Looks - Part 2

This is part 2, because I wrote a blog post about Lucy looking so much like Heath back in the day, titled, "Looks."

So, I might just have one that looks like me yet! :) Heath totally got Lucy...

But, I may have gotten Olive. :)

I say "got" like it's a competition or something. I really don't mean it like that. I mean that I look at Lucy and I see Heath. I rarely, if ever, see myself in her. She is even energetic and goofy like Heath. :) But, Olive, I see a baby version of myself in her. It's a wonderful feeling to look at your child and see yourself.  Even if she changes and starts to look like Lucy and Heath, that is alright. I had my moment. :)

Oh, and Heath...I don't know where those cheeks come from! Haha. Lucy had them too! We like our chubby babies!

Birth Story: Part 2

After finally getting to the surgery room, I felt great. I was a little scared of the spinal and I was still having contractions. But, to know there was an end in sight felt wonderful. Also, I had been to that surgery room before, when I had my gallbladder taken out; so, there was some familiarity to it all.

The spinal had a little sting to it, and I would say was very comparable to an epidural. It took a while, so I asked a few questions of the anesthesiologist. How much will I feel? Will this make me nauseous? How does it only numb me from the arms down?

I had drank some tart, grape drink before I went down to surgery. It was supposed to help with the nausea. I was hoping so. I had heard horror stories about women throwing up during their entire surgery. Nothing sounded worse than throwing up while laying on your back. Plus, talk about a moment ruiner...

I was on my back, arms strapped down, and the sheet was up before Heath was escorted into the room. They had already asked how much I could feel. It was the most bizarre feeling. With an epidural, it was somewhat scary to me. I felt completely out of control and almost paralyzed. I hated looking at my leg, trying to move it, and being unable to do so. It truly freaked me out. With the spinal, I could feel. But, I couldn't feel everything. I could feel them rubbing stuff on my belly, which I was told would normally seem cold. I only felt the movement and not the coldness. Then, she started to make the incision. I remember knowing that she was about to cut, when Heath came by the sheet. I thought for sure that he would see the blood and pass out on the spot.

When he got to me, he was feeling pretty good. He had popped a Xanax upstairs and was what I would describe as three-beer-Heath. He was invincible and when they told him that he could stand to watch, he did! I kept asking him, "Are you sure? Are you okay?"

Getting Olive out only took a few minutes. This is what I heard:

"Okay, get ready to meet Baby Olive."

"Oh, she has hair!"

"Heath, get the camera ready."

"She's no peanut."

"Here she is!"

Heath stood up the whole time, snapping pictures with the camera in one hand and video recording with his phone in the other. The video is great! :) It is kind of gross though, and so are the pictures. I thought I would spare you.

She was born at 6:42 pm.

As soon as I heard her let out her first wail, I broke down. I just cried and cried. It still wasn't quiet real to me. Nothing quiet prepares you for hearing your baby cry for the first time, or seeing them either. While I was blubbering, unable to wipe away my tears, Dr. B leaned Olive over the sheet for me to see. In her gross, bloody, crying state, she looked like Lucy. Then, as quickly as she was there, she was gone. They took her across the room to check her. Heath followed, snapping pictures like crazy.

 

We all anticipated the weight. I overheard a conversation between Dr. B and the nurses on how much they thought she'd weigh. Dr. B was pretty close, saying that she thought she would be close to 9 lbs. She was 8 lbs and 11.5 ounces. She was 2.5 ounces more than Lucy and a week early! The shocker for me was, she was 21 inches long! That was 2 inches longer than Lucy. I just kept repeating it over and over. "21 inches? Wow, really? 21 inches?"

Olive cried and cried, until Heath said something to her. It seemed as though she recognized his voice, because she immediately stopped. It was so sweet. It warmed my heart. 

Olive and Heath were off to my right and a little over my head. After about ten minutes of watching, my neck and eyes started to hurt from straining. So, I stopped and laid flat again. Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks the 36 hours of little to no sleep. I was so tired. It was like my body knew that it was over and Olive was okay. I let my eyes close a few times as I jerked them back open. Finally, I called Heath over. "I'm going to close my eyes and I might fall asleep, is that okay?" 

I felt like a jerk; but, I literally couldn't stay awake. He of course told me that was alright, as he went back to Olive. I then fell in and out of sleep for the next hour or so. I woke up once because I was nauseous. I thought I might throw up. When I told the anesthesiologist, she got me a "throw-up sleeve," as I like to call them. Dr. B heard me and said that she was pushing on my stomach and that was probably what was causing it. Thank goodness the nausea passed and before I knew it the sheet was pulled down.

While they were moving me to a bed, Dr. B went to check on Olive. She is such a caring person and you can tell that she loves her job!

Funny story about the nurse in the maroon, over Dr. B's shoulder. She was a student when I had Lucy. I remembered her, only because her name is also my middle name. When she came in for the surgery and introduced herself, I immediately asked if she was a student back in February 2010. It was her. She was present for both of my girls. :)

Once settled, I finally got to hold her too. :)

She still looked a lot like Lucy to me.

We were taken to the recovery room, where I was able to have a few guests. I asked for Heath to go tell my sister to bring Lucy down. Little did I know, Dr. B had already went to get Lucy! haha. :) I think she was excited too.

Lucy was pretty excited and surprisingly not freaked out at all by the hospital. She rubbed Olive's head and talked to her. For the first time that evening, Heath cried. My sister did too. It was a special moment.

We finally got back upstairs around 9:30 pm. Good thing we have our babies on the weekend. :)

Everyone was thrilled. I have to say though, do you see Heath's sister's boyfriend over in the corner with his arms crossed? Haha. I have a picture similar to this one, when Lucy was born. Except, then, my cousin was keeping him company. I just don't think men/boys are into this stuff as much, unless it's their baby or grand-baby.

Everyone stayed only for a while and left to let me sleep. I was able to breastfeed her downstairs in the recovery room. So, I waited until the next feeding and then let the nurse take her to the nursery. We learned from Lucy, that for us, it was better for her to go to the nursery. I didn't have any trouble sleeping and was excited each and every time they brought her in to feed.

- To Be Continued -

Dear...

Dear Hyundai...I sincerely apologize for the stains you have acquired in the last three years. I would blame it on Lucy, but even the driver's seat has some marks. That is what you get for having tan interior. What were you thinking?

Dear Chico...you are a lazy bum and I envy you in the worst way.

Dear Blue Sippy Cup...I am sorry that we had to part ways. You should know every time we poured milk into you, that you took a risk of being tossed. Perhaps you could have laid under the bed forever, with your sour contents. Unfortunately, I found you and after a mutual, family decision, we opted for the trash can. It's nothing personal; we have weak stomachs.

Dear Organizing Blogs...I've come to realize that it isn't simply putting items into baskets that make things look spiffy (although it helps). You must have matching bins/baskets and name tags to really look great. You make me feel mediocre...damn you.

Dear Heath...although I think Lucy's new freckles (10 or so, on her cheeks) are absolutely adorable, it isn't quite fair that she looks so much like you. :[  This is a picture of Heath, not Lucy, for anyone who needed the clarification.

Dear Chilis Restaurants...I think our city could totally support a Chilis. What do you say? Yay or nay? I think so.

Dear Olive...if you haven't heard by now, you look kind of like your sister, or so it seems. This means that we will have to explain your grumpy disposition all of the time. However, don't take it personal. You come by it honestly. :) I mean, look at your sister...

Dear Scale...if you could just keep that first number as a '1,' I would really appreciate that. I don't intend to see a '2' during this pregnancy, but I am getting pretty worried as of late. Help a pregnant girl out!

Dear Lucy...you can lie to us and say that you didn't poop your pull-up; but, you not sitting on your butt is a clear indicator something is up...literally.

Dear Motherhood Maternity Store...thank you for the adorable olive-colored dress that I purchased this weekend; however, I hated that I had to give you an arm for it. On another note: please consider giving the weirdo who helped me a different job, preferably in the back room where she can't be heard. Well, now that I think about it, you could also send the 90 lb, 20 year old wearing tightss back there too.

Dear Husband...I know you think I have an obsession with going to Sonic for slushes. But, I crave those strawberry slushes and Lucy loves getting one too.

Dear Olive...since we have confirmed that you are a girl, you are officially stuck with that name. :) I hope you like it.

Have a great day everyone! Any, "Dear..." letters you would like to send?

3D Ultrasound

Well, I don't have all of the pictures ready for you guys yet; however, I wanted to share what I do have. :)

First things first...yes, it is still a girl. :) And yes, there is only one baby in there. It was confirmed.

Here the little beauty is:

Sorry about the quality of photos. Since I don't have them downloaded yet, they are pictures of pictures...

Olive cooperated much more than Lucy did a couple of years ago. Here are our other favorites:

The umbilical cord kept getting in her face.

This one isn't as clear either, because the umbilical cord. However, we loved that is showed her hands up by her face. :)

Again, it's a little blurry and you can see the reflection off of the picture.

So, if you were wondering...YES - she looks like Lucy!  We all thought so and she is super chubby, or so it looks. :)

What do you think?

I will get more to you soon and share a little more about the visit. It was a fantastic day!

Keep cool!

Bringing "Sexy" Back?

I have to say it. The worst part of being pregnant is feeling completely gross. I say that is a non-dirty kind of way. I just feel like the farthest thing from sexy right now. Some women claim that they have never felt more comfortable in their skin or more beautiful. Not this gal! I feel gross, repulsive, un-sexy, and all of those other synonyms...

Let me continue by saying first off that this is not some type of fishing attempt from me. I am not looking for all of my readers to say, "Oh, no! You are beautiful!" or "You are a mom and that makes you super sexy." Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Not that anyone would actually say that second quote - haha. I was just paraphrasing to get my point across.

I think it is safe to say that every woman wants to feel sexy. Not just sexy to their husband, but to everyone! You want guys to think you are nice looking and you want girls to envy your...clothes, looks, makeup, hair, something! Or, is that just me? Well, it is me. I admit it. I want to be considered nice looking, or at least the best looking that I can be. haha. I want to feel confident!

Fair warning male, family readers - it gets a little weird from here on out and you may want to stop...

Most of all though, I want Heath to think I'm sexy. This isn't some weight issue, where I can put on loose fitting lingerie and boost my boobs up and out to take his eyes off of my cellulite ass. This is an entire belly to work with! There is no possible way to look sexy while pregnant. Again, at least not to me. I cannot find a way to feel "sexy." Pretty? Maybe, at times. Sexy? No. Not at all.

I miss it. You know? Heath still tells me I'm beautiful and all that jazz. He is a good husband and a pretty good "woo-er." But, I am beginning to feel like he is a pretty good fibber too. ;)

I usual feel one of two things: 1) When he looks at me, all he can see is Olive. Or, 2) When he looks at me, he thinks that it is weird, like alien-like or something. 

I came up with those two, because I think them myself! Pregnant bellies are weird! They look so weird and very alien-like to me. I would have to be the Dugger lady before I could get used to them. I am still somehow shocked by Olive, although I knew what to expect. I just kind of forgot...

I really will have no way of coming full circle with this one. I just can't wait until I can hug Heath again and fully embrace him, not jut my butt out like a chicken. It is weird how you easily miss things like that, in only a matter of months of absence.

All I can say is, I'm sorry Heath. I will totally bring sexy back later on this year. It will probably be a much larger, chubbier form of sexy than you knew before Lucy or Olive. But, it'll be sexy nonetheless! ;) Then, perhaps through my weight battles, you will see full-on sexy next year! Here's hopin'!

Happy Birthday Lucy!

Sometimes Lucy's birth seems like years and years ago. Sometimes it feels like yesterday.

The pain seems long gone and I hardly remember it. But, the time that I've spent with Lucy doesn't seem like enough to fill two years! I guess this is parenthood...

How my little girl went from this -

 

To a toddler, I'll never quite know.

But, one thing I do know is why she looks like she does. Her daddy.

I tried to tell myself over and over again that she looks like me. She has blonde-ish hair. She has big brown eyes. There is some of me in there! Plus, it had been a while since I had seen Heath's baby pictures. But, then...I saw some of him when he was two years old.  It's Lucy....in boy clothes.  Even Lucy thought it was herself! She pointed and said, "That's Lucy!"

My arguments are all down the drain with a shear glimpse of the images that I will lay before you -

 

 

I rest my case. Heath's genes are apparently WAY more powerful than mine - except that big toe! :)

As the day continues, and the weather calls for a light snow, I will be thinking of the Super Bowl Sunday that Lucy was born. At 1:12 pm, it was snowing then too. :) Seeing her face for the first time was amazing. I dreamed of what she would look like. Now, I know that all I had to do was look to my right and she was staring back at me, with freckles. :)

Ahhh....the miracle of life.

My Little Blondie

Or perhaps, not so much. The verdict is still out on this one folks.

When I imagined having a sweet, beautiful, little girl, I always pictured brown eyes and blonde hair. Well, the brown eyes are there and the hair? Well, we will see. Not that Lucy isn’t absolutely beautiful the way she is, but I secretly (or not so secretly now) hope her hair turns blonde.

Side note – why are both ‘blond’ and ‘blonde’ acceptable spellings in Microsoft Word? I swear it is just to screw with people when they fill out forms (more specifically me). Everywhere else I look 'blonde' is incorrect. Well, that is what I prefer; so, there ya go.

Anyway, yes, I understand the ridicule that comes with being blonde. I, myself, was blonde from age 2 to 12. Then, unfortunately my hair turned to this dirty, brownish, blonde color you see at my roots today. I just feel that if her hair turns blonde that she will have a little bit more of me. :) More? She is already half, right? No, not right. She may be half of me and I may have given birth to her, but she looks just like her daddy. Some days it makes me laugh and others it makes me sad.

People are constantly saying, “I can see you in her, but mostly I see Heath.” Or, they say, “Lucy looks just like her daddy,” and they skip me all together. My sister sometimes says, "She looks like a Lucy." haha...I think it is to please me! :)

I ask Heath all the time, "What is it like to look at her and literally see yourself?" I can see myself a little bit, but I think it's more of the connection and bond that I'm feeling.

This weekend Heath held Lucy up to his face and then looked in the mirror. I stood next to them as well. Oh boy….she looks like a little, female version of him. I know what you are thinking. Be thankful that she is healthy and who cares what color her hair is or who she looks like. I understand that and those are valid points. I know I’m being selfish; on the other hand, these are honest feelings that I have. I do sometimes feel left out of our threesome. The two of them look so much alike! And I know Heath loves it. You can see him beaming when I talk about it. He makes me feel better by saying he hopes she looks like me when she gets older, because I am beautiful. Aww…I really did marry one of the sweetest guys!

I better change the subject though and not get all lovey-dovey on you readers or I will lose followers!

Again, I realize these are selfish thoughts; but, I have them anyway. Did you or do you ever wish your child looked more like you? Or, do you hope that they don't get certain attributes of yours? Like dark hair follicles or a permanent double chin? :{ Either way, I'll help her through it all.

Deep down, I know it doesn't matter. But, I sure would like to hear, "She looks just like her mommy."