Graduate School

Heath graduated last December, with his MBA. As soon as he had finished, we started really talking about me going back to school and getting my graduate degree. The plan was to wait until he was done, before I started. It was the best decision financially. Plus, I don't know if you noticed, but I was busy havin' babies...

If I'm being completely honest, I was a little scared to apply to graduate school. I had K-State picked out since I was 22 and hadn't applied. It was terrifying. What if I got rejected? I didn't think that my ego could bare a blow like that. Terrifying.

After making a zillion excuses, Heath and I talked myself into it.

I'm sure Heath hated me for those months prior. I was a mess. I would basically have a conversation with myself.

"Should I wait until the girls are older?
No. That is silly. There is no time like the present.
I mean, if I would have started two and a half years ago, I'd already be done!
It will be tough with the girls. But, Heath, you did it. I can do it too.
What if I fail? What if I struggle being a mom and a student?
Although, it is important to show the girls that school is a priority too."

This was the inner dialog escaping from my brain and blurting out my mouth.

Needless to say, after a $50 application fee, I was obligated to at least submit a Statement of Objectives, etc.

After several versions and editing sessions, it was ready to mail.

I hadn't told anyone but Heath that I was applying....well, and my references I guess. I was so terrified that I wouldn't get in. Then, I would have to tell everyone. I felt like I might be letting everyone down. I was told that the program was very small and only a small number got in.


Before I knew it, I saw the response from the Department of Psychology...my heart raced. Heath had told me over and over again that I was a "sure-thing." I let out a big breath and opened it...


The first line read, "I am pleased to inform you..."

That was all I needed. I don't think I have ever even read the letter in its entirety.

I was excited, proud, and still a bit scared of what I was committing to.The program is a Masters of Science in Industrial and Organizational Psychology (MIOP). If you aren't familiar, it is like Business and Psychology got together and had a baby. It is applying the scientific method to business processes, like training, evaluation, job analysis, selection, recruiting, etc.

The program is predominately online; however, it did require that I have a two-week residency on the campus. I remember thinking that the two-week residency was the downside of the program. I was wrong.

I kissed my babies, shed a few tears, and headed out. Heath came with me for the Orientation.

I was nervous. Could I really do this again? Did I remember anything from statistics or research methods?

Regardless, it was official. It was time to put my big girl panties on and do my best.


We mingled with many people the first night, reviewing the keepsakes in the alumni center. The sense of pride that the employees and students have for that school? Wow. It was hard not to get wrapped up in it all. Before I knew it, I was feeling very proud as well. I drank the purple Kool-Aid.

First, Manhattan, Kansas is a pretty neat place. It is like a really big small town. I went for a run on campus in the first week and loved everything about it. Second, the people are friendly and the instructors love what they do.

They only selected 12 for my class. They were from all over the United States - California, Washington, Colorado, Iowa, Oklahoma, and of course Kansas.

Anyway, the questions I get all the time are 1) How was it away from the girls, and 2) Was it as hard as you expected?

Yes. It was hard without the girls. I spoke to Lucy on the phone one night and cried when she uttered those little sleepy words, "Goo-bye, Momma." It was pretty hard. But, the majority of the time I didn't have much down time. I was in class all day, doing homework, doing work, networking, or sleeping. Alone time was unheard of, except for that one run I took on campus (the first night). The most "free-time" I had was spent with classmates. As you can imagine, group work is important. So, I made it a priority to get to know these people. I didn't have much time to talk on the phone or even just stop and think about anything...

Heath did come to visit a couple of times though and brought me flowers. :) He is a good hubby. I truly think that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Yes - some purple pride. EMAW. ;)


And, was it as hard as I expected? Yes and no. It is tough...or rather, vigorous and challenging. But, I feel pretty confident in my abilities and my education. Heath was always wondering what I was doing with my time, since I was busy a lot. I would just send him texts like this...

Overall, I had a wonderful experience in Manhattan. Great people, great school, great city, and so on. I am really proud of what I accomplished there so far and look forward to continuing the program. I can't help it, family; I am proud of this school! It represents a big life choice for me and it's a choice that I am incredibly proud of.

Wish me luck as I continue this path! Please wish Heath luck as he helps me! This is a family effort after all. :)

Who knew? EMAW afterall...

Surprise!

Yep. I am the one who urinated on that stick. :)

If you are still somehow missing it, I'm pregnant! :)

I have been dying to tell you all! After my close family and friends, I wanted you all to be the first to know - my loyal readers! Almost every post that I am "loving" I want to tell you about the pregnancy. Or, I want to mention how tired or nauseous I am. You remember all of that, right?

The truth is, we were scared to tell right away. I had a really bad urinary tract infection at the beginning of my pregnancy. They can cause miscarriages. Scary! So, we kept the news to ourselves for a long time. Then, I continued to have bladder issues. Although I probably do have a condition called Interstitial Cystitis (IC), the pain that I was feeling was probably only amplified by my growing uterus laying on top of my bladder. As my uterus lifts out of my pelvis, I am getting some relief. The good news is that the Cystitis won't affect the baby! Perhaps I will tell you more about the IC later...

I bet you want to know how far along I am and when I'm due. Well, I am 11 weeks along and due September 14th. I know two other ladies due the same week. :) It'll be crazy!

I feel like my tummy is starting to "pop" though and I simply won't be able to hide it anymore. As the warm weather peels my baggy jackets and sweaters, it will only become more obvious. I seriously do feel like I am bigger with the second one. My abs...or lack thereof...did nothing to keep my uterus under control this time.

Here I am after I found out, at 5 weeks.

I was already about 10 pounds up from when I got pregnant with Lucy. I'm a statistic!!!  Oh well, nothing I can do now. My arm placement isn't the most flattering either. :{ Hopefully I won't gain as much this time...

I can't wait to share this pregnancy with you all. It is still unbelievable, as the beginning stages of pregnancy often are. Wish us luck with #2! :)

Scary Times: Part 6

Let's all cross our fingers that this will be the last installment of the "Scary Times" posts. Deal?

When you last heard from me about Lucy being sick, we had just gotten out of the hospital for the second time. Lucy had an incision about 3 or 3.5 inches long in her groin area. Two stitches were holding it together, loosely, and a tube was sticking out of the top. The tube looked just like a McDonald's straw, minus the red or yellow stripe. It was held in by one stitch.

We also had to give her antibiotics and probiotics throughout the day.

Oddly enough, we were able to put her in the bathtub with the tube in. Won't water get inside her? No idea. But, that is what they told us to do. "Cleanliness is close to Godliness," Dr. A said.

The idea of the loose stitching was that the "sore", if you will, needed to heal from the inside out. Dr. A said that he couldn't sew it closed, or the abscess would just come back. That made sense. One week went by. We went in to get the tube out. The cultures of the abscess had come back - more staph infection. We weren't surprised; that is what we had all expected.  He cut the tube stitch and pulled it out in, like, two seconds and we were on our way.

In the next few days the incision continued to kind of ooze. Gross - I know. Then, where the tube was, some skin started to emerge out of the "hole". When we went to get the stitches out, Dr. A said it was scar tissue. He took the other stitches out and told us that we would have to burn Lucy's scar tissue off. Now, doesn't that sound fun?

Sorry - can you sense my annoyance through my sarcasm?

We took home some liquid nitrate sticks. They looked like long Q-tips. Any skin it touched, it would burn. Daily, Heath and I had to hold Lucy down (it seriously took us both!) and would burn some of this scar tissue off. Lucy hated it. When I asked Dr. A if it hurt her, he said it would cause "mild pain" and "sting a little"...whatever that meant for a 21 month old. I dreaded that time of day. Bandage changing and "burning" was the worst.

The good news was that we no longer had to go see Dr. A! As long as the incision looked good in two weeks, we didn't have to follow up! Music to our ears.

Next thing we knew, the incision looked really odd. "The skin isn't touching anymore, right?" I asked Heath. After further staring and thought, we made an appointment with our regular doctor, Dr. B.

It had popped open. You could tell Dr. B hated telling us this. She went on to tell us, "All children aren't all this bad! I promise!" Then she told the nurse, "At this rate, they aren't going to let me deliver any more!" 

Then, she left to call Dr. A from across the hall. Heath stood by the door, trying to hear the conversation. We were nervous that she would be sending us back to Children's. "Please no," we both pleaded. We heard the conversation end. Dr. B conversed with her nurses and they started gathering supplies. The nurse carried in gauze, sterile water, and bandage tape. Whew! No needles or thread!

Dr. B said that Dr. A shared her same regret with this entire situation. It just never seemed to end! My thoughts were, "You're telling me!?"

We did a week of wet to dry gauze changes, while continuing the burning of scar tissue. Fun times. These dressing changes had to take place twice a day and they were more challenging to get in place. The tape made Lucy's groin so red and it started to actually scab in some places. We tried our hardest to move the tape around and not tape in the same place. There just weren't that many options. We looked for a better tape to use than what the doctor gave us. We found a paper tape; but, it still irritated her leg, if we could get it to stick at all. Ugh!

A week later, I took Lucy back to Children's. We had just finished the burning and the incision was looking better. Dr. A said it looked good too. I was worried; could you blame me?

The outcome - no more dressings! No more tape! No more burning! Just neosporin and a band-aid. I was excited! Oh, and no more Children's Hospital! Yay! Nothing personal; I just don't care to see any of them ever again...

I used all of my excitement to go shopping. It was therapeutic to say the least! :) I even splurged a little and got Lucy the cutest brown, suede boots.

Everything is going well and we are both impressed with how much better the incision looks. Now that Daycare is able to see it, without a dressing covering it up, they didn't think it looked too good. I had to kind of laugh to myself, because it was so much worse before.

Now, please join in my excitement (and prayers that it's true) as I type these two little words...

The End.

Crickets are Scary

With our house being decked out with Halloween decor, Lucy has become fully aware of what a spider is. Until now, she simply paid little to no attention to anything creepy or crawly. However, now, she points out fake spiders yelling, "Pider." Then, she pretends to cringe with fear.

A real bug may be a different story...

I picked Lucy up from daycare one afternoon and we ventured toward the car. It is a pretty descent walk to the car, about a city block's distance. On the sidewalk, Lucy pointed out something and yelled, "pider!"

I leaned over to see a dead Asian beetle, you know those orange lady bug things.  I said, "No. That is a beetle, Lucy."

About that time a cricket jumped on the sidewalk, right next to Lucy.

Her head jerked in the cricket's direction. Her eyes locked on it and widened.

"Ahhhhhh!"

And, she took off running down the sidewalk. She was running on her toes and her arms pumped at her sides. I've never seen her run so fast; she almost fell forward with all of her momentum.

I laughed. I could barely run after her; I was laughing too hard.

I tried to explain that it was a cricket and that it wouldn't hurt her. It didn't do much for comfort. I told her to grab my hand and "Mommy will keep you safe."

The rest of the walk, even once we were at the car, Lucy looked over her shoulder every ten seconds.  She just knew that monster cricket was going to follow us home. :)

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope everyone stays safe tonight as they venture out for trick or treating. Watch out for those crickets! And, remember to watch that traffic while walking door to door. :)