The Mother & the Teacher

The mother and the teacher. No, not the daughter. You see, Lucy is teaching me sometimes much, much more than I am teaching her. When you see yourself or hear yourself through your child's eyes, well...it is humbling, amazing, heart-warming, a bit terrifying, and sometimes seriously upsetting.

You know those typical stories of the parent who pushes their child to be like them or follow the path that they want? You know, Varsity Blues, Ice Princess, She's All That - that kind of stuff.

"I don't want your life." - Dawson Leary, or whatever his name was on Varsity Blues

or

"You can't quit. This is your dream!" - Mother
"No, mom. It's your dream." - Daughter

I watch those and think, "Pssshhhh...silly parents. Who is so blind that they push their kids like that?"

Well, I may not be that extreme. But, I do see myself pushing Lucy to do things a certain way, say things a certain way, and so on. Then, I am somehow brought back to reality....usually with a metaphorical punch to the gut that leaves me reeling.

What do you see when you look at this photo?

I imagine that most of you will note the pure pride and joy that is plastered across that beautiful face of Lucy's. She is so happy. I bet she really was! She loves crafts and especially painting. I even chuckle a bit when I think about that goofy grin of hers. But, when I see it, I am struck with guilt. My stomach does one of those flips and my heart sinks a bit. I feel a small failure pumping through my veins.

You see, Lucy brought this particular piece of art-work home with her. She was proud. I told her that I loved it; but, truly, I was a bit concerned. It was a blob of black on construction paper. It had bits of green and purple too. But, together, the three colors created a dark, border-line creepy picture. When I looked at it, I saw sadness. I acted happy for Lucy, and well, I really was proud that she painted it herself. I couldn't help myself though; I told her that next time she could use happy colors, like yellow or red - bright and cheery. She completely shrugged me off...like the complete jerk that I was. Good for her.

Then, about a week later, this picture was posted on her preschool's Facebook page. I am a jerk. Look at the colors she had to work with...green, black, purple, and orange. No yellow. No red. I sunk into the awful lesson that I had just learned. I had judged. I had judged my own child. Here I am, thinking that she has some type of deep-seated sadness that came out through 10 minutes of painting time. But, does that child look sad to you? She had no other color options. I bet she didn't even mind. She did what she could, with what she had. Shame on me for assuming anything else...

Today I looked at Lucy and realized that she is growing so fast. There are so many things that I was not and am not prepared for as a parent - things I didn't even think about! But, I am learning and trying my best. I guess that is all we can do...

I forgave myself. The guilt remains; but, I'm okay with that. It's a good reminder...

Lesson learned.
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Whomp, whomp. I know. Sorry to be a downer. I think it is a nice reminder to take things lightly. But, most importantly, I want the girls to know that I recognize that I am making mistakes. I get it. They will also make parenting mistakes. It's inevitable to fail in life in multiple ways. The most important thing is to recognize it, learn from it, and move forward. :)

I will try to continue with the blog posts as much as possible. Occasional posts are better than none, right? My thoughts exactly. We are doing better. I still have my sad days. I have a lot of stressful days (grad school). Overall, though, we are doing well. We are happy and healthy and I couldn't ask for anything more. Welcome 2014! I hope you all have a wonderful year, filled with love and happiness!

Dear...

Dear Lucy...know that when I recorded videos of your tantrums, I did it out of love. :) I just wanted to let you see what you will have to deal with someday. Also, I want you to know that I earned every one of those gray hairs that my future self will have.

Dear Mom...I think it is absolutely awesome that you have rescued two dogs from being put down. I wish I could do more too. Buddy (her new chihuahua-wiener dog mix) is absolutely adorable! I think I love him more, knowing that he is a rescue pup. How could anyone not want him?!

Dear Grandny...I cried last night again, over something touching and completely ridiculous to cry over. It made me think of you and smile. :)

Dear Facebook...Although you are kicking out baby photos, belly photos, and baby updates left and right, I am simply not fulfilled. I need lazier friends to update their statuses more often. See what you can do about that.

Dear Lucy...You are a princess. You will always be a princess. And, princesses can achieve any dream they choose!


Dear Olive...I am sorry if you don't like chicken wing sauce. You seem to kick a lot when I eat it. I am hoping those are kicks of joy.

Dear Heath...I think that you secretly put Lucy in bed with us sometimes, just so when it's just you and me it feels roomier. 

Dear Sonic...Thank you for giving us half-priced drinks at 4:02 pm the other day. I really appreciated that. And, the strawberry slush was delicious! :)

Dear Lucy...when I take pictures of you in "time-out," I do it out of love. :) I am hoping that this spot, on top of the toy box, does not become a routine thing. Hopefully I am documenting some long, lost childhood memory of yours that won't be so clear. Also, I think that mommy and daddy are pretty awesome for letting you sit with Aurora and Miss Alex, the puppy purse, in time-out - enough said. :)

Dear Pinterest...I sure do love you sometimes. You give me the most helpful, daily tips and you make me motivated to craft and organize my home. However, you make me feel completely inadequate as a homemaker. I have also discovered that I am not that crafty...whomp, whomp.

Dear Weekend...Can you please pick up Friday-day as a regular staple? That would be lovely. Think about it.

Second Child

Being a second child myself, I understand. You always have hand-me-downs - clothes, shoes, bows, toys. You don't have many pictures of yourself alone as a child. Or, you don't have many pictures of your childhood at all.

I'm on the left, obviously. Nikki was always much more put together than I was. I was a wreck of a dirty child. And, yes, I have both of my hands down my pants. This was a common thing. Lucy does it too! haha.

As the second child, even rules get handed down to you, although you haven't even had the chance to break them yet.

Your milestones are often compared to the older child. I apparently took longer to walk, talk, and potty train than my sister. She got all of the good stuff first - a new bike, her own telephone line, a television in her room.

You are probably thinking this is similar to the "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" episode of The Brady Bunch. Don't fret; it won't be. You see Jan Brady was the middle child. Something that I've only studied in school and watched on television. Although the second, I was also the youngest. That means along with the bad, you get some good.

You get to learn from your sister's mistakes and see your parent's reactions for punishment. Nikki's teenage rebellion years were coupled with my uneventful years in 6th and 7th grade, which automatically made her seem like "the trouble child."

And, I got all of the fun stuff a few years after hers had aged. I remember her pastel colored bike being two years old when I got my brand new, neon colored bike. She was pretty upset...although I paid for it when her and our friends made fun of me. I was the only kid in town with a Murray bike, everyone else had Huffy bikes.

On Nikki's birthday, I also got a present from my grandparents, probably the most unfair youngest child tradition of all.

I was also pretty spoiled rotten by our grandpa. :) I miss him so much.

The second child is something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. For the most part, Olive will get Lucy's hand-me-down clothes. I know that we will get her new items; however, we have totes and totes of baby clothes that Lucy wore just a few times. Olive will wear them. (Sorry future Olive reading this; it is financially the best decision. Perhaps all of the money we saved on baby clothes went to fabulous, family vacations or your college fund. Think of it that way. ;) ) 

Olive, no doubt, will have twice as many toys as Lucy. Since she will get to play with Lucy's (sometimes) and her own. She will of course get her own at Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, etc.

I vow to try my hardest at taking just as many pictures of Olive, writing just as many blogs about Olive, and filling out Olive's baby book as much. However, I understand with two children, it's going to be tough! I am going to try though...really.

I hope to give the girls equal presents, as to squash jealousy. However, Olive will not get presents on Lucy's birthday, or vice versa.

I really hope to make my girls' childhoods similar in parenting and spoiling. It is hard. Some things you just can't help. But, there are perks to each stage - oldest, youngest, or middle - at least in my opinion. I just want to focus on her as much, yet not neglect Lucy. It's a hard balance that I will undoubtedly discuss in the future. Stay tuned...

I wanted to leave you with this photo from Pinterest.com. It made me laugh...children of the 90s.

Our ABCs

My house has given it's best. I'll give it credit. It tried very hard not to let Lucy take over. But, without the playroom finished, the poor house lost.

The living room was the first to go. My leather ottomans with lids, used to be filled with blankets and our electronic gadgets. Now? Toys. Each cabinet has baby locks on it, and we have to use a swing door baby gate to go in and out of the room (because of stairs - ugh!).

Now, the kitchen has succumbed. We already had the highchair, the safety latches for the cabinets, and a baby gate. We also had a small, ride-on car in the corner. The cherry on top? New ABC magnets on the fridge - lots of them!

When I first brought them home, Lucy was napping. So, I used the two pack to spell out our names, our last name, the dogs' names, and even some random words. The magnets were neatly ordered just as I, being super anal, would have it. :)

Heath: "You know they won't stay like that."

Me: "I know!"

I said this in a slightly annoyed tone. He knew that I was being a bit particular about it, and there was a good chance that it would continue as long as the magnets stayed.

To my credit, they have been on the fridge, post-Lucy play, for four days now and I haven't reorganized them. Every time I walk by the fridge though, I see the beginning and the end of our last name. The middle? Who even knows where those letters went? They might possibly be under the fridge. I know it's only a matter of time until I put our names back together. It's for learning purposes right? :{

Anyway, enough with my antics...

Here is something else about ABCs that has been circling the Blog and Facebook worlds.  I thought I would join in too.

Cori's ABCs

A - Age: 20 something

B-Bed Size: Queen. Sometimes I wish it was a king (no offense Hun!).

C-Chore you hate: Sweeping/Moping - it is a wonder it ever gets done.

D-Dogs: Our two chihuahuas, Chico (black, 6 yrs. old) and Squirt (tan, long-haired, 5 yrs. old)



E-Essential start to your day: hitting the snooze button. I am not a morning person!

F-Favorite color: dark red

G-gold or silver: I like both; but, lately I've been into white gold and silver.

H-Height: average

I-Instruments you play: Trumpet, French Horn, and little Tuba. I also rocked the bells in 4th grade. :)

J-Job Title: ---------

K-Kids: Lucy, my beautiful little girl

L-Live: to the fullest! :) In the Midwest...

M-Mom's name: Mom, and Mimi :)

N-Nickname: Momma, Mum, Sweetheart, Babydoll, Cori Dee, and occasionally, the dreaded Corky. :{

O-Overnight hospital stay: only when I had Lucy. I stayed three nights! One of them I was in labor all night.

P-Pet Peeve: Lots! Improper grammar (like double negatives!), when people say "a hunerd" instead of "a hundred", when people say "warsh" and "warsh-cloth" instead of "wash", loud talkers at movies, and when people's jeans get stuck on the tongues of their tennis shoes (not in purposely, Justin Beiber kinda way).

Q-Quote from a movie: "So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day." - The Notebook

Photo from IMDB.com

R-right/left: righty

S-Siblings: an older sister

my sister, my mom, and me

T-Time you wake up normally: the alarm starts going off at 6:20 am. I usually drag myself out of bed around 7, depending on if I need to take a shower.

U-underwear: Umm, yes....? Victoria Secret?

V-veggies you dislike: Spinach, raw onions, peppers, squash, tomatoes

W-What makes you run late: sometimes Lucy, most of the time it's shear laziness and being slow

X-x-rays you've had: teeth a couple of times and my hip/pelvis once

Y-Yummy Food You Make: tonight we are having grilled chicken wraps! :)

 Z-Zoo animal: I love to watch the monkeys and the polar bears

Happy Hump Day!

Junior High Wrestling

As I've mentioned before, I have a close family. Family is my number one priority. Therefore, I have become close to my cousins, Hannah and Rex.


My cousins, me (pregnant), and my sister

My cousin, I've mentioned before. She is 5 1/2 years younger than me and she has always been like a little sister. We've even had people think we were sisters! :) Now that she is getting older, our age difference is becoming less and less noticeable. I look forward to years and years of spending time together and someday, our children spending time together. :)

Our youngest cousin, on the other hand, is 10 1/2 years younger than me. And, I think it goes without saying, he is a boy. I'm about as close as I can be to him. But, I just don't think hanging out with his 25 year old, female cousin, and her baby girl is his idea of a good time...haha.

We love spending time together as a family though, as we did last Friday for my grandpa's birthday. Us grand kids played pitch while the 'adults' watched the great-grandchildren. ;) It's funny how I still don't quite think of myself as an adult at the family events...although, the 'kids table' is no longer in existence.

Anyway, I try my hardest to be a part of their lives; Heath and I both do.

Although my youngest cousins' junior high wrestling meets are usually scheduled before I get off work, we decided to take off work early for his last meet. I had to at least go to one! I wanted to watch him, as I had heard so much about it. Plus, I heard he was pretty good at it too - kickin' butt and takin' names! :) You saw him! He is taller than all of us at just 14!

I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't even know the rules. I didn't know what the ankle bands were about or the point system. It was all foreign. The only thing I did understand was the pinning and blowing of the whistle. Although I did somewhat expect the referee to hit the mat and count to ten or something...

Rex wasn't up for awhile; so, we got to watch a few other matches first. It was sad...

Since it was junior high, some of the boys looked like, well, men. They were tall, muscular, had deeper voices, and were ready to jump right into high school. Then, there were the other boys..the ones who hadn't yet hit their stride. They still had some 'baby chub' on them, not much muscle, and looked like their skin was smooth and, well, hairless. Now, you tell me, is it fair that these two wrestle?

According to my husband, "Yes - that is what they sign up for."

I watched one boy, who was obviously not matched well, except for weight alone, get his face smashed into the mat repeatedly by a kid who was probably a foot taller than him.

Sad...It broke my heart.

I know that I shouldn't feel that way; because, it is almost like I have pity for them or something. That's not how it is though. I just felt sad. It was unfair......to me. I know the weight says something totally different. And, so did all of the people there.

To be fair, this is how I've always felt about fighting - boxing, MMA, wrestling. It's just soooo personal. I hate watching somebody get physically put in their place. It's sad to watch. So, when you substitute these people for junior high boys, it only made it worse. Although, wrestling isn't at all close to the craziness of MMA!

I didn't mind watching my cousin though. He was pretty evenly matched, and he pinned his guys with some, I would guess, standard wrestling moves. There wasn't any mat, face shoving. He almost made it look easy actually. What a stud? haha. Lucy thought so too! She only clapped for my cousin, and none of his fellow school mates.

Anyway - what do you think about wrestling? Would you want your son to do it? Or, does your son already wrestle? Do you think that I am being hyper-emotional, per usual?

Finally, for my family's enjoyment, and anyone else who knows my Grandma, here is something I thought was funny. In the picture of us cousins, above, Granny is in the background talking some random guy's ear off. See below:

She cracks me up! haha.

Have a good weekend!

Renovations: Entertainment Center Make-Over

We are continuing the basement renovation and I’m beginning to plan the placement of furniture. While, thinking about the layout and design, my favorite part, I decided to change our 10+ year old entertainment center.

This entertainment center is on its last life, as far as I’m concerned. It has come so close to being taken to the ‘dump’ on several occasions. I am trying to think back to why we saved it exactly and I really can’t think of a reason. However, in our basement it’s been…just holding my old, non-flat screened, college TV.

And, since it has been so resilient, of course we are keeping it again! It just needs a little ‘tuning’ up, if you will. It’s getting pretty rough.

So, at work last Friday I made an executive decision concerning our entertaining friend. I thought to myself, "I'm gonna paint it!" I immediately googled how to paint particle board. I knew that paint wouldn't stick to that shiny exterior. So, what could I do?

According to....hmmm, I think it was 'HowTo.com', I should sand it first. It would give the board some 'grit' and the paint would then stick.  I shared my idea with Heath and there you have - we had a plan!

According to the site, I should use a 220 grit sand paper, which I started with. It worked; but, I was going through it like crazy! And, I felt like it was taking fore..ev...er! So, I eventually used 150 grit and that worked great! It made it go a lot quicker too!

Thank goodness we have a sander; I was planning on doing the whole thing by hand. THAT would have been a nightmare!

After I removed the shelves and doors, and I sanded, Heath wiped it off for me.

It looks weird, huh?

Now, on the saw horses, it was ready for a coat of white paint. We decided to use a flat paint, since that is what the rest of the basement is.

Here I am painting. My father-in-law was helping by touching up the corners, where my roller couldn't reach.

It took two coats to really cover it; but, I went through a third time, just to be anal. We were very pleased with the results!

And for all of you who are scrolling up and down, here is the comparison. :)



The only part that looks bad, is the lower, right cubbies. That is because there will be doors that cover that area. So, I wasn't too concerned about being particular on sanding or painting. And, there was like a faux, cardboard back, which was brown. The brown kept coming through the paint; so, it is tinged yellow-ish. Again, not a big deal; because no one will see it.

After some more thought, I probably could have painted it a fun color; however, I think with all of the toys in the room, and red carpet,  it could get a little cluttered. Overall, I'm glad I stuck with white! :)

The total approximate cost of this project was about $15.