Then, I’ll Feel Pretty.

I specifically remember being in junior high, looking in the mirror and thinking, “After I get my braces off, then I’ll feel pretty.” 

I got them off and felt like a million bucks. Soon, I shifted my thoughts though…My body was alright and all; but, I didn’t have abs. I believed, “If I could just do a bunch of sit-ups each day, then I’ll feel pretty.”

As a young teenager, I felt comfortable enough with myself to not obsess over my insecurities. I didn’t hide in the locker room, or shy away from situations where I was the center of attention. But, I still felt like I could look better. I wasn’t like the models on TV or in magazines. And, I wasn’t “as skinny” as so-and-so was…

Senior year, butt dimples appeared. I was crushed. At 18, I started hiding behind clothes in the locker room and I became very insecure about my increasing weight. I’d let go of this idea of abs. Now, if only I could have a toned butt, then I would feel pretty.

It was that summer after senior year that I caught a glimpse of the back of my legs in a mirror. And, I was sick to see…hail damage – as I’ve heard it so offensively called. My hamstrings were not toned “enough,” and I swore that I wouldn’t wear shorts again, until I “fixed it.” Once I toned my legs, I would feel pretty.

The freshman 15 in college showed up, and then perhaps 15 more…

I cried and cried to Heath about my insecurities. If I could just lose the weight again, then I would feel pretty.

At 20, I started weight watchers. I lost the weight. I felt great. But, those love handles… My body profile was just so thick. I needed a tiny waist. If I could manage to lose just a few more pounds, then I would feel pretty.

The next few years, I tanned in tanning beds. I dyed my hair. I got mani/pedis. I bought new clothes. But, I would still obsess over what to wear, to hide my thick middle area. And, that’s when my “bat wings” showed up. When I waved, my arm skin would jiggle. I swore off tank-tops. 

Then, I got pregnant. All of a sudden, those silly insecurities flew out the window. They were laughable, actually. The next two years would be the hardest for me to ever endure in regard to my own body image. I gained a lot of weight – 54 lbs actually. And, I was not blessed with a forgiving body at that. I got stretch marks in places I didn’t even know one could get stretch marks. Maybe more water would have helped; but, my doctor assured me that it is mostly a genetic thing. Awesome. Sorry, Lucy and Olive…

Accepting this new me, which could never be changed back was difficult. I held on to the idea for so long that I was somewhat in control of my looks. Just some hard work could make it better, if I became motivated enough to do it. But, stretch marks? Well, hello there! Welcome to my life, we’re gonna be together for…ev…er. 

At 24, I lost the weight and was very close to my pre-pregnancy weight. But, my body was not the same. This was the time when I wished I had worn the shorts, worn the tank tops, felt comfortable in the body that I look back on now with appreciation…and sadness…

As I aged, and more babies came alone, I thought that weight loss, and clear skin, and better hair, and tan skin, and wrinkle cream, could all make me feel pretty. If only I could fix this or that, I’d feel pretty…

Now, these may sound like the ramblings of someone who suffers from body image issues. Truth is, I don’t. Yes, I go through at least ten outfits any time I’m going out. Yes, I watch makeup tutorials on YouTube, and died a little when I had to search for “makeup tutorial for under-eye wrinkles.” Yes, I dye my hair. Yes, I sometimes stare in the mirror for ten to fifteen minutes before jumping into the shower, just assessing what I got going on. And, yes, I watch Botched on E! and wonder what Dr. Dubrow would do to “fix me up.” 

But, it isn’t an unhealthy obsession for me. I truly believe that my feelings are not uncommon. I may be vainer than some, but I am also less vain than some. Nevertheless, I think to some level many people feel this. For moms, I feel like it is much more amplified. Perhaps I’ll go into that another time…

This past summer, I certainly spent too much time focusing on my body image issues. After being put on an anxiety medication, I started to gain weight very quickly. I have always eaten like garbage for the most part, but am pretty good at maintaining. It was all that baby weight following me around. This time though, on this medication, was the first time I gained uncontrollably. It was the middle of bathing suit weather and I was carrying around much more weight than my clothes or I were used to. Then, out of nowhere, I started to get marks on my face that may or may not have been perioral dermatitis (a form of eczema). It was summer! And, here I was packing on layers of clothing and makeup. I was supposed to be in shorts and tank tops, with no makeup. It was a low for me.

Soon, I got my hair dyed a new color and got a new cut. And, my doctor gave me some medicine to clear up my face disease. I was feeling better. One day, as the kids sat in the bathtub, I studied myself in the mirror. I thought to myself, “Now, if only I could lose this weight, I would feel pretty. I would feel content. Yes, I’m old. But, this weight is really what is dragging me down.”

And, I realized - It is always something.

I think back to my 18 year old self not wearing shorts and I want to shake that girl! Or, the girl who wouldn’t wear tank-tops. Or, the girl who thought she needed abs to feel confident. I can’t even put into words the disappointment I have with her – my past self. 

As I age, I am getting better and better at these things. I think about them less, and I rely on my personality to state my worth. It is hard though, because I still want to look nice. I still want people to think I’m pretty, as well as nice, fun, kind, humorous, etc. But, it’s amazing how age, and kids, relist your priorities in so many ways. I just didn’t expect my own insecurities to be among of them. 

As I gain some sort of wisdom from aging, I keep telling myself. It’s always something. I need to remember that young girl with the metal smile, the girl hiding in the locker room, and the girl layering clothing. Remember how silly she was! And, I know that when I’m 60 (God willing), I’ll look back at this 32 year old and think, “Damn, girl! You were foine!” ;)

While I am still insecure, I am okay with it. It is a part of my life. More than ever before, I can shrug off my insecurities. Yes – I still have random break-downs, where “I have absolutely nothing to wear!” and times when I call myself fat or chubby. But, I don’t find it messing with my happiness, and I don’t let it keep me from being me (most of the time). 

It’s always something…so, I might as well enjoy what I have, while I have it.

I Ran a 5K Once...

Hopefully this isn't something that my future self will say. I hope to run more than just one 5K in my life. But, for the time being, I finished one and for me that is a huge accomplishment.

As you all know, I sometimes run for a short workout. Said run is usually one, possibly two, miles. It never goes longer than two miles. Three miles? Ha.

I'll be honest, I never really used to like running. But, I think it just took me this long to figure it out - if that makes any sense. I've learned to pace myself, adjust my breathing, etc.

But, with this run and the photos that were taken, I've learned even more:

• I can do something if I really put my mind to it.
• Awesome Possum is a great team name. People loved it. They really did!

•  Blue doesn't glow under black lights (told you, Heath).
• A glow necklace might snap when curved tightly - it might just snap while looped through the laces on your shoe.
• Watch where you are walking. Mud holes can be anywhere, even downtown Lincoln.
• Sitting on the cement post race will leave sweaty butt prints.
• You can get rid of said butt prints by "accidentally" spilling water on it.
• My post-run food of choice is cheese crackers with peanut butter.
• I tend to hold my thumbs like Marsha Brady when I run. :(

•  I don't look good running...at all.

•  Hannah is a great cousin. Alright, so I already knew this. But, she stayed with me the whole run and would cheer me on. She was really the only one to congratulate me and acted proud of me. :) It made me feel really good. Heath? Couldn't care less. I had to fish for compliments...even then, they weren't real keepers...

And, doesn't the lady in pink look like she wants to pass me? We just crossed the finish line lady...get a grip.

Here are some other pictures of the night:

 Heath finishing. Good form, Hunny!

Jason finishing, like he just freaking ran a 40...

Tom and Jari finishing, together. Aww...of course Jari is smiling. By the way, Jari, I am super impressed that those glasses lasted the whole race!

Looking good, considering...

Post-race team picture! Tom and Jari...get a room...just kidding...haha...

The guys got flagged down to take a picture because of their awesome shirts....awesome possum shirts that is.

And, now, my favorite pic of the whole thing.

Jason - why are you so wet? And, why are you two in an embrace? Runnin' bros...Heath, this is the most genuine smile of the whole night! Haha

I encourage anyone to do this. Push yourselves and your boundaries. I want to do another, just to prove to myself that I can. I ran the entire thing, without walking. I didn't think I could. I did.

We'll see if I can do another soon, before I become too completely out of shape again (although that might have already happened).

Have a great weekend everyone!

Weight Loss Journey 3

Yes. I am on a weight loss journey again. This is my third. Apparently when life throws big changes my way, I gain lots of weight. But, I think baby weight is to be expected. I am just an overachiever and gain 50+ lbs.

My weight loss with Lucy seems like so long ago that I can't remember how long it really took. I know that I was back within 5 lbs in 10 months. So, what can I expect at almost 7 months post Olive? I feel, overall, that I am doing pretty good. I am 4 lbs away from being at my pre-Olive weight. I am 14 lbs away from my pre-Lucy. Darn it. I will get there and stay there someday.

What have I been doing? Mostly I've been calorie counting. It is working and making me lose between a pound and two pounds a week, depending on how much I cheat. Cheating usually involves a night out to eat, where I can't keep my hands off of the salsa and chips, or daiquiris, or Cool Ranch Dorito taco. Mmm...

I have also worked out a little, not as much as I would like. It is very difficult with the girls. I would like to work out after they go to sleep, but it is dark at that time. This summer will be nice. It also isn't warm enough yet to take them out with the jogging stroller. I did a couple of weeks ago, when it was warmer. Remember that? Two days? Oh well, it was amazing. They loved it and I did too, even though I about died! 

I have been stalling lately. So, I've been doing a lot of research on how to boost metabolism and what stalls weight loss, etc. But, I thought the ultimate motivation would be....accountability. It has always been a great motivator for me. My cousin, Hannah, did that already by setting me up on HealthRally: Cori vs. Baby Weight. It allows me to update my few followers on my progress. It puts a percentage to it as well, which helps when I can see the percentage of completion growing.

Heath has also motivated me with the promise of a shopping spree. :)

Finally, I am very, very motivated by a trip to Vegas. This trip will be taken on May 1st - 5 weeks and two days. I have to get in better shape before then! I would ideally get to my goal weight and have the shopping spree before then, or while in Vegas. That would be amazing. So, I am trying really, really hard.

Want to see how far I've come? Of course you do. Everyone loves before and afters! (I may or may not have taken some very formal before photos. I will have to show you those when I reach my goal.)

I know these aren't as good as posed, premeditated photos. That is why some day I might show you the other ones I took. Perhaps I won't be as embarrassed about them when I get to my goal.

I swear my face was chubbier after I had Olive than when I was pregnant!

 I miss my thick hair though... My top-knot used to be so big and thick. Sad, sad, sad.

To wrap this post all up, I hope you guys don't mind me sharing some of my battle with weight in the next couple of weeks. I feel like it is an important part of being a mommy. I think most mommas deal with getting back to "normal" after baby - if in no other way but weight.

Wish me luck! Oh, and I signed up for a 5K at the end of May. I HAVE to take training more seriously! I am gonna die..

Weeks 25, 26, 27 Update

"Who is this person emailing me from I Love Lucy Jean?"

I know; I know. I have been completely MIA. It is probably the worst ever - a 21 day hiatus! Well, first, my boss resigned and left; so, it has been really stressed at work. Second, Heath's grandfather passed away, very unexpectedly. It really threw all of us back...Therefore, it hasn't been the typical month at all. Hopefully things will get back to routine fairly soon.

I owe you three photos of my week updates. However, I only have two.

Scrolling between those photos makes me think two things; either I grew A LOT in just a week, or I should never wear yellow. I am thinking it is the yellow... :{

I also thought I would share this photo of me and my Granny. :) You can see Olive in the photo too. haha.

How far along?
Well, I am almost 28 weeks (27 weeks and 6 days). So, it has been a long while since I've updated you. I have 85 days left, or just 12 weeks and 1 day! Yippee! :) However, I don't know how much bigger I can get!

This big, you say?

Oh yeah. Looking at this picture doesn't make me feel quite as bad about my current state. Whew!


Baby is the size of a...
Well, we went from the length of an ear of corn, to rutabaga (whatever that is), to the length of an English hothouse cucumber, to now a head of cauliflower. In normal terms, she is 14.4 inches long and anywhere between 2 to 3 lbs! :)


Symptoms:
I am super nesting. I don't know how I am managing to find the energy with my busy, stressful days at work; but, I am somehow managing. This results in my feet and back hurting though. I know that I need to take it easy. Yesterday my feet were so swollen! I wore heels to work and then basically was on my feet until I laid in bed for the night...stupid idea.

I am super constipated too. I think I may have told you that I would stop talking about this, and if I did, sorry. I am going to continue. It is a part of pregnancy, for me that is, unfortunately. My doctor thinks that is why I look so big (besides the fact that I just get big, apparently, and my short torso). She literally thinks I am full of poop. haha. It's a nice sentiment. So, every other day of Miralax is supposed to work things out. She also suggested a suppository. Umm...no thanks. I will try the Miralax.

Finally, on another disturbing note, I have fine hairs all over my baby bump. That never happened with Lucy. The doctor said it was hormones and the good news is that they will likely fall out after Olive arrives. Thank goodness. Hairy and sexy do NOT go together in my book...especially on my stomach. Ga-row-ss.

Anything New?
Besides the hair on my belly?...hmmm. I am officially out of all of my pants. That is shocking right? Well, I have been wearing my pants unbuttoned, with a belly band for this long. Now, Olive has dropped and I can't do it. :( I had to go to all of the ugly, maternity pants. I need to get more (since all of my maternity clothes were for winter!). So, if you see me and I look not put together at all, that is why. Besides, pregnant women should never look "put-together." Those who do, completely defy logic and physics.

We got out all of Lucy's old clothes the other day. I went through them and put them all away. I still need to hang a lot up. I loved looking through them, especially with Lucy standing next to me. She kept 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over all of the cute, little outfits. I told her that they used to be hers and she just didn't quite understand. She kept holding them up and saying, "Baby Olive's?" It is really sweet. The nursery is finally coming back together and Heath's ironing board has exited. We are getting there...

New with Heath?
He is really, basically the same. I keep waiting for him to react to stuff the same as me, but it doesn't really work. Olive was hiccuping the other night and I yelled to him, "Heath - Olive has the hiccups."  He just replied, "Oh, yeah?" I waited like five minutes and then finally asked him, "Did you want to feel? She will probably be done here soon."

I guess pregnancy really is an "old hat" for me and it just isn't as exciting for him this time around. :( Besides Lucy is such a daddy's girl (I mean it! It is bad!), that I don't think he can imagine having two little girls crawling all over him on the floor.

The other night, during one of my nesting fits, he mentioned that he was the "primary bottle maker" when Lucy was little. It peeved me pretty good. I think he knew it; but, it seemed unintentional. I remember clearly getting up on my nights with Lucy and making my own bottles. I was really sad that he gave me such little credit when Lucy was an tiny baby. I really thought I took on 50%, if not more back then. Back then, Lucy wasn't a daddy's girl yet. Either way, I thought it was a pretty sad thing to tell a pregnant woman. :(

New with Lucy?
She got to feel Olive kick. She loves it! :) It makes my heart want to burst too. She gets up into our bed, tries to pull my shirt up and puts her hand on my tummy. She will talk to Olive and always uses an even higher pitched voice. It is so adorable; I could just cry. When Olive kicks, she always gasps and tells me all about it. I just know that she will be a GREAT big sister.

She has come to terms with the nursery too. She calls it Olive's room and calls the crib, Olive's crib. I don't foresee any issues with that part. Attention and binkies? That is a-whole-nother story.

Anything else?
Well, we have a 3D/4D ultrasound schedule for July. I can't wait. Olive better still be a girl, or we will have to do a lot more work! haha. 

Talk to you soon. Hopefully sooner than 21 days!

Pre-Lucy Thoughts

Each child is different and each one may need different 'tactics'!

Of course all moms like to give advice and let me be the first mom to tell you that my way works best. haha. Just kidding. But, here you go...

1. What kind of diaper bag did you use? Purse-type? Diaper-bag type? Did your husband carry it? Did you use the straps to hold it on to the stroller? Did you also carry a purse?

First of all, wowsers! That is a lot of questions. That type of fast-firing of questions is how I imagine a chihuahua would talk, if it could. :)  Anyway - I had a larger, black diaper bag. I wanted one that didn't have pastels and animals on it. So, my husband researched for "the best" one he could. It was online and had the best reviews. It looked more like a luggage-type bag than a diaper bag or purse, or at least I think so. My husband did carry it, since it was so ambiguous. We did use the straps for the stroller; we also used the straps that hold it onto the shopping cart. It was really helpful! Most of the time I still carried a purse, unless we were just running to a family members house or something, then I just threw my stuff in the diaper bag.

2. When did you fit back into your pre-baby pants? Did you buy larger pants or stay in maternity pants after baby?

I think it is unrealistic to think you are going to just hop back into your pre-baby pants. However, you are talking to someone who gained 54 lbs while pregnant. :[ I know those types of "freaks-of-nature" exist (no offense to those of you out there); but, I was NOT one of them. I didn't get back into my pre-baby pants until, like, 6 months later. Before that I had to buy new, big clothes (boo!). Just remember that everyone is different and hopefully my story makes you feel a bit better about it! haha.

3. Favorite brands of diapers? Wipes?

We quickly became Pampers fans. We tried Huggies once when Lucy was a newborn and didn't like them. We never tried any other kind after that. For wipes, we prefer Huggies. That is weird; I know. We buy both though. Huggies are just a bit thicker and don't rip as easily when you pull them out. An argument for Pampers: Children's hospital uses Pampers - must be good! :)

4. Where did baby sleep those first few weeks (or longer)? Your bed? Bassinet? Crib? In your room or his/her own?

Lucy was our first, and it's me we're talking about here. So, the paranoia was through the roof! SIDS scares the poop out of me! I didn't want Lucy sleeping away from me for at least a month. It ended up, she slept in our room for 2 months before moving to her own room. She slept in a pack-n-play, in the shallow insert they have...hard to describe. The next one may move to his or her room faster; who knows? Lucy had a hard time soothing herself. Or, we had a hard time letting her soothe herself, something like that...

5. How long until baby made a public appearance? Where was baby's first public appearance?

Our family visited a lot immediately; so, we didn't really need to leave the house a lot. Since Lucy was born in the middle of winter, we were also encouraged to not let her be around a lot of people (flu!). I think her first real public appearance was to the doctor and back. I think we made a trip shopping all day when she was 6 weeks and that was a big deal - and tough! I honestly didn't feel like getting out too much; I was still really self-conscious and sleep deprived!

6. Most useful baby item? I ran into a girl shopping for a baby gift in Target & she was looking at hooded towels. I said they were useful but should have thought of more useful items!

It is really tough to say what was the most useful. We have had a lot of items that we really needed to get by. The most would probably have to be the boppy. It helped me support Lucy when I breastfed and she was able to nap in it. It comforted her; she felt like she was still being held. It was our infant savior!

7. Did you find out the baby's gender beforehand?

Yes. I wanted to be able to plan out clothing and colors and a name. I like to plan and be organized. Experiencing birth and seeing Lucy's face was enough excitement for one day. We wanted to have something revealed throughout the pregnancy. :)

8. How long was your hospital stay? Did your hospital provide any cool services (special meal, spa treatment, etc)?

We were there technically three nights, since I went in at 9 pm and was in labor all night. It seemed to be the perfect number of days for our first baby. The hospital had a special menu for the parents, where Heath was able to eat too. It was nice. :) No spa treatments though. :(

9. Were you induced? Have a c-section? Use drugs? Epidural? Or au natural the whole way?

I went into labor naturally, a couple of days before she was due. I was lucky. I was also able to have her vaginally, which is what we wanted. The labor was long and slow - 36 hours; however, Lucy did really well and they never felt the need to rush it or do a C-Section. My doctor actually claimed, "Lucy [was] loving the birthing process." I was offered something to "take the edge off" while I waited for the epidural. I said yes; I would take anything they thought I could have at that point. It really did help a little. Then, I got an epidural at 4 cm and about 26 hours in. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

10. Do you like when friends come to the hospital to congratulate you or would you prefer that time just for your family (extended or immediate?)?

I really liked everyone being there for Lucy's birth. However, it was a little overwhelming. I felt at my absolute most vulnerable. I just wanted to shower and cuddle my baby. However, two hours after and a shower later, I was ready to show her off. Most visitors respected our exhaustion though and kept their visits somewhat brief. But, I think I preferred the visits in the hospital to the ones when we got home. Visitors during the first couple of weeks at home really made it tough to get into a routine or to take naps. :[ Everyone is different though.  Perhaps adjusting with a second child is easier - ?

Have a good Tuesday! And, please mothers out there chime in all you want! :)

I'm a Statistic!

To be honest, I don't mind it too much. I can handle being a statistic.  It happens to the best of us.

Well, I have been encouraged to do a post about this for about a month now and I just wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say yet, without having a complaint session.  So, here it goes....be forewarned.

What's the statistic you ask? According to BabyCenter.com, 85% of women are about 5 lbs or heavier on their baby's first birthday, than what they weighed before they got pregnant.

I can't be for certain that those are the exact stats without looking it up; but, I remember reading it aloud to Heath and saying, "That's me!"

Is it awful that I take comfort in this statistic? That it makes me feel less bad about still carrying around those 5 lbs?  In my case, it is really about 6.5 lbs...depending on if you go by the doctor's office scale or mine at home. I used to judge my weight on how my clothes fit and that was all. And, now-a-days, I am getting even better at that!  My body has changed and I am losing weight differently than I ever have.  Having Lucy was life changing in more ways than one...

As I have mentioned before, I gained a whopping 54. 6 pounds with Lucy!  I basically stopped all physical activity and ate whatever the heck I wanted, plus a sausage croissant more!  I paid for it too. I was the biggest I've ever been and the biggest I hope I'll ever be (fingers crossed!). I tried to stay active, somewhat, by taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking far away, that kind of stuff; but, wow breathing is so much more difficult when you are pregnant!  I even tried to do some pregnancy yoga and got too light headed; so, I quit that too. :( I got to a point where the most activity I would have was walking from the bed to the bathroom a hundred times a night.

I didn't really have a plan after I had Lucy, on how to lose weight. I was too busy thinking about Lucy. I knew that I would somehow get back to 'normal' - ha.  I laugh at the word 'normal' because it is non-existent. This is the new normal!

I still ate pretty normal while I was breastfeeding. I didn't want to cut my calories too much.  Then, when I stopped breastfeeding, I went hardcore dieting. I went back on Weight Watchers, which I had some success in the past with. (In college, I gained like 15 pounds and somehow went on WW and lost 20, in 2 months!)

I then started to exercise. My sister-in-law told me about kickboxing classes held at our local wellness center. I said, "What the hey!?" And, started them.  It kicked my butt by the way...they still do, twice a week!

The pounds came off pretty quickly after that. I was motivated and somehow got down, a mere 11.5 pounds from my goal - in just 5 months!  My gallbladder surgery helped me lose another 5 lbs...which I know, I know, isn't the healthiest way to lose weight. But, I'll take it!

My old clothes fit. My jeans fit again. Diet motivation? See ya!

I got to where I was only working out, toning my now-somewhat-existent-muscles, and eating pure crap (pizza, bosco sticks, mac & cheese, chips). I was eating whatever I wanted, just in small to medium portions. What this did for me was, keep me in the same place on the scale. I was stuck. Scratch that...I am stuck.

I am hoping with some spring weather that I will start running outside more, which I really enjoy. Sometimes on the treadmill I can't escape my own mind. I start thinking about wanting to quit and how much it hurts, or how much farther I need to go. Outside, I am relieving stress and I can physically see my progress flying past me. :)

The bad part about spring? The weather is nice and I want to get out of the house more. Going out to eat is more appealing, as is cooking out (hotdogs, polish sausage, and potato chips!).

Anyway, enough with the excuses. Kickboxing is going to be offered this summer; so, I have no reason to become unmotivated. And, I just have to get back to my previous weight before Heath and I consider having more children.  What happens is moms don't lose the 5 lbs and then have another. Then, they have 10 lbs, and if they have another....well, you get the picture.

In the mean time, I want to stay positive - celebrate the good things!  Like: I have come a long way. Although I have been 'stuck' for months now, at least I'm not gaining!  And, I have been wanting to put together some 'Biggest Loser' type comparisons for a long time now. So, here they are...everyone loves a good comparison!

Far left: After my first weight loss, of 20 lbs.
Middle left: 14 weeks pregnant, and 1 lb down, due to morning sickness
Middle right: 11 weeks after having Lucy, in my friend wedding (I was so chubby for her wedding! I feel like I ruined all of her photos!)
Far right: This was last November, 6.5 lbs to go!

 

Left: The day before I found out I was pregnant

Middle: Again, at my friend's wedding, 11 weeks after having Lucy

Right: Again, me in November, 6.5 lbs to go

Looking at those pictures makes me realize how far I've come! I didn't realize I was so big at the time. I just knew I wanted to lose.  When Heath, Lucy, and I watched a video of the day she was born Heath said, "Lucy, look at how much weight mommy has lost!"

Thanks hun......thanks a lot.....haha.

A Momma’s Body

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