Life’s Little Blessings – Babies!

One of my good friends just had her baby yesterday! And, ah, the feelings it brings up for me. I am immediately taken back to Lucy’s birth and how it seems like so long ago. I know – it sounds ridiculous. She is only 16 weeks old. However, it was such a whirlwind of emotions that I have a hard time remembering one specific moment. The moments that do stick in my mind are odd. It is funny how the mind works.

I am not sure why, but once I realized that the pain I was feeling were actual contractions, I was weirdly calm. I was excited about Lucy making her way into this world! But, the amount of pain I would soon be feeling never really dawned on me. Yes, the contractions at home were painful, but not that bad in comparison to what I would later feel. That is something I remember well – the first really painful contraction. Once checked into the hospital and into my stylish gown, I went to the bathroom to splash water on my face. I had been walking up and down the stairs trying to progress labor and the radiators had the temperature at least 100 degrees; I’m sure of it! During my attempt to cool down,…bam. For some reason I thought that if I wiggled around enough I could relieve the ‘cramp.’ So, immediately I started hunching over, squatting, and ended up grasping the handicap assistance bar and thinking I was going to rip it out of the wall.

The next things I remember include being annoyed by Heath standing in front of my ‘focus picture’ during a horrible contraction, watching the scene from Sweet Home Alabama when she shows up at Jake’s house(while trying to sleep), then next thing I knew I was holding my baby girl.

The feeling of looking at that tiny baby that you carried around for so long, knowing that they already love you with all of their little heart, and trying to talk your brain into understanding that you actually created this miracle is amazing.

So, when I heard that my friend’s water broke, I was ecstatic for her. I knew that she was about to experience one of the most wonderful things that she will ever experience. But, it was 7 weeks early. I was terrified for her and sad about how she must have felt. I immediately felt blessed and silly for begging Lucy to come early. I didn’t want to bother her, so I compulsively checked Facebook and texts for updates…nothing. Then, an update - she had to get an emergency C-Section. My heart raced for her and I did some serious praying.

On May 25th, 2010 at 4:56 pm, her son was born. A healthy, almost 6 pound baby boy made his parents’ life complete! A later update claimed he was eating and didn’t need to be on oxygen. It was a true miracle for a 7 week premature baby, truly a miracle.

I thought a lot about it. Her experience was so much different than mine. I felt oddly reassured, and annoyed with Heath and the pain. She had to be scared and willing to feel any pain to guarantee well-being for her baby boy. But, it doesn’t matter now. Two different experiences; but, one wonderful outcome, life’s blessing – a baby.

Living for Tomorrow

I was holding Lucy earlier this week and started to daydream. I thought about that two-story Barbie house my dad built me when I was 8 years old. It was the most creative and crafty thing a young girl could imagine and even looking back on it today, I appreciate the time it took him. It had stained, wood floors, beige wallpaper with maroon hearts, a second-level patio, and tongue depressors cut in half for shingles. The master bedroom was fit for a Barbie queen! The light pink canopy bed, matching sofa and love seat were decoratively organized across from the patio door. My sister and I played with that house until all hours of the evening (probably ten o’clock or so, but as a child it seemed late!).

I then quickly listed, in my mind, all the wonderful toys that meant so much to me as a child: the pink Barbie Cadillac, my hunter-green convertible, dodge viper matchbox car, my pink Polly Pocket mansion with a swimming pool, and even my Murray bicycle. Ahhh…..childhood and the summer off of school! It makes me smile just thinking about it. I cannot wait until Lucy gets old enough to play with those toys.

Unfortunately, my dad threw my old, hand-made Barbie house out. I wasn’t present of course. However, I did win the fight to keep the pink Cadillac. It is a little worn, but I am sure Lucy won’t mind. I imagine my dad making Lucy her own Barbie house someday, one that’s as big as she is tall! :) We’ll see…

In the middle of all these wonderful thoughts of my childhood, I realized…I am living for tomorrow. Every day I go to work and imagine all the things that my future holds. I hope and sometimes pray for what tomorrow will hold for me and my family. Why? Why do I have such a hard time living in the now?

During work, all I can think about is the evening. During the week, all I can think about is the weekend. During the year, all I can think about is Christmas season…then it all starts over after the New Year.

So, I have decided to try to stop. I need to stop. Lucy is 3 months and 2 weeks old already! Whoa, I know. I am going to miss out on so much of her childhood if I keep dreaming about all the things we WILL do. I need to realize that I am living a dream! Through the entire nine months of my pregnancy I dreamt about the day I got to hold my little girl. Now, I am; I am living the very role that I played with my Barbies, just 16 years ago. The names have changed of course; I will never be a ‘Michelle,’ nor will Heath ever be a ‘Derek.’ But, the loving home is the same – minus the lovely patio. ;)

Today, May 20th, is just a very small portion of my life on this earth. But, I will try to remember it as a day that I worked to provide for my little family and spent the evening doing exactly what I wanted – spending it with family. Today is great and tomorrow, well, it’ll come soon enough.

Inspiration, Motivation, and Whatever Else Keeps You Going…

I was inspired by a friend of mine, who had her own blog of course, to start ‘documenting’ my life. Or rather, I wanted to document Lucy’s life. My friend would share cute stories about her children and about her most recent pregnancy, the naming process, the anticipation, and the sleepless nights. She had witty comments and cute details; but, I really couldn’t expect anything less from an English major.

I kept thinking that it would have been so neat to be able to share with everyone what was going on with my pregnancy. It would beat telling the same story 80 times, “the doctor said that I was retaining water and I had sausage toes,” etc.

Well, better late than never – I always say! (I say that because I’m consistently late, for everything.) Either way, that is why I am here.

Speaking of motivation and inspiration…Lucy. She was a whoppin’ 11 pounds and 4 ¾ ounces at her two month appointment and 21 inches long. According to her daddy’s baby book, she has already surpassed him, height-wise. He keeps wondering if she’ll be a setter or a middle hitter! Or better yet, a hurdler or a sprinter! We are just kidding of course; we aren’t going to make her be an athlete. She may just be a brainiac, with sweet computer skills. ;)

Whoops, I have to go now! Random, I know; but, the little beauty calls. :)

So this is what it feels like to be a mother? Mid-thought and next thing you know……

I am now a Blogger!

Just getting started on my very first blog! This one will not be very interesting. To be honest, I can't promise the rest will be either! However, I hope to keep this updated and share often. We'll see.....it may just be a fad. :)