Responsibility Advice

I recently had a mother of one contact me about going to grad-school and parenting. She wanted to know "how I do it." I laughed. Who the hell am I to be giving any advice? For all she knows I go home, starve the girls, and lock them in their rooms...but, I was humbled. I didn't really know what to say. I let the email sit in my inbox for a couple of days before replying. When I did reply, this is what I said...

---------------------------

It is great to hear from you. And, when it comes to being a multi-tasking mom, I seriously hear you! I had such a hard time transitioning to my "new life" and that was back when I wasn't going to school. So, having a second baby and then applying to Grad School was basically terrifying. I completely understand your concern! I do have some advice, but I want to make sure I am completely clear - I still fail. I try. I try to be the best at everything that I can. But, some days the house is a complete wreck. Some days I order a pizza and don't cook supper. Some days I am so stressed to the max that I get short with Lucy and Olive, cry in the corner, and then beg for forgiveness. It is tough. I just don't think that we can be "the best" at it all. I've tried several times and I have failed every single time. Just when I think I am getting into the swing of things, I realize that my relationship with Heath is suffering, or my friendships. Or, that I can't find time to just sleep, or think, or be by myself for two seconds!

I digress...

So, here is my advice and feel free to ignore me.

1) Forget your life pre-baby
I think my greatest milestone as a new mom was finally letting go of my "old life." I had a hard time. I kept thinking that everything was going to be the same, just with a baby. It literally took me about 2.5 years to figure this out. Things will have to be adjusted and concessions will be made.

2) Lean on your hubby
Heath is fantastic. But, I like to take a little bit of credit for getting him there. :) I am always an open book with him. I tell him when I am reaching my limit. He has really helped me pick up the slack and has come to know what really bothers me. I can't stand dishes in the sink; but, dust can wait until I have time...That kind of stuff. He has learned that there will be concessions when it comes to housework. So, a few rooms in our house (our bedroom and the toy room) will never be clean. We have finally come to terms with this.

3) Schedule "you" time
When I was a new mom I felt like if I wasn't spending every second of my free-time with Lucy, then I was a bad mother. I was so upset that I was already missing out on so much during the day, with her at daycare. But, I soon realized that I was having major burnout. I would try to do too much and then get short with Lucy. I was with her, but the shared time wasn't good. So, I schedule homework days, or homework nights, or even days away. Don't ever feel guilty for doing this - ever. It's not the quantity of time, it is the quality of time.

4) Schedule "us" time
Seriously, along with the previous one, take time to spend with your hubby. It is amazing how silly "the dishes" or "taking out the trash" can seem when you both are in good graces. But, if you are both stressed, you will end up bickering about something silly, something not even worth fighting about. So, once a week, if possible, take a night to go out, or order a movie, or something with just the two of you. It will make the household chores seem like less of a priority, which really, aren't they?

5) Remember this: When you die, no one will remember you for how clean your house was
You will be remembered as a wife, a mom, and so on. I learned this from my Uncle Matt and it is so true! Pick your battles and try to remember what really matters.

6) Indulge

Get that coffee from Starbucks. Buy those earrings. Every once in a while, we all need something to keep our sanity. Mine is the sweet, sweet flavors of a large diet-coke with vanilla from Sonic. :) It fuels me to get homework done. Seriously.

7) June Cleaver doesn't exist!

I kept thinking I should be able to do it all. But, to be honest, I don't think it is possible. I seriously don't. Something has GOT to give. Mine is the housework and sleep. Yes - I still get overwhelmed with it and hate when people come over and things aren't perfect. But, I have just learned what really gets under my skin and what doesn't, and prioritize accordingly. During the week, no housework gets done. I cook supper, do dishes, and try to pick-up the girls' rooms. The weekend is for housework and maybe not all of it. These Pinterest and Blogging moms are struggling too, they just aren't as honest (or they don't work full-time, or go to school). Sleep? Well, I love it so much. I catch up on the weekends or take naps with the girls. :)

9) Also, remember this: You are not alone. 

And, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Before we know it, our kids will be big and we won't know what to do with ourselves.

10) Having two is not much more work than one, as long as your husband helps out. Keep that in mind for future babies. :) The biggest obstacle is going back to those toddler days, where you can't take them anywhere for long periods of time (grocery shopping sucks, etc.).

I hope I helped in some way. Those are the things getting me by. But, my classes started up again this week and I'm already stressing. That's okay; I will just pick up my Sonic drink on the way home and wait until the girls go to sleep until I start homework.



Heath is also fantastic. He really is. I could never do any of this without him. He is a great husband and father. He supports me emotionally and he supports my education. He picks up so much of my slack. I am forever grateful for him. I hope that everyone has that type of support!

You will do great. If not, you will figure it out. I promise. I am always here to listen.

------------------------------

Any advice that any other parents would give to a new mother, trying to take on other responsibilities? Besides calling them crazy... :)

The Mother & the Teacher

The mother and the teacher. No, not the daughter. You see, Lucy is teaching me sometimes much, much more than I am teaching her. When you see yourself or hear yourself through your child's eyes, well...it is humbling, amazing, heart-warming, a bit terrifying, and sometimes seriously upsetting.

You know those typical stories of the parent who pushes their child to be like them or follow the path that they want? You know, Varsity Blues, Ice Princess, She's All That - that kind of stuff.

"I don't want your life." - Dawson Leary, or whatever his name was on Varsity Blues

or

"You can't quit. This is your dream!" - Mother
"No, mom. It's your dream." - Daughter

I watch those and think, "Pssshhhh...silly parents. Who is so blind that they push their kids like that?"

Well, I may not be that extreme. But, I do see myself pushing Lucy to do things a certain way, say things a certain way, and so on. Then, I am somehow brought back to reality....usually with a metaphorical punch to the gut that leaves me reeling.

What do you see when you look at this photo?

I imagine that most of you will note the pure pride and joy that is plastered across that beautiful face of Lucy's. She is so happy. I bet she really was! She loves crafts and especially painting. I even chuckle a bit when I think about that goofy grin of hers. But, when I see it, I am struck with guilt. My stomach does one of those flips and my heart sinks a bit. I feel a small failure pumping through my veins.

You see, Lucy brought this particular piece of art-work home with her. She was proud. I told her that I loved it; but, truly, I was a bit concerned. It was a blob of black on construction paper. It had bits of green and purple too. But, together, the three colors created a dark, border-line creepy picture. When I looked at it, I saw sadness. I acted happy for Lucy, and well, I really was proud that she painted it herself. I couldn't help myself though; I told her that next time she could use happy colors, like yellow or red - bright and cheery. She completely shrugged me off...like the complete jerk that I was. Good for her.

Then, about a week later, this picture was posted on her preschool's Facebook page. I am a jerk. Look at the colors she had to work with...green, black, purple, and orange. No yellow. No red. I sunk into the awful lesson that I had just learned. I had judged. I had judged my own child. Here I am, thinking that she has some type of deep-seated sadness that came out through 10 minutes of painting time. But, does that child look sad to you? She had no other color options. I bet she didn't even mind. She did what she could, with what she had. Shame on me for assuming anything else...

Today I looked at Lucy and realized that she is growing so fast. There are so many things that I was not and am not prepared for as a parent - things I didn't even think about! But, I am learning and trying my best. I guess that is all we can do...

I forgave myself. The guilt remains; but, I'm okay with that. It's a good reminder...

Lesson learned.
-----------------------------------------------

Whomp, whomp. I know. Sorry to be a downer. I think it is a nice reminder to take things lightly. But, most importantly, I want the girls to know that I recognize that I am making mistakes. I get it. They will also make parenting mistakes. It's inevitable to fail in life in multiple ways. The most important thing is to recognize it, learn from it, and move forward. :)

I will try to continue with the blog posts as much as possible. Occasional posts are better than none, right? My thoughts exactly. We are doing better. I still have my sad days. I have a lot of stressful days (grad school). Overall, though, we are doing well. We are happy and healthy and I couldn't ask for anything more. Welcome 2014! I hope you all have a wonderful year, filled with love and happiness!

Graduate School

Heath graduated last December, with his MBA. As soon as he had finished, we started really talking about me going back to school and getting my graduate degree. The plan was to wait until he was done, before I started. It was the best decision financially. Plus, I don't know if you noticed, but I was busy havin' babies...

If I'm being completely honest, I was a little scared to apply to graduate school. I had K-State picked out since I was 22 and hadn't applied. It was terrifying. What if I got rejected? I didn't think that my ego could bare a blow like that. Terrifying.

After making a zillion excuses, Heath and I talked myself into it.

I'm sure Heath hated me for those months prior. I was a mess. I would basically have a conversation with myself.

"Should I wait until the girls are older?
No. That is silly. There is no time like the present.
I mean, if I would have started two and a half years ago, I'd already be done!
It will be tough with the girls. But, Heath, you did it. I can do it too.
What if I fail? What if I struggle being a mom and a student?
Although, it is important to show the girls that school is a priority too."

This was the inner dialog escaping from my brain and blurting out my mouth.

Needless to say, after a $50 application fee, I was obligated to at least submit a Statement of Objectives, etc.

After several versions and editing sessions, it was ready to mail.

I hadn't told anyone but Heath that I was applying....well, and my references I guess. I was so terrified that I wouldn't get in. Then, I would have to tell everyone. I felt like I might be letting everyone down. I was told that the program was very small and only a small number got in.


Before I knew it, I saw the response from the Department of Psychology...my heart raced. Heath had told me over and over again that I was a "sure-thing." I let out a big breath and opened it...


The first line read, "I am pleased to inform you..."

That was all I needed. I don't think I have ever even read the letter in its entirety.

I was excited, proud, and still a bit scared of what I was committing to.The program is a Masters of Science in Industrial and Organizational Psychology (MIOP). If you aren't familiar, it is like Business and Psychology got together and had a baby. It is applying the scientific method to business processes, like training, evaluation, job analysis, selection, recruiting, etc.

The program is predominately online; however, it did require that I have a two-week residency on the campus. I remember thinking that the two-week residency was the downside of the program. I was wrong.

I kissed my babies, shed a few tears, and headed out. Heath came with me for the Orientation.

I was nervous. Could I really do this again? Did I remember anything from statistics or research methods?

Regardless, it was official. It was time to put my big girl panties on and do my best.


We mingled with many people the first night, reviewing the keepsakes in the alumni center. The sense of pride that the employees and students have for that school? Wow. It was hard not to get wrapped up in it all. Before I knew it, I was feeling very proud as well. I drank the purple Kool-Aid.

First, Manhattan, Kansas is a pretty neat place. It is like a really big small town. I went for a run on campus in the first week and loved everything about it. Second, the people are friendly and the instructors love what they do.

They only selected 12 for my class. They were from all over the United States - California, Washington, Colorado, Iowa, Oklahoma, and of course Kansas.

Anyway, the questions I get all the time are 1) How was it away from the girls, and 2) Was it as hard as you expected?

Yes. It was hard without the girls. I spoke to Lucy on the phone one night and cried when she uttered those little sleepy words, "Goo-bye, Momma." It was pretty hard. But, the majority of the time I didn't have much down time. I was in class all day, doing homework, doing work, networking, or sleeping. Alone time was unheard of, except for that one run I took on campus (the first night). The most "free-time" I had was spent with classmates. As you can imagine, group work is important. So, I made it a priority to get to know these people. I didn't have much time to talk on the phone or even just stop and think about anything...

Heath did come to visit a couple of times though and brought me flowers. :) He is a good hubby. I truly think that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Yes - some purple pride. EMAW. ;)


And, was it as hard as I expected? Yes and no. It is tough...or rather, vigorous and challenging. But, I feel pretty confident in my abilities and my education. Heath was always wondering what I was doing with my time, since I was busy a lot. I would just send him texts like this...

Overall, I had a wonderful experience in Manhattan. Great people, great school, great city, and so on. I am really proud of what I accomplished there so far and look forward to continuing the program. I can't help it, family; I am proud of this school! It represents a big life choice for me and it's a choice that I am incredibly proud of.

Wish me luck as I continue this path! Please wish Heath luck as he helps me! This is a family effort after all. :)

Who knew? EMAW afterall...

Big Girl

Lucy is 3 years old.

It is blowing my mind. She is such a big girl. Although, she is just a baby in my heart...the young lady that she is becoming is keeping me on my toes!

She likes clothes, shoes, bows, nail polish, makeup, lip stick, jewelry, sparkles, coats, scarves, fixing hair, and above all the color pink! She is a girly girl to the core.

Yes. She is still a kid though and plays in the dirt, in her cavatini, and lays on the floor.

But, she is looking at her Highlights magazine! She also looks through our mail, clothing catalogs, and my gossip magazines. Oh, and forgive my uncleaned floors...

She tries to stay little, like her sister. But, the poor thing is just getting too big. She is thinning out too; her little baby fat is disappearing...

She is playing with "big girl" toys too. She has a ton of Barbies and accessories now! I have even let her play with the Barbie shoes and small purses. 

Now, instead of the continuous moping around about my first baby growing into a little girl. Let's celebrate her achievements.

Lucy Milestones:

• She is using the potty all the time now.
• She is even waking up in the middle of the night to have us take her potty, with no wet morning pull-ups.
• She ate her entire soft taco the other night! Yes. This is worth celebrating. The only thing that she really goes to town on is canned Spaghettios. Yuck.
• She can and will paint your toenails. Just ask Heath.
• She has memorized two prayers.
• And, she has become the best big sister ever! She is always helping Olive and trying soothe her when she is upset. I have never seen such love! My heart melts. Related post to come later.
• She does the Goof-bot (the robot dance Goofy does on Mickey Mouse club house). 
• She can spell 'Lucy' and 'Mickey Mouse.' 
• She can even write her name, if she is looking at an example.

I just don't know what I'll do when she starts preschool next fall. Bah!  

Flashcards

"Lucy - what is this picture of?"

"A kitty-cat ball."

"Yes. You are right. That is a kitty-cat ball. We also call it yarn."

"Yarn?"

"Yep. Yarn."

"Say you're sorry!"

As we try to teach Lucy the difference between acceptable behavior and unacceptable, it gets kind of tough. We recently found ourselves saying, "Lucy - say you are sorry!" a lot. I mean a lot.

Lucy hits Chico. "Lucy - say you are sorry!"

Lucy throws food on the floor and I have to pick it up, "Lucy - say you are sorry!"

Lucy steals a toy from another child. We make her give it back. "Lucy - say you are sorry!"

It goes on and on. Then, I recently read in a BabyCenter.com article that we shouldn't be doing that. She isn't really learning or understanding the point behind saying you're sorry. They recommended that we apologize for her.

Lucy hits Chico. "Lucy is very sorry for hitting you, Chico."

Lucy throws food on the floor and I have to pick it up, Heath will say, "Mommy - Lucy is very sorry that she threw that."

Lucy steals a toy from another child. "Lucy is very sorry for stealing your toy."

At first, she gave us weird looks when we would do it. Then, she started to echo us. As soon as we would apologize for her, she would apologize too.

Now, after only 1 1/2 weeks of trying this, she is apologizing on her own! :)  I realize the smiley face is bittersweet. Yes - she is apologizing on her own. But, she is doing bad things to have to apologize for. Oh well, it's the little victories!

I just had to share our little victory with you all too. It certainly made a difference and I think she is starting to understand the meaning more.

Honest or Terror?

I entered DayCare to pick Lucy up the other day. Lucy was nowhere in sight, as I scanned the room. I heard a little commotion in the corner and heard a whine. I knew the whine didn't belong to Lucy; but, when I looked over there I could see Lucy's top-knot ponytail peeking over a playpen.

I walked over to the corner, to see one of Lucy's little friends sitting on the floor, whining. We will call her "Mary" for story's sake. Lucy was standing beside her.

Lucy looked at me, wide-eyed. I opened my mouth to ask what had happened and before I could, Lucy raised her arms up beside her head, palms up, and said, "I push Mary."

It was followed by a shoulder shrug, as she pulled the side of her mouth into her cheek. Then she dropped her arms, letting them slap her thighs, as she stared at Mary.

I was a little stunned at her immediate confession. I asked her if I understood correctly, "You pushed Mary?"

She nodded, just as wide-eyed as before - no remorse.

I, of course, started to tell her that pushing was very bad and to apologize to Mary. She and Mary hugged it out, as Lucy said she was sorry.

I asked, "Is Mary your friend?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do we push our friends?"

[blank stare]

I finally just said, "No. We don't."

As we started for the door, the director told me that Lucy always fesses up to it, "She always tells us what she did."

I thought, well that is good. At least she is honest. But, then, I remembered the wide-eyed look I was given. Is she honest? Or, does she not realize it's bad, so she doesn't think to lie? Honest or just a real terror?

Time will tell...Lucy the self-proclaimed pusher.

Translation Please

Right now Lucy is talking up a storm! She just babbles and babbles. Some of it I understand. And, well, some of it, I have no idea what she is saying.

The other day at the lunch table, it was just Lucy and me.

She looks and me, smiles, and says, "I boopt."

I asked her, "You pooped?"

She was completely unimpressed with me, "No. I boopt."

I scanned my brain and the room..."boopt? boopt. boopt?"

I finally asked, "Your boot?"

Lucy was annoyed. This time, she lowered her eyebrows and said it a bit louder, "I boopt!"

I had no idea. So, I decided to tell her, "I'm sorry, honey. I can't understand you."

She then, put her hand to her belly, opened her mouth wide, and said, "ughhhhhck." It was an obvious, mocking burp sound and then she stated, "I boopt."

"Ahhh, you burped!"

She was pleased, "Uh-huh! I bowpt."

I had to laugh. She was bound and determined to tell me about it. She actually knew to mock herself! I was proud, but promptly told her to say "excuse me." :)

She is growing up so fast! :)

Learning Colors

The other night Heath had to do homework; so, it was up to me to keep Lucy busy and non-interrupting. :)


I decided to put some of my pinspiration to work (inspiration from pinterest.com). Here was my inspiration:

I thought we would have fun finding small toys or objects, that were Lucy-non-eating-friendly. Then, we could work on her color association and say the color aloud.

But, let's be honest; who has a random, sectioned box just lying around the house? Not us. So, I improvised. I thought that Lucy's stacking cups would be perfect!

I wondered about the teal blue and the pale blue; but, Lucy did amazing with them! :) We just called them both "blue."

We then gathered small toys from around the house, a lot of which ended up being plastic, play food.

One item at a time, I would hand it to Lucy and tell her the color. Then, she would put it in the right cup. It took her a while to realize that we were sorting them by color. Once she caught on though, she was on a roll! :)

Here, she is putting in the purple rabbit. Sorry about the blurry picture; she moved too fast!

And, now, she is dancing and cheering. I was cheering her on with every correct placement. She would give me high fives. :)

We did this twice, all the way through. She then got a little bored and moved onto other stuff. That was to be expected.

When we were done, she was so proud though!

I highly recommend trying this with your toddler. It was a great learning tool and she really enjoyed it. We will probably play it often now! :)

Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone! 

Terrible 22 Months?

Lucy is taking this "terrible twos" thing to a whole new level.  Apparently she misunderstood and thought since she was 22 months this month, she should start with the "terrible twos."

When I told my daycare provider how Lucy was acting, she said, "She's too young for that." 

My thoughts exactly. Perhaps we are getting a jump start on this and it will be over sooner as well. :) 

The other morning I tried to get Lucy ready for daycare. She was a mess. If I tried to brush her hair, she batted my hand away. She wouldn't let me brush her teeth and kept yelling, "No!" Even putting her in the car seat was a struggle...literally.

I think Heath considered it to be a bad mix of inpatient, tired Cori and stubborn, tired Lucy.  I tried to tell him that she was just being testy, and perhaps she was a bit sleepy. That would help explain the extreme testiness.

He then got a taste of it that evening. Lucy was acting up at the dinner table. She was spitting water out and laughing. I told her, "No. Don't spit water." She laughed and continued. This went back and forth a few times, until I threatened to take the water away and ended up doing so. She thought that was hilarious and spit in my general direction.

Heath told Lucy to "tell Mommy sorry."

Her response? "No!"

This was followed by an eyebrow dip and a stern head shake. He insisted that she tell me sorry and she insisted on not doing so...I think he was finally starting to understand what I was talking about.

You see, Heath doesn't discipline Lucy much. He is completely wrapped around that little girl's finger. If she wants to eat bananas, pineapple, and peaches for supper, so be it. If she wants to sleep with us, while sleepily kicking Heath in the head and pulling my hair, so be it.

He'll see. Pretty soon, he'll see. I have a feeling the terrible twos have just only reared their ugly head. We have a year or more to go of unpredictable fits...in the grocery store, while putting her in the car seat, in restaurants...

I simply pray for patience. Please Lord give me more patience. Remind me to speak calmly and try to explain myself to her. I know she doesn't understand; but, it is good practice.

"I love you; but, you can't have that."
"I love you; but, you can't scream in the grocery store."
"I love you; but, you need to eat your ham first."

Please Lord give me the patience to not just turn the radio up when she is screaming in the car seat, after miles of pleading.

I feel like a bad mom admitting that I don't handle her fits well. I don't like raising my voice to her. I don't want her to think I just yell all the time. I try very hard to be cognizant of my own behavior during the fits. But, sometimes, I can feel the annoyance. Perhaps I need practice? Perhaps I will learn how to deal with these situations as time passes?

I usually do pretty good during the first five minutes or so. I just need to learn how to prolong that...

Heath does well at trying to avoid any melt downs by distracting her with toys or television. I kind of forget about the "distraction" option. I am worried though that it won't work some day or that she will become spoiled and not actually learn to behave in public.

How do or did you all handle the unavoidable terrible twos? Fits in the middle of a restaurant meal? The flopping on the floor, rolling around, crying tantrums?

As of now, when I feel frustration, instead of yelling I usually huff. "Ugh!" 

Unfortunately, when Lucy is frustrated, she has started huffing too. It only reiterates why I shouldn't raise my voice!

Gift Opening

There are a few gifts under our tree already. I started shopping on Black Friday and somehow managed to wrap about 30 presents and put them under the tree.  It has been tough though. We have been trying to keep Lucy away from the presents. She doesn't necessarily want to open them; but, she wants to play with the bows or rip the tags off. So far, so good...
Last night, we were watching Rudolph and the Misfit Toys. A commercial came on of a boy opening a Christmas present. Inside was a toy dinosaur. The boy cheered and starting playing.

I heard a gasp.

I looked at Lucy, just in time to see her eyebrows raise, her mouth open, and a look of epiphany come across her face. She turns toward the tree and takes off in a sprint across the room. She picks up a gift from under the tree and looks at me with an anticipating smile. I had to laugh.

Then, unfortunately, I had to tell her no. I tried to explain that they weren't for her and she had to wait for Santa to come. She didn't seem to mind the explanation too much. She was easily distracted when the show came back on.

I think she is starting to understand gifts. :)

Pre-Lucy Thoughts

Each child is different and each one may need different 'tactics'!

Of course all moms like to give advice and let me be the first mom to tell you that my way works best. haha. Just kidding. But, here you go...

1. What kind of diaper bag did you use? Purse-type? Diaper-bag type? Did your husband carry it? Did you use the straps to hold it on to the stroller? Did you also carry a purse?

First of all, wowsers! That is a lot of questions. That type of fast-firing of questions is how I imagine a chihuahua would talk, if it could. :)  Anyway - I had a larger, black diaper bag. I wanted one that didn't have pastels and animals on it. So, my husband researched for "the best" one he could. It was online and had the best reviews. It looked more like a luggage-type bag than a diaper bag or purse, or at least I think so. My husband did carry it, since it was so ambiguous. We did use the straps for the stroller; we also used the straps that hold it onto the shopping cart. It was really helpful! Most of the time I still carried a purse, unless we were just running to a family members house or something, then I just threw my stuff in the diaper bag.

2. When did you fit back into your pre-baby pants? Did you buy larger pants or stay in maternity pants after baby?

I think it is unrealistic to think you are going to just hop back into your pre-baby pants. However, you are talking to someone who gained 54 lbs while pregnant. :[ I know those types of "freaks-of-nature" exist (no offense to those of you out there); but, I was NOT one of them. I didn't get back into my pre-baby pants until, like, 6 months later. Before that I had to buy new, big clothes (boo!). Just remember that everyone is different and hopefully my story makes you feel a bit better about it! haha.

3. Favorite brands of diapers? Wipes?

We quickly became Pampers fans. We tried Huggies once when Lucy was a newborn and didn't like them. We never tried any other kind after that. For wipes, we prefer Huggies. That is weird; I know. We buy both though. Huggies are just a bit thicker and don't rip as easily when you pull them out. An argument for Pampers: Children's hospital uses Pampers - must be good! :)

4. Where did baby sleep those first few weeks (or longer)? Your bed? Bassinet? Crib? In your room or his/her own?

Lucy was our first, and it's me we're talking about here. So, the paranoia was through the roof! SIDS scares the poop out of me! I didn't want Lucy sleeping away from me for at least a month. It ended up, she slept in our room for 2 months before moving to her own room. She slept in a pack-n-play, in the shallow insert they have...hard to describe. The next one may move to his or her room faster; who knows? Lucy had a hard time soothing herself. Or, we had a hard time letting her soothe herself, something like that...

5. How long until baby made a public appearance? Where was baby's first public appearance?

Our family visited a lot immediately; so, we didn't really need to leave the house a lot. Since Lucy was born in the middle of winter, we were also encouraged to not let her be around a lot of people (flu!). I think her first real public appearance was to the doctor and back. I think we made a trip shopping all day when she was 6 weeks and that was a big deal - and tough! I honestly didn't feel like getting out too much; I was still really self-conscious and sleep deprived!

6. Most useful baby item? I ran into a girl shopping for a baby gift in Target & she was looking at hooded towels. I said they were useful but should have thought of more useful items!

It is really tough to say what was the most useful. We have had a lot of items that we really needed to get by. The most would probably have to be the boppy. It helped me support Lucy when I breastfed and she was able to nap in it. It comforted her; she felt like she was still being held. It was our infant savior!

7. Did you find out the baby's gender beforehand?

Yes. I wanted to be able to plan out clothing and colors and a name. I like to plan and be organized. Experiencing birth and seeing Lucy's face was enough excitement for one day. We wanted to have something revealed throughout the pregnancy. :)

8. How long was your hospital stay? Did your hospital provide any cool services (special meal, spa treatment, etc)?

We were there technically three nights, since I went in at 9 pm and was in labor all night. It seemed to be the perfect number of days for our first baby. The hospital had a special menu for the parents, where Heath was able to eat too. It was nice. :) No spa treatments though. :(

9. Were you induced? Have a c-section? Use drugs? Epidural? Or au natural the whole way?

I went into labor naturally, a couple of days before she was due. I was lucky. I was also able to have her vaginally, which is what we wanted. The labor was long and slow - 36 hours; however, Lucy did really well and they never felt the need to rush it or do a C-Section. My doctor actually claimed, "Lucy [was] loving the birthing process." I was offered something to "take the edge off" while I waited for the epidural. I said yes; I would take anything they thought I could have at that point. It really did help a little. Then, I got an epidural at 4 cm and about 26 hours in. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

10. Do you like when friends come to the hospital to congratulate you or would you prefer that time just for your family (extended or immediate?)?

I really liked everyone being there for Lucy's birth. However, it was a little overwhelming. I felt at my absolute most vulnerable. I just wanted to shower and cuddle my baby. However, two hours after and a shower later, I was ready to show her off. Most visitors respected our exhaustion though and kept their visits somewhat brief. But, I think I preferred the visits in the hospital to the ones when we got home. Visitors during the first couple of weeks at home really made it tough to get into a routine or to take naps. :[ Everyone is different though.  Perhaps adjusting with a second child is easier - ?

Have a good Tuesday! And, please mothers out there chime in all you want! :)

She Works Hard for the Money

Too hard sometimes. :(

I am very often reminded at work, when I look at Lucy's pictures on my desk, that I only spend approximately four hours with Lucy every weekday.

How sad is that? Does it make you want to cry? Well, it does me sometimes...I am missing out on so many things! I could start naming off all of the wonderful things about DayCare (teaches social skills, independence, sharing, etc.). However, I could also name a few, sometimes selfish, reasons for her to be at home (bonding time, individual attention, consistent potty training, day trips, etc.).

Either way, it seems you can never win...(wahhh-wahhhmp).  That was my Debbie Downer sound, by the way.

I don't want to start a debate; because, obviously there are benefits to both. I just want to know if the grass sometimes appears greener on the other side to all of us. Full-time working moms: do you ever wish you could stay home with your child(ren)? Stay-at-home moms: do you ever wish you had a career and extra money?

"Ahh...Man!"

When your little girl goes to daycare all day and spends the weekend with family, it shouldn't be surprising that she comes home with a new phrase. However, Lucy has clung onto, "Ahh...man!"

Heath and I have decided that we say it, but only sparingly. She had to of picked this up from daycare or her cousin, Alex. The amazing thing is, she uses it in the right context. It's hilarious. Heath and I enjoyed the other evening when Lucy's personality was really starting to shine through!

She was wound up. I don't think it was from sugar, but that we were all together playing. She was all over the living room. On one pass, she cut the corner too sharp and hit her arm on the coffee table.

"Aowww....aowww....aowww...," she repeated looking at us.

"Did you hurt your arm?" Heath asked.

"Aowww," was the only response.We both laughed.

"You're okay," I told her.

Seeing that we weren't going to come running to her little arm's rescue, she gave herself a kiss on the arm. We laughed, as we continued to watch her roam the room. She started to run a little too fast and past the ottoman. Her toe caught the carpet and down she went. She just disappeared behind the ottoman as we heard a light thud.

Silence.

We waited to hear if she was going to get upset.

"Ahhh....man!"

We laughed until we almost cried. I can't wait to see what she'll say next!

Broken Hearts

I broke Lucy's heart this last weekend. In the process, she broke mine too.

Since we have three stories to our home, we often times have to "cage" Lucy into one area. This particular evening, Heath had closed our bedroom door to corral her in our bedroom and master bathroom. I was in the bathroom painting my toenails.

Lucy seemed particularly interested in my makeup bag on the counter.

I tried averting her interest by giving her other random things to play with: tampons, a brush, my mascara. Nothing was working. She kept reaching for my makeup bag.

"Lucy. No."

She would look at me with a blank stare, then immediately go back up to her tippy toes, reaching for the bag.

"Lucy. I said, no!"

She dropped back down to her flat foot and flopped her reaching arm back down to her side. She then grabbed my brush and lifted it to her hair, moving it back and forth - as if to act very innocent.

I looked down to paint another nail and then wham! My makeup bag came tumbling down. It was unzipped; therefore, random containers and eyeliner pencil shavings went flying through the air, then covered the floor.

"Lucy! What did I say? I said, no, no, no!"

Don't take my exclamation points wrong; I wasn't yelling. Was the voice stern and frustrated? Absolutely.

She watched as I squatted down, trying to find and pick up items and throw them back in the bag. Then, I discovered what I had anticipated - my blush. It was crumbled into a million pieces.

I let out a huff.

I pointed at it, showed it to Lucy, and said, "Look what you did. You broke it."

I threw it in the makeup bag and looked up just in time to see the saddest face I had ever witnessed.  Her brow line dipped, her eyes were scrunched, and her bottom lip was pushed out to the max. Her arms were at her sides and she just stood there in her little pajamas, with her belly protruding her pajama pants.

The tears came slowly and she only let out the tiniest wail. Her heart was broken.

My heart? Well, it didn't take long and it was broken too. I felt awful.

I shoved the makeup bag out of the way and opened my arms to her. Without thinking twice, she fell into them, hugging me tight. I immediately started telling her how sorry I was.

"I'm sorry baby. I know you don't understand."

All I could imagine was that mean uncle on 'Home Alone' saying, "Look what you did, you little jerk!"

I felt horrible. Reflecting on it, I really didn't get hard with her; but, she must have sensed my irritation. She is getting so smart that I sometimes forget that she is still just 17 months. She may know what 'no' means; but, she doesn't understand that if she pulls my makeup off the counter that it could break.

While we hugged on the bathroom floor and I apologized while rubbing her hair out of her eyes, I think our hearts both healed. It took her a few minutes to forgive me and it only took one tear for me to forgive her.

This discipline thing is going to be harder than I thought. I can't wait until she can fully understand.

"Melmo" Addiction

Lucy is officially addicted to "Melmo".

What is that, you ask? It is Elmo from Sesame Street. Lucy, so lovingly, calls him "Melmo!"

It all started when Heath and I discussed Lucy watching television. As I've mentioned before, we weren't too keen on the idea of her watching television. The studies say that it isn't good for her. But, in the words of our doctor on the topic, "sometimes you have to shower!"

Needless to say, Lucy watches television sometimes. Heath and I went back and forth on what was good for her to watch. SpongeBob? Not so much. Sesame Street? Probably. So, we searched Netflix and found several episodes.

Each episode has a small portion of Elmo's World - Lucy's favorite! She sings the song, dances, and yells "Melmo" at the t.v. when it comes on. She loves it!

Elmo's World is the only thing that got us through our 12+ hour trip to and from Texas. May I please add that I never care to see Elmo's World: Wild, Wild West ever again, in my entire life!!?

To be honest, with Netflix on our iPods and iPhone, Elmo has saved us lots of times. Whenever we are in public and there is a major breakdown, Elmo flies in to save the day. AKA - We've created a monster! Now, whenever she sees my phone or one of the iPods she begins to chant, "Melmo, Melmo, Melmo!"

Since she is nearing the tantrum stage, she hates being told, "No." She will throw her head back, wail, rub her eyes, and occasionally flop on the floor.

We've decide to intervene. I think we need to call A&E...she has a problem. Intervention anyone?

To end this post, I wanted to add something funny that I saw in Walmart. It made me laugh. I should get it for Lucy, for when she gets older. :)

"It's Melmo!"

The Winds are Changing

The Lucy household is in for some changes in the coming months. We are approaching the age of potty training and binkie removal. I cringe as I type those.

Potty training? I assume it is a lot harder than it seems. I, for one, have always been that person who would be shocked when older children weren't potty trained and would ask other people, "Shouldn't they be potty trained by now?"

Now, I just might have been putting my foot in my mouth all of that time.

I'm nervous.

What if Lucy has a hard time with it? What if it takes forever? She is in daycare, as you know, so the consistency will be a little difficult. And, to be honest, TMI, she has become a little inconsistent in the timing of messy diapers.

I've been told by several people:

"It isn't a big deal."
"Girls are easier than boys."
"I had mine potty trained before they were ___(insert unbelievably early age here)__."

It is a lot of pressure. I just don't want to start too early or start too late. Because according to my Granny, a cousin of mine was started too early, was potty trained for a while, and then reverted back to messing her pants. (haha - no, it wasn't Hannah.)

BabyCenter.com says that you shouldn't start until they are at least 18 months; but, people keep asking me when we are starting and why we haven't started yet. :{ I have to sadly say...I'm a "going by the book" kind of gal, for the most part. I was the youngest in my family, so I didn't really get to experience all of this stuff first hand. All I have are the answers from different mothers (which are always different), or references, like my doctor, BabyCenter.com, or What to Expect....

For Lucy's 18 month "birthday"? She is getting a big'ol potty chair. :) If for nothing else, then to sit on...naked. :)

We'll see how it goes. I'll be sure to let you know how hard or easy the transition is for Lucy and us. Watch - it will be really easy and then our next child will be super difficult (as my mom claimed it was with my sister and me).

As for binkie removal? Ugh...we really need to start weaning her. We've been trying. In fact, a couple of nights ago, I almost put her to bed without it! When I gave it to her, I realized that she hadn't had it the entire night! It was a small achievement. :) Perhaps it will be easier than we thought too...

My biggest worry with it? Is that we use it for this:

Is that awful? haha. Heath calls it "the plug."

Screaming in the grocery store? Oh, just get "the plug."

If you are interested in this particular pacifier, they sell it on Amazon.com for a decent price. :) I think it's great. haha.

The winds are changing...I just don't know if I want to put up my sail up yet or not. :{

Lucy's Ready. I'm Not.

We play with Lucy's baby dolls at home. She feeds them with a spoon. She puts them in the high chair and stroller. We have tried to teach her how to love her babies.

Last night, we were sitting in the living room. I had just pulled chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. I was blowing on one of them, trying to dodge the reaching Lucy hand coming at me. In between blows, I was chanting, "Hot, hot, hot."

Lucy began to mock me, whispering, "Haaa, haaa, haa."

Finally it was cool enough and I gave Lucy her bite. Yum. Chocolate chip cookie. Wait, "Lucy! No! Bad girl!"

I watched as Lucy stuck her chocolaty tongue out and scraped the cookie onto the floor with the side of her index finger.

One dish towel later, I was scrubbing the floor, the side of the couch, and Lucy's face, all covered in chocolate. She promptly took the towel away from me, wiped her babies mouth, the couch, and the floor as well. Alright - how could I stay upset with that? :)

She then proceeded to use the dish towel as a blanket. She went around the room, wrapping up every doll or stuffed animal. Once I figured out what she was doing, I tried to help her. She settled on carrying around a stuffed pig the rest of the night. He would come unraveled, then she would bring him to me or Heath for "re-wrapping."

Heath and I watched as she rocked him, hugged him, and even put him in her chair "to sleep." When she laid him down, she said "shhhh" and "night-night." Then, she leaned over and kissed him on the nose.

I teared up. It was the cutest and sweetest thing I had ever seen. Heath and I just kept looking at each other, beaming with pride.

I said, what everyone is now thinking, "I think she is ready for a baby."

Then I thought, "I'm not though!" haha.

We still need more Lucy-alone-time. Either way, it is nice to know that any future babies will have a wonderful bigger sister in Lucy. :)

And, this is where the pig slept all night -

We tried to get pictures of Lucy holding him and rocking him; but, she wouldn't sit still for us. These were the best, blurry images we could get, haha -

Motherly? Yes. Model? Not yet, anyway. :)

Ten Years

Ten years is a long time? No?

When I look at what has all happened to me in the last ten years, it's easier to understand. However, when I think about ten years being almost half of my life, thus far, it seems like a very long time.

Today, Heath and I have been together for ten years. Holy cow.

First year together

Still learning about one another and our crazy quirks

He would visit from college to support me :)

We were blessed with a God-son

Goofing off, in college together

Learning to be "adults" ;)

Husband and wife

Praying to become "Mommy" and "Daddy"

Thanking the Lord for our Blessings

Continuing on with this crazy life!

Proms, graduations, college, a house, chihuahuas, new cars, a wedding, remodeling, and a baby Lucy later...and, we are still so happy together.

Here is to the next ten years, hunny! Let's hope it brings us more blessing (babies!) and maybe even a winning lottery ticket. I can dream can't I? :)

I love you Heath.

Bursting with Pride & Animal Noises

Ahh, yes. This may border a post of the typical mom, telling you how awesome her child is. However, bear with me, as I try not to do that...

Lucy loves books. She gets them and brings them to us, ready for us to read. Lately, she keeps bringing me books with animal pictures. Last night I read a five page book probably 20 times!

"Curly the pig goes - oink, oink, oink (insert awkward snorting noises here)."

After the 20th time through, we were finally able to move to another picture book of animals.

I started reading the one word pages, "Lion."

I looked at Lucy and asked, "What does a lion do? Does he rooooaaaar?"

I of course held my hand up like a claw. She smiled.

"Duck. Quack, quack, quack."

Lucy indulged me as I somewhat formed my arm into a "chicken-wing" and flapped it.

"Bear. Raaawrr.."

I paused and thought, "hmm......that certainly sounded a lot like the lion from before. That was probably a little confusing for her."

I continued, "Tiger. Raaoooaawwwr."

Okay, that was a little bit of a tiger and a bear. Oops. This book was really testing my animal calling skills.

Next page,"Giraffe....um,.....yeah, giraffe." I had no sound for that one.

Next page, "Sea Lion..umm......."

I finally asked, "How about we read something else?"

Nope - Lucy literally grunted at me and wanted me to continue.

At the end of the book I was happy to see an elephant. Classic. None of these odd, soundless, exotic, animals.

I immediately pursed my lips together, pressed my nose to my bicep, flailed my arm, and made a big elephant wail.

Lucy took the most enjoyment in that one. She took her arm, flung it in the air, and tried to mock the sound.

I could have burst with pride. Animal pride? :) haha.......corny, yes - I know. I was proud nonetheless.

It is crazy how proud I am of her for the smallest things. She is just learning so much and growing so fast. I know it is simply a part of her development; but, I still feel like she is the smartest girl in the world. Ahhh...enough with that though. I won't be that mom. haha

Have a good Tuesday!