channels, as well as the various ESPNs and SoapNet. They basically run the world: television, movies, music, amusement parks, cruises, hotels, clothing, toys, accessories, etc. Momma Disney didn’t raise no fool!

Heath and I actually considered changing dish providers because Direct TV isn’t having these issues. I guess only time will tell. So, as if this issue wasn’t enough to make me feel semi-ashamed at how much I, as a 24-year-old, loved Disney channels, it doesn’t end there.

I actually had a Saturday morning to lie in bed and do nothing this weekend. Rare, but it happened. Heath brought Lucy into our bedroom and I turned on the TV. I saw that SpongeBob was on and knew that Lucy would probably love it. Nevertheless, I avoided it. Lucy is only 4 ¾ months old and I am already trying to steer her toward Disney. I don’t want her to be a Nickelodeon girl! Ahhh….what is wrong with me?

I have always envisioned our family vacation at Disney World in Orlando. I envision taking the Disney Cruises when our children are older too. They are just so wholesome and teach the best life lessons. Predictable? Absolutely, but only to those who know Disney the best! :)

So, now, after talking to Heath about how excited I was to watch ‘Pretty Little Liars’ on ABC Family tonight, I realize how sucked in I have become. It is just something about that company! They are geniuses. I mean, come on – anyone who can re-release movies out of the so-called “vault”? All they do is get the next generation of parents to buy their classics over and over and over again. Economic geniuses.

My name is Cori and I’m a Disney-aholic. But, I would totally wish it upon anyone. :) It’s wonderful!


Note: Lucy rolled from her back to her belly this last Saturday, June 26th! Daddy saw it first, but I witnessed it on Sunday. :)

Cleaning Out the Closet

Getting rid of dispensable items is something that I have been thinking about lately. We have a lot of dispensable or unnecessary items in our lives. Let’s be honest – the glass vase in the guest bathroom filled with multicolored glass beads serves no purpose. The brown, leather box in the kitchen, originally meant to help us organize and has now become a catch-all, is being counterproductive. And, although Lucy’s mobile is adorable and gives a sense of completion for a nursery, it is pretty useless. It plays music for about a minute and then stops rotating and singing. Haha….nice try, but it takes a lot more than that to put her to sleep!

Heath and I cleaned out our closets - figuratively speaking. The items that once filled us with joy when we put them up on the checkout belt, now needed to say goodbye. They brought us $147 at our garage sale a few weekends ago. Yes, if you are wondering, we kept the vase in the bathroom, the brown box, and of course Lucy’s mobile!

It was as if my body knew though. It felt the childhood stuffed animals, the array of college room décor, and office furniture leaving. It decided I could afford to get rid of something else as well – my gallbladder.

Here I have been for 24 years, going along in life thinking I needed a gallbladder. I guess not. Although it serves a function (storing bile?), apparently it isn’t that “big of a deal.” It is the ugly step-sister, the runner up, the 16-year-old kid who rides a bicycle on Friday nights. So two weeks ago, I was told that it was coming out.

I had been having mild attacks for a few weeks and then had such horrible pain that I listed it number 2 on the pain list (number 1 being labor!). I was up all night and finally gave into Heath begging me to go to the doctor the next morning. Oh jeez… “Cori, your gallbladder is inflamed. You are scheduled for surgery Wednesday.” That was only a day away. Really? Is the gallbladder that unimportant that we just give up on it? My gallbladder is sick and we are just putting it down? Come on people, let’s get the heart paddles out; it isn’t over yet!

Alright, I’m being dramatic. But, seriously, do we give up on anything as easy? I have spent more time contemplating a clue on a crossword puzzle.

Although it seemed so worthless and easy to get rid of, just like our garage sale items, I feel the void! Let’s pretend that I don’t have four little scars on my torso as a reminder; all the same, eating just isn’t as fun! Those of you who have had your gallbladder taken out know what I am taking about!

It is when I think about what the surgeon said to me, that I am alright with all of it – “Your baby is to blame for this.”

It was a male surgeon, as if you didn’t already know. I don’t think he meant it to be mean, but it made me think – well then bring on ten surgeries. I would do anything for that 14 pounds of pure, round perfection!

Heath and I were willing to trade all of our 'closet items' for $147. And you know what? I am more willing to trade my gallbladder, pain, and more, for Lucy.


Note: Lucy finally rolled over for her mommy and daddy last week. :)

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

I am not quite sure what double-blogging is, but this may very well be an example of it. Oh well, I am not really a typical blogger and who sets up these rules anyway?

Alright, I’m not going to ‘hem-haw’ around anymore. I am just going to lay it out there. Lucy rolled over for the first time and I missed it. Did you read that? Lucy rolled over for the first time and I missed it!

I think that I would have handled it a little better, if, say, Heath would have been the first witness. But, Daycare? I’m so sad. I feel like…yeah I’ll say it, the last kid picked in dodge ball. Even worse – when they finally got around to picking me they flat out said, “You can’t play with us.” I feel so left out. Yes, yes, I can hear the teeny tiny violin playing a song just for me. But, I felt like this was her first real big milestone.

I walk into daycare today and they say to me, “I set Lucy on her tummy for just a second and she rolled right over.” I was excited and overwhelmingly proud…but, but,…Heath did you hear that? He, too, shared in the excitement and proud pats on her tummy (which was protruding over her lacey, melon-colored shorts). I wondered if he felt like I did. The only word I can think of is: sad. I am just sad about it. Disappointed? Not really, not in Lucy anyway. Depressed? Kind of, but I’m not going to go cry in a corner or anything. Regretful? Maybe.

Once Heath left, our Daycare provider and I tried to recreate the moment that I had missed out on. Lucy hated it though. She kept looking at me like, “What is this? You hold me, remember?” When I saw one little tear roll down her nose, I had to pick her up.

Guilty? Yep, I also feel that. I already leave her for eight hours every day. I miss out on eight hours of her life every day. Now I have to feel bad about this too. Someone once told me, "It isn’t the quantity of time you spend with your children, but rather, the quality." That’s some pretty good advice. Hopefully my feelings about it will carry through the next 6 years, until Lucy goes to school – then, with the next child and the next. Until then, I will have to repeat my newly created mantra, “I will see her roll over eventually. I will see her roll over eventually. Rolling, rolling, rolling.”

The Big, Yellow Tote

Again, last night, I took a large pile of Lucy’s clothes down to storage. It required both hands to carry the stacks down to the basement. In the smaller, clear tote are the yellow, green, and occasionally blue clothes that can be used for a future little brother. In the big, yellow tote, the pinks, the hearts, the lace, and the dresses…

She is officially out of every single ‘Newborn’ item we ever had. That was tough for me to handle. When I put into storage the outfit she came home in, it broke my heart. All I can think about is: will this ever be used again? Will Lucy get a little sister to wear these outfits? Will they ever really be the next little girl’s? Or will they always be Lucy’s clothes that her sister wears?

I had favorites: the hospital outfit, the family tree shirt, and the fluffy pajamas with hearts all over. It seems like forever before we’ll get them out again, either to use or to garage sale.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that Lucy is fitting into her 0 to 3 overalls finally and shoes are becoming fun! But, why is it so tough to handle that she is a growing girl? I still haven’t wrapped my brain around the fact that she is only 5 days away from being 4 months old! And, here I am, still dressing her in 0 to 3 month outfits. Then, I am completely shocked when they don’t fit!

Alright, where am I going with this? All of you parents are thinking, “Get used to it. This is just the beginning.” Well, I knew she would grow and it would go fast. But, it seems like the clothes are the one thing that measures how fast time is going by. She only wore some outfits once and others - never! Okay, I lied; I can tell the growth in other ways too. Each time I pick up that car seat, I swear it is 10 pounds heavier. By 12 months old, I won’t even be able to pick up the thing…that or I will have some crazy muscular arms! :)

Other milestones worth noting: she can take her ‘binkie’ out of her mouth and occasionally get it back in, she can sit in her Bumbo unaccompanied, she can finally appreciate a rattle, the giggling is loud and common, and she can soothe herself to sleep, to an extent.

Well, her bedroom is cleaned out, once again. Clothes that are too small no longer linger. I know I will be going through it again here in about two weeks. Then, again, I will have to face that big, yellow tote. I am hoping over time it gets easier to close. Maybe one day I can think about the joy the clothes will bring me when I unpack them, with a big pregnant belly.