The Decision to be a Stay-At-Home Mom

I have been a stay-at-home mother (SAHM) for almost four years. That seems kind of crazy to even type. Four years. Wow. While I feel like I am finally getting the hang of being a SAHM, I also am not at all getting the hang of it. I am convinced that I may never be used to this ever-changing role that I have taken on. Life is that way, though, right? As soon as you feel like you have established some type of routine, you get that curve ball that resets everything.

(Type A cringe of grand proportion)

I have been wanting to address my/our decision for me to stay home ever since the decision was made. 

I’m telling you now, this post will be long - like six Word pages long. And, before I jump in, I am gonna say that I am in no way trying to guilt working mothers or convince them to stay home. I think you are amazing and I am in awe of you every day. I have been blessed to be both a working mother and a SAHM. Both are awesome and make me proud to be a woman/mother. As Beyonce would ask, "Who run the world?!"

The first time Heath and I discussed me becoming a stay-at-home mother, I had just had Lucy and was returning to work after an eight-week maternity leave. I struggled putting Lucy in daycare. If you at all read my blog back in 2011, you know how much I struggled. I just couldn’t get over it. But, many other apprehensions won out each time it was discussed and, well, I continued to work. With Olive’s birth, we visited the discussion again. At this point, we had become quite financially “comfortable,” and the idea seemed even further from a reality. I actually liked my job at that time and the people I worked with. The daycare was in my building and since Heath worked at the same place, we rode to and from work together. It really was a great situation for a working mother. It seemed stupid to walk away from something so seemingly ideal.

Then, without going into much detail, I became unhappy in my working role. It became very apparent to me, and every single person around me, that it was time for me to transition to something else. That very difficult point in my life was what pushed me to make the decision that I had been avoiding for many years – five years actually. I was pregnant with our youngest and again, Heath asked me, “Do you want to stay home?”

Every time I heard that question uttered, I immediately became nervous. I can distinctly recall moments in the car, on the way home from work, physically trembling with fear just talking about it. I had several concerns, and fears, and irrational worries. I have decided to share a few with you. Or, maybe ten...

1)      Money

The number one concern was an obvious one – money. We needed to figure out if we could even make it work, financially. I knew that we could, in a grand sense. However, we had certainly become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Were we ready to take that cut?

Four years later…
I do not take this point of discussion lightly. Honestly, when it comes to a two-income family, having one of them stay at home is sometimes not even an option. The fact that it was even a consideration for us, was and is a blessing.

At first, it was a huge adjustment that we took on as a challenge. It was actually kind of fun. I took my monthly “allowance” and knew that with every dollar saved, I could celebrate with that money – a night out, a new gadget, some type of splurge, and so on. I wasn’t sure if I could keep up the momentum, but was willing to give it a go. Thankfully, we saved a lot of money right away. Daycare for three children was going to be about 30-40% of my salary anyway. So, there was a huge savings. And, I didn’t need to buy work clothes any longer. My dream of living in Target yoga pants and cheap sweatshirts was now a reality. But, most of all, we were no longer using our money to make us happy.

When I was working, I became extremely unhappy. I was stressed, and pregnant, and working in graduate school, and took my anger/sadness/discontentment home with me every single night. We got home at 5:30 PM, unloaded and settled in by 6 PM, and the last thing I wanted to do was put a meal on the table. So, we ordered out a lot. A lot. I mean, A LOT. I think we were spending almost $600 a month on just eating out. We would justify it with working so hard. We had also started justifying big splurges too. When you work your ass off and are unhappy, you buy things to try and fill your cup. You feel like you deserve it; you work all the time and deserve to use some of it on something that makes you happy, right?  Well, we immediately stopped doing that. Mostly because we had to; but, we soon realized that we didn’t need to anymore. With me staying home, we were now happy without the splurging; we were content.

I must also mention that we were very fortunate in our path. It wasn’t long after I started staying home that Heath applied for and received a new job. It has been an amazing blessing in our lives in so many ways. Moreover, it did relieve quite a bit of the financial strain as well. Then, I applied for and received the opportunity to teach online courses as an adjunct faculty member at a local institution. It is sporadic and not a guaranteed income, but it helps financially (and I love it and hope to elaborate more on that another time).

2)      Judgment from other People – Society

I kept wondering what other people might think about my decision. Would everyone think I was lazy? Would they think that I got fired? Would they think that I wasn’t smart enough? And also, for me, I was in the middle of a graduate program. The idea that I might start staying home and not “using” my degree, at least right away, seemed silly.

Four years later…
I still struggle with this. Because, let’s be honest, society is judgmental. SAHMs and working mothers both get judgement. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. For me, I am very insecure about this point in particular. When I thought about people asking me what I did for a living, I would feel sick. How could I say, “I stay at home”? Looking back, I think I may have judged SAHMs a bit too. I don’t even know why exactly; I guess it felt like the “right side” to be on. I blame ignorance. 

The entire idea of being scared of what society might think makes me laugh now. As I have become more comfortable in this role, and found other BA SAHMs out there, I don’t feel embarrassed or apologetic. I feel empowered and ready to fight ‘em on it. I am not lazy. I am educated. I am organized. And, WE ARE HAPPY. Period. That is all that matters. It was right for our family. It isn’t right for everyone. But, for us, it is.

3)      Judgment from other People – Our Family

Thinking about how Heath’s family might react scared me. Would they think that I was “taking advantage” of him? Would they think I should be doing more, financially, to contribute? And, of course, would they think I was just being lazy?

Four years later…
I was absolutely terrified to tell our family that I was going to be staying home. I made Heath tell his parents. I stressed how important it was for him to let them know he was supportive of the idea. Because, that was KEY. If he didn’t support the idea, it wouldn’t work. While I “run the show” at home. None of this is even possible without Heath. I acknowledge that and probably don’t thank him enough for it. 

In the beginning, while everyone was nice about it, I could see the fear in their eyes. They were scared for us. We had a nice home, I was in graduate school, and we had a third baby on the way. No one really knew what our finances were; but, I’m sure it appeared scary from the outside! The fear was again reignited when we decided to take on a fixer-upper, and had two mortgages for a brief period.

You can really only do so much to give family comfort. It took time, I think, before they could see that we are doing alright. And, it took time to see how much happier we became. 

4)      What if I am not meant to be a SAHM?

What if the idea of staying home seems great, but I wasn’t meant for it? I am not much of a “kid person” - really. That sounds terrible; but, I’m not. I ruled out being an Elementary School Teacher many, many years ago. So, what if I was just not built for this? What if I quit my job and hated being at home? It’s not like you can just go back to your old job and be like, “Ooops. Never mind.” And, finding a new job that I liked and was paid similarly was not guaranteed. 

Four years later…
If I said that my first months were easy, I’d be lying. It takes some time to get used to being at home. I felt guilty for any second that I wasn’t doing something. I would basically follow the kids around, picking up anything and everything, making sure the house was spotless. Moments that I now realize are necessary for recharging and sanity, I would fill with multiple activities each day. While Heath never said a word to me about it, I always felt this immense pressure to have the house looking beautiful and have dinner on the table when he came home. That was my new job, right?

Heath has said many, many times that he doesn’t expect anything. And, thank the Lord for him, because you know what? Life still happens. Some days I don’t get everything done. And, sometimes things come up. And, sometimes the kids have bad days. And, sometimes I have bad days. And, sometimes we make frozen pizza for dinner. When I finally embraced that idea, I embraced the reason for staying home. The priority for me was the kids.

Yes, staying home has also allowed me to get more things done during the day, to allow for more family time in the evenings. It allows me to be more involved with the kids’ school lives. And, I could list about a billion other things it gives me the opportunity to do. Bottom line is: I gambled and I won. I love staying at home. And, also, after being at home…I’m still not a kid person. Turns out, you don’t have to be. I just have to be a “my kids” person.

5)      Adult Interaction

Being a working mother, you aren’t necessarily privy to all of the SAHM mother programs or activities, day-time volunteer opportunities, or who to even call for play-dates. Everyone I was really good friends with and all of my family, at that time, worked. I would be at home with a 2.5 year old and a baby full-time; my five year old would be there when not in school. Could Heath carry the entire load of my conversational yearning?

Four years later…
I struggled a lot in the first year. I had a newborn too; so, that may have been a lot of the issue. But, mostly, I was not familiar with the SAHM “scene.” Where do I meet other moms? Is there an app that will match me with them? Swipe left? Right?

It was a blessing that a friend of mine suggested our local MOPs group (Moms of Preschoolers). We meet once a month and I absolutely love it. I look so forward to the meetings; but, it has linked me to other SAHMs in the area. I now have a weekly women’s group I attend, and many numbers to text for impromptu play dates.

SAHM full-disclosure: playdates are totally not for the kids, y’all. They are for our sanity. And, maybe a tiny bit for the kids…I mean, they usually sleep better burning off all that energy...

I also decided to just be more open to social interaction. If another mom started up a conversation at t-ball practice, I welcomed it. I never had a reason to seek out new friendships before. Now, it seems like I have so many, and I have so many people to reach out to for anything. My support system grew considerably! 

I don’t like to give advice, but I’m gonna. (Actually, I love to give advice, but acknowledge, like, who am I to be giving advice? Anyway, here is my advice…) If you are invited to something, go. I mean, if the only thing that keeps you from going is social anxiety and the fear of being awkward, then please try it. I am SO awkward. You have no idea! And, I am so glad I chose to say yes and to go. The first couple of times are scary and weird; but, you WILL figure out who you have commonalities with. It won’t take long before you…dare I say it?... "find your tribe.”

6)      My Husband Might Resent Me

I worried that Heath my start to resent me at some point. The first time we had to say no to a purchase, because it wasn’t in the budget, would he be mad that I wasn’t working? Seeing other people go on expensive vacations or buying this or that, would he be upset with our decision? And, when I was able to sleep-in, or do something fun with the kids, would he be angry that I got to do it and not him? 

Four years later…
Heath truly might resent me. In the depths of his soul, there may be some resentment. I don’t know unless he tells me. And, I check in on it from time to time. Heath consistently tells me that he is happy with our set-up, that I can stay home with our children. He is happy with all of it. And, I believe him. I know that there is always the possibility that he may someday change his tune. So, I just make sure that I remember such. I try to make extra time for him. I try to be thoughtful. And, I say, “Yes, you deserve it,” when he suggests buying something for himself – most of the time that is…

7)      A Resume Gap

I had a big worry that I would have a resume gap, which I wasn’t even sure at that time how big of a gap that might be! I was concerned that when I decided to jump back into the workforce, people wouldn’t respect the gap and my reason for it – especially men. And, was I ready to start out at a base salary again, and being older this time around?

Four years later…
As mentioned, I was fortunate enough to eventually start a part-time gig. But, before that, I decided to keep my resume alive by volunteering. I was able to apply for and get a position on a local board for a non-profit organization. It was something that related to my work experience, was something that I was passionate about, and gave me an outlet for that yearning to work. That last part probably sounds silly. But, after my first couple of meetings, I told Heath, I just liked the strategic thought and being able to use my work experience and degree in some way. It was a nice fulfillment for me. I got to be successful outside the home as well.

I have also become so comfortable in my role at home that I've become quite defiant about it. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. The more you love your decisions, the less you care what other people think about them. So, if you stay home and you have a resume gap, and a potential boss doesn’t respect it, then what does that say about them? It would indicate that they aren’t going to be A) a decent person to work for, or B) understanding when it comes to family needs. So, maybe you don’t want to work for them anyway… 

8)      I Cheated My Older Children

Since I didn’t make this decision earlier, when my girls were born, if I stayed home with the youngest, did I cheat the others? Will this make me even sadder about missing out on the time my girls spent at daycare? 

Four years later…
I don’t know if I can or will ever overcome this insecurity. Because it is just that. It is something that I personally deal with. I know other mothers who did the opposite of me; they stayed home with older children and then worked while the younger ones went to daycare. And, what it comes down to is doing what is right for our families. I believe in God’s plan and His timing. We weren’t necessarily in the position for me to stay home before, and I don’t know if I would appreciate staying home as much had I not experienced what I did. God is in control and I’ll know if and when it’s time to make another shift.

9)      Am I Thickening that Glass Ceiling?

I had previously experienced outright sexism in the workplace, more than once. I won’t go into details; but, I was told that since I was a female and someone else was a male, that [this] is how it was going to be. If I quit, was I just perpetuating the stereo-type? It felt like by staying home, I was telling everyone that I “wasn’t right for the workplace” and “my place was at home.” 

Four years later…
Turns out, my place is at home - but, not for the reasons that sexist turd-bag implied…

I don’t believe that SAHMs are “less-than.” And, maybe I am perpetuating some stereo-type by staying home. But, I believe that I could become the first female president tomorrow, and those stereo-types will still exist. All I can do is continue to fight for women who want to do more, and empower my girls. We don’t have to do ALL things that men do. But, we should be able try, if we want, right? And, it goes the other way too, men. Stay-at-home Dads, are ya with me?!

10)   Independence

If I stayed home, I would be 100% financially dependent on Heath. I trust my husband. I do. Really. But, giving up all independence is kinda terrifying. What if I stay home, face many of the aforementioned concerns, and then Heath finds himself a 20-something-hottie to leave me for? To Heath, this concept is laughable. Literally, every time I have mentioned this idea, he laughs at me. I didn’t, or don’t, truly believe it would happen. But, I mean…I am a realist as well and I am not going to say that it is impossible. I would be trying to jump back into the work-force and adjusting to my own, likely lower than before, female (78 cents on the dollar) salary - all while adjusting to all the other issues a separation brings. 

It was a very small, in the depths of my mind, concern.

Four years later…
I have to trust Heath. I have to let go and let God. There are some things you just can’t obsess about. This, coming from someone who obsesses about everything! But, really, I can’t dwell on an insecurity. If I continue to work on my marriage, and just keep trying, then I can feel content with my efforts. You can only do so much; I am not in control of other people’s actions, and I never will be – no matter how much I would like to be sometimes. So, I try my best and that’s all I can do. And, I respect that.

_____________________________________________

It might be time, or age. But, I am finding comfort and contentment with my decisions. My life. My thoughts. All of it. I know that our life can turn upside down at any minute. I’ve witnessed it. I just continue to have faith in my family, my support system, myself, and most importantly, God. 

And again, working moms, you are killin' it. The grass is green over here. But, your grass is green too. Different greens, but both green. I promise.

Birth Plan #2

I finished my second birth plan. I had shared my original birth plan that I made with Lucy a couple of years ago. But, I thought I would share my new one, with some edits, now that I have experienced labor and delivery once.

Also, I get a lot of moms who tell me that they "didn't need a birth plan." Or, that they just "winged-it." That is good for them. To each their own. However, I was encouraged by my nurses and doctor to do one. Also, it is and was really comforting going through the plan with my doctor. It helps me prepare mentally and feel less anxiety. My doctor then knows what I expect, and she sends a copy to the nurses for my file. Then, I don't have to repeat myself ten times, or if something were to go unplanned, they all know what I prefer without having to ask me.

 

I posted on Facebook that I had finished my plan (a relief for me!). I had a mom, who is also pregnant, comment, "You must have written it down..Mine is done mentally..."

That's it. No more. No less. And, she never comments on my stuff.

I don't know if it's the hormones or just my surly demeanor, but that rubbed me the wrong way. Well, thanks for that comment. It achieved nothing more than pissing me off. I wonder if that is what she intended. Or, if I made her feel inferior, because she doesn't have a plan. If so, muah-ha-ha-ha. Good for you and your "mental plan;" good luck getting the doctors and nurses to read that!

Rant aside...here is my written plan! :) I added some notes too, just for my readers. What is in blue was not in the plan I gave to my doctor.
 

Cori [Last Name]’s Birth Plan
Due Date: September 14^th, 2012

Supporters:  My husband, Heath [Last Name] and my sister [First & Last Name]
*Please be aware that my husband has high anxiety about hospitals, needles, and above all, surgery. 

(I'm so glad that I included this. My doctor said that she had forgotten that Heath and I were "squeamish." Heath more so than I.)

Basics:  This is our second baby. (I've heard this is important to let the nurses know. They won't be so "in your face.")

However, we are still open to any and all information that your staff would like to share with us about the labor and post labor processes. We trust the judgment of our doctor and the nursing staff to make decisions that are in the best interest of our baby and for me.  We understand that this plan is not set in stone and could change at moment’s notice.  However, we have decided to share with you what we hope to achieve with the birthing experience.

I feel as though I should share my own anxiety about the IV and an epidural.  I do not like to be talked through these processes.  I would rather look away and only be told when the procedure is completed. – Thank you

Induction:  We are open to the idea of an induction, if it is recommended by our doctor.  Otherwise, I would like to go into labor naturally. (No such luck. This was before I knew about Olive being big.)

Pain Relief:

• I plan to request an epidural; however, I will not know when the proper time is for this.  Please suggest it, when appropriate.
• As for other pain relievers, please suggest them if the situation seems appropriate. (Last time they did, and I took them! I don't even remember what it was. But, it made that additional hour before the epidural a tiny bit more bearable.)

During the Delivery:

• I hope to be sitting up during delivery.
• At this time, I do not want to use a mirror. 
• I’d only like an episiotomy, if there is a medical emergency.  Otherwise, please allow time for the perineum to stretch naturally.

Immediate Post Delivery:

• My husband does not want to catch the baby; but, he does want to cut the umbilical cord.  He will inform you, if he changes his mind. 
• As routine, I would like to hold the baby immediately after the birth. (As in she plops her onto my chest right away. haha. I was not prepared for that with Lucy!)
• My husband and I do not wish to see the placenta after birth. (I really don't care to see it; but, the Xanax had Heath feeling so good last time he asked to see it. It was gross. I don't need to see it again.) 
• If for some reason the baby needs to be taken from the room, I would like my husband to escort her when possible.

Post Delivery:

• If the baby surprises us and is a boy, then we would like a circumcision. 
• I plan on trying to breastfeed; I have done it before. However, please advise me on when is a good time to do so. I can’t remember how much time passed post-delivery before I fed my first daughter. (I wanted them to know that it isn't my first time, so a nurse wasn't bothering me about how to do it.)
• I will accept guests before and after the baby has been breastfed and not during. (This was nice; this way the nurses knew that I didn't want them, or guests, coming and going while I was breastfeeding. I just don't feel comfortable doing it around people.) 
• We are open to giving the baby its first bath; however, the nurses are welcome to do this in the nursery-area as well. (We gave Lucy her first sponge bath; but, we were also new parents. So, this time, either way is alright.) 
• We do plan for the baby to sleep in the nursery overnight and to be brought into my room during feeding times. (We tried to have Lucy sleep in my room the whole time. No way. It didn't work. So, this time we will be sending Olive to the nursery to get some sleep; because when you get home, there is no nurse to relieve you in the middle of the night!) 
• We plan to have the baby in my room during the entire day, throughout our stay.

Caesarean Option: 

• I hope to avoid a c-section, if at all possible.

If one is necessary:

• I would like my husband and my sister to be present in the surgery room. 
• Please keep discussion with me minimal.  Considering my husband’s and my own anxieties, I do not wish to know what you are doing (making an incision, etc.). 
• Once she is born, we do wish to see her.
• Also, please inform us of the steps you are taking with the baby (she is being weighed, checked, etc.). 
• Although I realize there will be moments of separation, we would like to stay with the baby as much as possible.  If I cannot go with the baby, please let my husband know if he is welcome to be with her.

 Notes:

_________________________________________

_________________________________________

Ahhh...feels good to have it done. I feel so prepared! :) Now, to get that hospital bag packed. :[ 

35 Week Update

I thought that I should probably get this out ASAP, since I am again behind on the update.

Poor Heath. I am a beast in comparison to him! Can you say Jack Sprat?

How far along?
I am 36 weeks. So, a 35 week update was overdue! I can officially be called "9 months" pregnant. I have 28 days until her due date and 7 days before she is considered full-term.

Baby is the size of a...
According to BabyCenter.com, she is approximately the size of a honeydew. She would be about 18.5 inches and 6-ish pounds.

Clarification:
Yes - this is a new section. See, I need to clarify both of the above answers based on new information from my doctor's visit last week. First of all, my amniotic fluid levels are normal. Whew! Heath and I must have been wrong about seeing the measurements....or, were we?

You see, Olive is big. I mean really big. So, I have come to the conclusion that the measurements we were seeing were of her! Dr. B said that she measured in the 90th percentile overall. Her abdomen measured in the 97th percentile! She said that a large abdomen like that indicates that Olive will be a large baby. At my ultrasound, which took place at about 33.5 weeks, she estimated that Olive was approximately 6 to 6.5 pounds already! So, when the ultrasound tech said 5 lbs 12 oz, give or take a pound, she meant 'give' more than 'take.'  Then, when Dr. B measured my stomach she said that I was pretty much at 40 weeks already.

All I could do was shake my head. I had told Heath that I felt like she was big and so strong! Also, it made me feel a little better. Thank goodness there is a reason that I am so huge! Olive is huge too! So, now what do we do with this new information?

Dr. B said that she will definitely want to induce a week early, which sounded just fine for me. She said that we didn't want to chance that the baby's lungs weren't developed, even by a few days, so we wouldn't want to do it any sooner than a week early. So, she said let's set a tentative induction date of Friday, September 7th. She did mention a few times, "unless something changes." I am not sure what that means; but, I guess I will let you know if anything changes.

Symptoms:
My hips have been hurting pretty bad again. The last two nights haven't been as bad - thank goodness. It is just a toss up. At least I am sleeping in bed and not the recliner! :) I've been having some headaches; however, I think they are from being sleepy and stressed out from work. The swelling in my feet and ankles is getting worse. I barely walk around and my feet are puffing out the sides of my sandals. I won't miss this at all. Oh, and I am officially waddling. It is really bad, side-to-side, ridiculous waddling.

Anything new?
I am going to again compare myself to Gilbert Grape's mother. If the waddling weren't enough, I am just so big. When we went to a football scrimmage the other night, Heath sat us in the middle of the stands. I had a bleacher seat and I'm already gi-gan-tor next to Heath. I felt like "the fat woman" on display; everybody was staring at me as I ate nachos. Bah...I seriously don't care to go out in public anymore because of all the stares. I'm pregnant and very, very large...yes. Stop staring!

I don't know if anything else is new, besides the doctors appointment. I have another this week. We will see if "anything changes." Otherwise, I am pretty excited about getting a week taken off of this long wait! I am not too thrilled about an induction, which could lead to a c-section. However, if Olive is as huge as anticipated, then I would probably end up with a c-section anyway. So, I'll take my chances. Now, watch, Olive will be this teeny, tiny 6 lb baby. haha.

New with Heath?
Thank you to everyone who congratulated him on being done with his MBA. He will walk in December; we'll have to really celebrate then! Now that he is done, it has been awesome. He is present again. We have tackled  the "things to do before Olive gets here" list. It is almost completely done. We decided a few things can wait until her arrival. Her room is ready though! The house is clean, for the most part. I still need to do some dusting in the living room. Boo...otherwise, we are prepped!

New with Lucy?
I bought a book for her this last weekend.

 

We have started to fill it out. It is so much fun. It has places for her to draw and put stickers. It is really interactive and I'm excited that I purchased it. Lucy and Olive will cherish it. One of the questions was, "What do you think the baby is doing in mommy's belly right now?" I thought for sure she would say "sleepin'" or "cryin'," which are her usual phrases. This time she said, "Umm, playin'. Playin' with toys." haha. Her answers were all funny like that. I am glad to have them written down. (The author is the same as 'The Belly Book' and 'The Baby Book.')

Anything else?

Not really. I should probably end this post though before I lose you, if I haven't already done so.

21 Week Update

Here we are again, outdoors, with a head! :) The bump is getting kind of crazy and out of control!

How far along?
I am 21 weeks and 4 days (129 days left)

Baby is the size of...
or rather, the length of...a carrot. She is 10.5 inches from head to toe and 3/4 of a pound. Although, I have a feeling that Olive is probably closer to a full pound, considering her weight three weeks ago! :)

Symptoms:
The last few days have been getting rough. I was feeling pretty good; but, I carried Lucy quite a bit this weekend, sat on some gym bleachers a couple of hours, and squatted to give our chihuahua a hair cut. It really did a number on my muscles! I was and still am sore from it all. My back and shoulders are so tight. I think my husband should massage them! :)  I have to give him credit, he has a little bit...

The one thing that I am not really supposed to talk about (bowel movements) are completely irregular and annoying. But, to save you all, that is all I will say. Annoying!

I am starting to have a tough time sleeping again. I wake up a lot and dream constantly. I sleep, but don't really feel rested. So, I am feeling really tired lately. The smallest activity, like walking around Target for an hour, just about lays me out. Aww, I'm making myself tired. Let's move on...

Anything New?
The name is the same. I haven't gone to the doctor again. The belly is just getting a lot bigger! She is moving quite a bit more, or I am just feeling it more. Unlike Lucy, who used to kick and punch mostly up by my ribs, Olive's kicks are all downward. She hits my bladder like crazy and I am not as confident about my bladder control as I was with Lucy! :{ Constipation, then diarrhea, possible incontinence...get back boys! I know I'm a catch, but I'm taken!

New with Heath?
This last weekend, since I didn't feel well, he spoiled me pretty bad. I appreciate it a lot. I was just out of it and still am a little bit. I am so thankful that he takes care of Lucy and me. He is a great daddy and husband. Thank goodness for me!

He has really started to talk about Olive. He talks to Lucy about her and talks to me about our future, all while referring to her as "Olive." It helps us to better realize that a fourth family member is on the way! It gets kind of hard to believe at times. Although I am absolutely positive nothing can prepare you for having a newborn baby! And, in our case, adding another one to the family, while also having a 2 1/2 year old!

We continue to think about what we need to buy and what we need to do. It isn't as overwhelming this time, however, we probably need to get on it! I've been nesting a lot, but mostly in other rooms of the house. The nursery needs some TLC, since Lucy moved out.

New with Lucy?
Although she still occasionally gets out of bed at night, I would say that we have successfully made the transition to her big girl room. She doesn't really talk about the crib or her old room at all. And.....we have been binkie-free for over 72 hours!! Small victory in our house! :)

I'd love to say that we did some type of ceremonial goodbye to the binkie, or "mailed them" to her baby friends. But, we didn't. She got in trouble Friday night and we took it away. And, well, we decided since we were on a roll, we should continue with it. When she asks for it, we just say, "No binkie. Sorry honey." Surprisingly, her response so far has been, "Okay..." - of course it is in a whiny tone.

Now we need to move on to our third feat - potty training. More about that some other time...

Anything else?
I was recently approached with this question, "You aren't seriously naming your baby Olive are you?"

I expected it from the person it came from. I tried to be cordial, "Yeah. I know it isn't very popular." She continued to make disgusted faces, while ridiculing the name. I just smiled, in the bitchiest way I could possibly come up with, and nodded. She ended her rant by saying, "I just worry about other kids making fun of her."

Ohh...I see. She was telling me the name Olive was horrible, as a favor! Silly me! "I told her that I didn't think there was anything to make fun of and to be honest, "if she is a good person, then I don't care."  Her response was, "Yeah, I guess. Was Olive Oil one of your favorite cartoons growing up?"

It wasn't, but oh my gosh! God forbid that children call her "Olive Oil." That would just be the absolute worst! Riiiiight...they won't even know what Popeye is in that generation.

Finally, I just said, "Yeah, many of my family members don't like it too much, but they are too polite to say anything." I was hoping that would shut her up.

Fun times!  I still love the name and no one is going to convince me otherwise. I just have no use for rude people. Get a clue....what a way to start the week! I hope the rest of it goes better!

Pre-Lucy Thoughts

Each child is different and each one may need different 'tactics'!

Of course all moms like to give advice and let me be the first mom to tell you that my way works best. haha. Just kidding. But, here you go...

1. What kind of diaper bag did you use? Purse-type? Diaper-bag type? Did your husband carry it? Did you use the straps to hold it on to the stroller? Did you also carry a purse?

First of all, wowsers! That is a lot of questions. That type of fast-firing of questions is how I imagine a chihuahua would talk, if it could. :)  Anyway - I had a larger, black diaper bag. I wanted one that didn't have pastels and animals on it. So, my husband researched for "the best" one he could. It was online and had the best reviews. It looked more like a luggage-type bag than a diaper bag or purse, or at least I think so. My husband did carry it, since it was so ambiguous. We did use the straps for the stroller; we also used the straps that hold it onto the shopping cart. It was really helpful! Most of the time I still carried a purse, unless we were just running to a family members house or something, then I just threw my stuff in the diaper bag.

2. When did you fit back into your pre-baby pants? Did you buy larger pants or stay in maternity pants after baby?

I think it is unrealistic to think you are going to just hop back into your pre-baby pants. However, you are talking to someone who gained 54 lbs while pregnant. :[ I know those types of "freaks-of-nature" exist (no offense to those of you out there); but, I was NOT one of them. I didn't get back into my pre-baby pants until, like, 6 months later. Before that I had to buy new, big clothes (boo!). Just remember that everyone is different and hopefully my story makes you feel a bit better about it! haha.

3. Favorite brands of diapers? Wipes?

We quickly became Pampers fans. We tried Huggies once when Lucy was a newborn and didn't like them. We never tried any other kind after that. For wipes, we prefer Huggies. That is weird; I know. We buy both though. Huggies are just a bit thicker and don't rip as easily when you pull them out. An argument for Pampers: Children's hospital uses Pampers - must be good! :)

4. Where did baby sleep those first few weeks (or longer)? Your bed? Bassinet? Crib? In your room or his/her own?

Lucy was our first, and it's me we're talking about here. So, the paranoia was through the roof! SIDS scares the poop out of me! I didn't want Lucy sleeping away from me for at least a month. It ended up, she slept in our room for 2 months before moving to her own room. She slept in a pack-n-play, in the shallow insert they have...hard to describe. The next one may move to his or her room faster; who knows? Lucy had a hard time soothing herself. Or, we had a hard time letting her soothe herself, something like that...

5. How long until baby made a public appearance? Where was baby's first public appearance?

Our family visited a lot immediately; so, we didn't really need to leave the house a lot. Since Lucy was born in the middle of winter, we were also encouraged to not let her be around a lot of people (flu!). I think her first real public appearance was to the doctor and back. I think we made a trip shopping all day when she was 6 weeks and that was a big deal - and tough! I honestly didn't feel like getting out too much; I was still really self-conscious and sleep deprived!

6. Most useful baby item? I ran into a girl shopping for a baby gift in Target & she was looking at hooded towels. I said they were useful but should have thought of more useful items!

It is really tough to say what was the most useful. We have had a lot of items that we really needed to get by. The most would probably have to be the boppy. It helped me support Lucy when I breastfed and she was able to nap in it. It comforted her; she felt like she was still being held. It was our infant savior!

7. Did you find out the baby's gender beforehand?

Yes. I wanted to be able to plan out clothing and colors and a name. I like to plan and be organized. Experiencing birth and seeing Lucy's face was enough excitement for one day. We wanted to have something revealed throughout the pregnancy. :)

8. How long was your hospital stay? Did your hospital provide any cool services (special meal, spa treatment, etc)?

We were there technically three nights, since I went in at 9 pm and was in labor all night. It seemed to be the perfect number of days for our first baby. The hospital had a special menu for the parents, where Heath was able to eat too. It was nice. :) No spa treatments though. :(

9. Were you induced? Have a c-section? Use drugs? Epidural? Or au natural the whole way?

I went into labor naturally, a couple of days before she was due. I was lucky. I was also able to have her vaginally, which is what we wanted. The labor was long and slow - 36 hours; however, Lucy did really well and they never felt the need to rush it or do a C-Section. My doctor actually claimed, "Lucy [was] loving the birthing process." I was offered something to "take the edge off" while I waited for the epidural. I said yes; I would take anything they thought I could have at that point. It really did help a little. Then, I got an epidural at 4 cm and about 26 hours in. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

10. Do you like when friends come to the hospital to congratulate you or would you prefer that time just for your family (extended or immediate?)?

I really liked everyone being there for Lucy's birth. However, it was a little overwhelming. I felt at my absolute most vulnerable. I just wanted to shower and cuddle my baby. However, two hours after and a shower later, I was ready to show her off. Most visitors respected our exhaustion though and kept their visits somewhat brief. But, I think I preferred the visits in the hospital to the ones when we got home. Visitors during the first couple of weeks at home really made it tough to get into a routine or to take naps. :[ Everyone is different though.  Perhaps adjusting with a second child is easier - ?

Have a good Tuesday! And, please mothers out there chime in all you want! :)

Scary Times: Part 6

Let's all cross our fingers that this will be the last installment of the "Scary Times" posts. Deal?

When you last heard from me about Lucy being sick, we had just gotten out of the hospital for the second time. Lucy had an incision about 3 or 3.5 inches long in her groin area. Two stitches were holding it together, loosely, and a tube was sticking out of the top. The tube looked just like a McDonald's straw, minus the red or yellow stripe. It was held in by one stitch.

We also had to give her antibiotics and probiotics throughout the day.

Oddly enough, we were able to put her in the bathtub with the tube in. Won't water get inside her? No idea. But, that is what they told us to do. "Cleanliness is close to Godliness," Dr. A said.

The idea of the loose stitching was that the "sore", if you will, needed to heal from the inside out. Dr. A said that he couldn't sew it closed, or the abscess would just come back. That made sense. One week went by. We went in to get the tube out. The cultures of the abscess had come back - more staph infection. We weren't surprised; that is what we had all expected.  He cut the tube stitch and pulled it out in, like, two seconds and we were on our way.

In the next few days the incision continued to kind of ooze. Gross - I know. Then, where the tube was, some skin started to emerge out of the "hole". When we went to get the stitches out, Dr. A said it was scar tissue. He took the other stitches out and told us that we would have to burn Lucy's scar tissue off. Now, doesn't that sound fun?

Sorry - can you sense my annoyance through my sarcasm?

We took home some liquid nitrate sticks. They looked like long Q-tips. Any skin it touched, it would burn. Daily, Heath and I had to hold Lucy down (it seriously took us both!) and would burn some of this scar tissue off. Lucy hated it. When I asked Dr. A if it hurt her, he said it would cause "mild pain" and "sting a little"...whatever that meant for a 21 month old. I dreaded that time of day. Bandage changing and "burning" was the worst.

The good news was that we no longer had to go see Dr. A! As long as the incision looked good in two weeks, we didn't have to follow up! Music to our ears.

Next thing we knew, the incision looked really odd. "The skin isn't touching anymore, right?" I asked Heath. After further staring and thought, we made an appointment with our regular doctor, Dr. B.

It had popped open. You could tell Dr. B hated telling us this. She went on to tell us, "All children aren't all this bad! I promise!" Then she told the nurse, "At this rate, they aren't going to let me deliver any more!" 

Then, she left to call Dr. A from across the hall. Heath stood by the door, trying to hear the conversation. We were nervous that she would be sending us back to Children's. "Please no," we both pleaded. We heard the conversation end. Dr. B conversed with her nurses and they started gathering supplies. The nurse carried in gauze, sterile water, and bandage tape. Whew! No needles or thread!

Dr. B said that Dr. A shared her same regret with this entire situation. It just never seemed to end! My thoughts were, "You're telling me!?"

We did a week of wet to dry gauze changes, while continuing the burning of scar tissue. Fun times. These dressing changes had to take place twice a day and they were more challenging to get in place. The tape made Lucy's groin so red and it started to actually scab in some places. We tried our hardest to move the tape around and not tape in the same place. There just weren't that many options. We looked for a better tape to use than what the doctor gave us. We found a paper tape; but, it still irritated her leg, if we could get it to stick at all. Ugh!

A week later, I took Lucy back to Children's. We had just finished the burning and the incision was looking better. Dr. A said it looked good too. I was worried; could you blame me?

The outcome - no more dressings! No more tape! No more burning! Just neosporin and a band-aid. I was excited! Oh, and no more Children's Hospital! Yay! Nothing personal; I just don't care to see any of them ever again...

I used all of my excitement to go shopping. It was therapeutic to say the least! :) I even splurged a little and got Lucy the cutest brown, suede boots.

Everything is going well and we are both impressed with how much better the incision looks. Now that Daycare is able to see it, without a dressing covering it up, they didn't think it looked too good. I had to kind of laugh to myself, because it was so much worse before.

Now, please join in my excitement (and prayers that it's true) as I type these two little words...

The End.

Crickets are Scary

With our house being decked out with Halloween decor, Lucy has become fully aware of what a spider is. Until now, she simply paid little to no attention to anything creepy or crawly. However, now, she points out fake spiders yelling, "Pider." Then, she pretends to cringe with fear.

A real bug may be a different story...

I picked Lucy up from daycare one afternoon and we ventured toward the car. It is a pretty descent walk to the car, about a city block's distance. On the sidewalk, Lucy pointed out something and yelled, "pider!"

I leaned over to see a dead Asian beetle, you know those orange lady bug things.  I said, "No. That is a beetle, Lucy."

About that time a cricket jumped on the sidewalk, right next to Lucy.

Her head jerked in the cricket's direction. Her eyes locked on it and widened.

"Ahhhhhh!"

And, she took off running down the sidewalk. She was running on her toes and her arms pumped at her sides. I've never seen her run so fast; she almost fell forward with all of her momentum.

I laughed. I could barely run after her; I was laughing too hard.

I tried to explain that it was a cricket and that it wouldn't hurt her. It didn't do much for comfort. I told her to grab my hand and "Mommy will keep you safe."

The rest of the walk, even once we were at the car, Lucy looked over her shoulder every ten seconds.  She just knew that monster cricket was going to follow us home. :)

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope everyone stays safe tonight as they venture out for trick or treating. Watch out for those crickets! And, remember to watch that traffic while walking door to door. :)

Scary Times: Part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Where were we? Oh yes - everything was better. We were literally driving in the sunshine, discussing how amazing it felt to have the worry taken off of our shoulders. (Is the worry really ever gone though? Really?)

Later that week, we noticed Lucy's groin area was still swollen. We reassured each other that the surgeon, Dr. A, said that it was normal. We were to only watch for a fever and redness. Neither were prevalent; so, there weren't any problems. Right? Right.

As days continued, Lucy was still acting completely normal. She was perhaps even a bit more active and happy than usual. However, we kept our eyes on the swelling. It was obviously more swollen, because it had moved from just her groin area, into her right labia a little bit. Again, he told us this would happen.

On Saturday morning we decided to take a trip to the pumpkin patch. My mom and Alex were going to come too. I was on the phone with my mom when Heath called to me.

"Cori, it's a lot more swollen."

I didn't expect it to see what I saw. It was alarmingly swollen. I say the word 'alarmingly' because everyone kept trying to down-play it to me when I would describe it to them. Once they saw it, their reaction was, "Whoa!" I was simply shocked. I asked Heath, when he changed her diaper this morning was it that bad? He said no. It was almost like it had just puffed up like crazy in just a few hours.

I told my mom about it and told her I was going to call Children's. I had the number for Dr. A still on my phone. However, I knew he had been on call the weekend before, so I wouldn't be getting a hold of him.  Another doctor answered. I introduced myself and Lucy's case. He was not familiar. That part was kind of frustrating. I told him about the swelling and used the word 'alarmingly'. His reaction was blah. As long as she doesn't have a fever and it isn't read, then no big deal. I'm paraphrasing of course.

I got off the phone, looked at her groin again. That can NOT be normal I told myself.

Heath and I thought that maybe we could give her a bath. Dr. A had said that the soap and water was good for her incision. So, she soaked in the tub, playing, for about 20 or 30 minutes. Afterward, it looked...well, almost worse. It now looked a little purplish. Not quite red though.

I thought to myself, if only I could talk to our doctor, Dr. B. Maybe if I called the hospital, they could contact her for me. It was worth a try. I called the hospital and she was there! She was only in for a couple of hours that day and I managed to catch her. (Thank you to whoever was having a baby that day!)

After I told her about it, she suggested that we just make a trip into the E.R.; she wanted to take a look at it. I was still optimistic. I asked my mom (who was also shocked when she saw it) and Alex to ride along. After the hospital trip, we would head to the pumpkin patch.

We arrived at the E.R. Dr. B had us just sit in the waiting room, so we wouldn't be charged for coming into the E.R. How nice was that? We waited about ten minutes. I was nervous. I sat on a steely, diner-type chair against the wall and watched my mom play with Lucy and Alex. She was always so calm and collected in these situations. I couldn't gage Heath. He sat just to the right of me, watching too. He didn't have a nervous tic like I did. My eyes were drawn to my shaking, right-foot. It was crossed over my left leg and my nerves caused it to move erratically side to side. I immediately put both of my feet on the floor and grabbed the chair. I needed to get myself under control.

Dr. B arrived. As soon as we got Lucy's diaper off, she said, "Oh, yeah. Let me call Children's."

She exited the room. We put Lucy's diaper and pants back on. I asked Heath, "Are we headed back to Omaha?"

His reply, with a regretful face, was, "Sounds like it."

Dr. B came back in after speaking to the same doctor I had called just an hour before hand. They decided that since Lucy was acting normal, we could wait to head back up to Omaha until Monday morning at 9 am. Dr. B thought that the abscess had come back and it was more than likely staph again. Finally, she told us that she thought that the surgeon would have to "go in" this time to clean it out. We took that for what it was worth and didn't ask a lot of questions.

We could take Lucy home, not to the pumpkin patch, and watch her. We couldn't give her pain medicine, because we needed to monitor her for a fever. If she had a fever or didn't act like herself, then we needed to go to the Children's E.R. again. I was scared; but, Dr. B was right. Lucy was completely acting normal. She was having so much fun. I knew though that the next two days and nights would be hell on my nerves.

We picked up Lucy's prescription for another anitbiotic (her fourth) at Walmart. She ran around like a maniac - typical Lucy. It was comforting. It wasn't until that evening, that Lucy changed. Ironically enough, when the Cornhuskers went into the locker room for half-time against Ohio State, down by 21 points, Lucy really started to act oddly. We were all feeling a bit queasy...but Lucy was more than just disgusted with the Huskers' performance. She seemed really tired. She didn't want to walk anymore and she had a temperature of 100 degrees. Heath and I decided to take Lucy to Omaha. We knew that we would never feel comfortable about being home and we wouldn't be able to sleep well knowing that she had a low-grade temperature. After packing some bags, we got out of the house around 10:30 pm.

The drive up I just kept asking Heath, "You don't think they will send us home do you?"

I mean, they didn't send us up there right away the first time. Would they dismiss us this time too?

He assured me that we would be staying the night. Lucy slept on the drive, while we listened to the last few minutes of the Husker game. This trip was much different. I wasn't panicking. I was nervous; but, I knew what to anticipate. I was a pro by now at the processes of Children's - right? Well...that is what I kept telling myself.

We got to the E.R. Nobody had a familiar face; it was a whole new staff. We checked in and were immediately ushered to the first check-up room. Wow - that was a change!  The nurse looked her over. She now had a temperature of 102 degrees. I said aloud, "Good thing we left when we did then. I'm glad we came in."

The E.R. nurse said he would get us a room quicker, since Lucy had been there just a few weeks before. And, that he did! We sat in the waiting room for maybe five minutes. I was much more pleased with our experience this time. We entered the E.R. room. I searched for familiar faces at the nurses' station - none.

The E.R. process was similar. I was doing really well. I had already talked myself through it. I knew that she would have to have blood drawn. I knew that they would need to insert an IV. I knew she wouldn't be able to drink. I was prepared to hold her down. I was not, however, prepared for the nurse to poke around in Lucy's arm for a solid two minutes looking for a vein. It was like watching Lucy get tortured. Heath was having a rough time with it, considering his light-headedness. I was annoyed and felt so bad for Lucy. I actually looked at Heath once, huffed, and shook my head.

"START OVER!" I wanted to yell.

We were finally taken to a room upstairs. We had to explain our story another 20 times. This time our story was much longer....well, as you can imagine. I had to go over parts one through three of our scary journey. I tried to remember all of her antibiotics' names, our family history of illnesses, and the many other facts about Lucy's behavior, eating, drinking, peeing, and pooping behavior, etc.

Since they knew Lucy had staph last time, everyone had to wear face masks, disposable gowns, and gloves in the room with us. Heath and I just stood there in street clothes, apparently taking in the infection - ? I figured they didn't want to spread it all over the hospital.

We were finally left alone to sleep at 2:45 am.

They started Lucy on antibiotics. We would have another CT scan in the morning. No one could tell for sure yet if this was staph again. We didn't even know if this was the same abscess or a different one yet.  Time would tell.

- To Be Continued -

Traveling Heart

I'm sure you've noticed; I'm in a funk.

Not a good funk, like The Commodores. A bad funk. My head is in the clouds. My brain is in a fog. My mind is...well, you get the idea.

A piece of my heart has traveled to Texas. And, I'm having a pretty rough time with it.

As most of you know, my dad recently got married and decided to move to Texas. Family, and specifically my dad, is very important to me. I'm sure you've realized my emphasis on family throughout the last year of posts. To add to the problem, I'm not that big on change. Sorry Obama.

When my dad decided to move, I was angry. I consistently fought my sarcastic, surly side; I wanted to say something hurtful or smart alecky. I knew that saying something mean wouldn't make him stay; but, perhaps it would remain in his mind forever. And, that is the reason I held a lot back. I didn't want him to have another reason to leave, like me being mean.

I didn't just hold the anger back. I held the sadness back. It's a common trait among my family members. We're not big on giving into painful emotion. It's much easier to pretend those feelings don't exist. Unhealthy? Absolutely. I have tried to work on it though. My psychology degree forces me to.

The day my dad left, I cried; however, I refused to let it sink in. He's not really moving. He'll be back soon. This is all temporary. My heart and my brain were in constant battle that day, trying to allow the truth in, while avoiding the emotion.

The first week he was gone, I did alright. We had gone a week without seeing each other; so, it was easy to pretend. The second week, it started to really set in. Things I normally held on to, to show him or to tell him about, I realized I would have to do over the telephone or Skype. He wouldn't be stopping by again after work.

Look at me. I talk like someone passed away, right? Whoa is me. But, it seriously is a big deal to me.

I was already feeling down about my dad leaving, then September 11th came and I watched all the horrible coverage, things that I tried to avoid and forget years ago, and then, my brother-in-law got into a terrible accident.  It was all a bit too much for my emotion.

I slowly fell into a funk - a deep, sad, funk.

We had a good weekend and somehow, today, I feel uplifted. I am not even sure why. I just am. Perhaps it's a turning point for me. Let's cross our fingers.

With the, hopefully steep, incline of my mood, there should be some more blog posts. Perhaps it's fall quickly approaching (heck - it might already be here!), that has me smiling. The leaves are falling, the windows are open, and I'm listening to the sweet sounds of football fans and broadcasters. Halloween is near. I have lots of plans for the next month and I'll be sure to share them all with you.

Sorry about the funk. And, I promise to get back with it soon. I will also include the final videos of my running challenge - like I've promised.

Happy September 19th! Smile everyone. It only gets better.

My Top 20 Baby to Toddler Musts

I was thinking the other day, as I was using one of our many 'transition' products, "Wow, I couldn't do without this!" I felt compelled. I just needed to share with someone the awesomeness of the product and tell every mom that they should get one!

Now, here we are. I decided to make another list of my top 20; however, this time, it is for the transition from 'Baby' to 'Toddler'. Many items we purchased a long time ago and we have been using them for months; but, they are becoming even more useful. So, soon-to-be-moms out there: register for these too! You will need them before you know it!

Again, these are in no particular order and most are musts. Some, however, are just Lucy favorites. Enjoy!

1) Dishwasher Basket


We use this every time we put dishes in the dishwasher. It has become a permanent fixture. Unless you hand wash or boil the nipples for bottles (which we did every once in a while), it is impossible to keep them from flipping over in the dishwasher. Then they collect water and need to be washed all over again. Also, the small parts to bottles and sippy cups sometimes slip through the top shelf in the dishwasher; so, putting them inside is great! We also put Lucy's silverware in the basket!


2) Toy Box

I had a toy box growing up. So, this is a pretty 'usual' thing in our family. In fact, after I used mine, we gave it to our cousins. Then after they got older, they gave it back to Lucy! :) The box will go in her big-girl bedroom for all of her random, small toys. It is a great storage place and it hides all of the clutter. Plus, the top is a great place for all of her stuffed animals to sit. :)

3) Outdoor Swing

Lucy used this swing at daycare from the time she could hold her head up, and somewhat sit up on her own. She loved it. In fact, she would sit and swing for a good 20 minutes or so. We hadn't purchased one yet, since winter was coming. But, Lucy just got one for her birthday from Grandma (thanks!). This spring will be filled with swinging. I love the type of latch too; it is near impossible to fall out of. And, it comes in blue and red too.

4) Stacking Cups

Santa Claus got Lucy these for Christmas. It is a Lucy favorite and not a must. However, they are great for learning and development. Lucy and Heath play with these almost every night. They stack them and Lucy knocks them over. They yell into them, put them on each other's heads, and even put them on the dogs. The are so simple and cheap; but, they are one toy she plays with the most.

5) Snack Dispensers

Where would we be without these?! For car rides, they are a must! With dogs who like to steal snacks, they are a must! For babies on the go, they are a must! For babies who get antsy in high chairs, they are a must! Whew! Okay, get my point? They are so helpful!

We use these so often that I wish I had more than just two. We put Gerber Puffs, Crunchies, Yogurt Bites, and even Cheerios in these containers all the time. When you tip it upside down, nothing falls out. Plus, Lucy caught on right away. She didn't struggle with getting snacks out at all. She carries the container around during snack time, whether that be at the house in the living room, in her car seat, or in a shopping cart. She can snack anywhere and not make a huge mess. And, I don't have to do a thing!

6) Sippy Cups

We weaned Lucy off of her bottles pretty early. Almost as soon as she could hold one on her own, we started to integrate sippy cups. We did it because bottles slowly drip and caused a big mess when Lucy would throw hers down. Sippy cups, or more specifically these cups, don't leak. You have to suck or pinch the nipple for it to leak. We can put her to bed with a cup of water and it is no problem at all. She just throws it down when she is done and it there isn't a big wet stain the next morning. These are what we use; they are made by Munchkin.

7) Sun Blockers

These are something you need with an infant too, not just a toddler. However, it seems like we travel a lot more now-a-days. Lucy is finally 'travel-friendly'. Haha. We got this set for both backseat windows in our SUV. They work really well and don't block the view completely. There are only two complaints that I have. 1) The heat warning dot turned white once and never went back. Not a big deal though. 2) The bottom suction cups are either amazing (you can't get them off the window) or they are horrible (you can't get them to stick). I think it has to do with the temperature of the window. In the cold, not so helpful!

8) Popcorn Puffs (Cheesy Optional)

When Lucy first started eating semi-solid food, I remembered popcorn puffs. I used to love them as a child because they literally would disintegrate in your mouth. Since they are only $2 at the store, what an affordable snack?! Although they aren't as nutritional at Gerber products, Lucy loves them. We used the plain ones as an occasional snack when she was little and now that she is older, we have integrated the cheese ones. She really loves those! Warning: the child may become addicted. ;)

9) Music Play Table

As soon as Lucy could pull herself up, she played with one of these at daycare. She would play until her little legs got tired. Grandma Jeannie got her one for Christmas (thanks!) and now she plays at our house all the time. She dances to the music, moves all the little gadgets and I have even caught her trying to repeat the colors and sounds. It is great for development.

10) Outlet Plugs

Of all the baby-proofing items out there, this one is the most needed in our house. Lucy thinks plug-ins are so neat. And, our house was built fairly recently; so, we have a ton of outlets. In addition, I have found that these help put my mind at ease for other things too. We usually fold our blankets and put them behind our love seat. Sometimes they topple over and I find them pushed up against one of our outlets. I always get freaked out about it possibly starting a fire. So, I covered the outlets with these! I feel so much better now! :) Irrational? Eh, what's the price of peace of mind?

11) Crib Music Box

Lucy has two music boxes (thanks Mimi!). One is very similar to the one above. It is more of a fun item for Lucy to play with until she falls asleep. The other has 'cry recognition'. It's amazing! We turn it on at night and it plays a lullaby for 15 minutes and then fades out. It even has a light that shines on the ceiling. Then, if Lucy starts crying, it recognizes the pitch and starts playing again for 15 minutes. Sometimes we don't even have to get up with her, the box will comfort her back to sleep! It sucks a lot of batteries; but, it is worth it! Warning: high-pitched chihuahua barking sometimes sets it off too. :{

12) Fleece Jacket

Heath and I have read that you are not supposed to put your baby in their car seat with a big winter jacket on. It claimed that the car seat isn't being as effective. So, we try not to do this with Lucy. It's tough with Midwest winters! So, we usually bundle her in stocking caps and blankets. With her carrying car seat, it wasn't a problem lugging her back and forth. Now, with her big girl car seat, we can't do that anymore. So, we use one of these little jackets in addition to the blankets (thanks Mimi!).

13) Formula/Snack Dispensers

We used something very similar to this when Lucy a newborn. We used them for formula. You could measure out the formula into these and just throw them in the diaper bag. I highly recommend them for that use! It beats trying to lug around a big container or buy those expensive packets.

Now, that Lucy is older we can use if for small snacks. They aren't really as good as the snack dispensers, like above; however, it would be nice to send with her when she is getting babysat. Not everyone has Cheerios in the house. :)

14) Faucet Cover

This has saved a lot of bumps on the head! Granted, we aren't as careful because we know the faucet is covered; but, it helps nonetheless. He is great! Lucy likes him, he covers all the sharp parts of the faucet, and she can't pull on the shower knob!

15) Cardboard Books

Right now Lucy destroys any book that isn't cardboard. She is in a tearing stage. :( Sad day for my magazines. She loves to look at books and jabber. We joke that she is imitating us reading them to her. Her favorite is 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'. It has smaller pages; so, she can turn them easily. And, the colors are vibrant too!

16) Cabinet Locks

Another baby-proofing item that we got were these, or something similar. There are so many locks out there and we have found that we had to get different ones for different kinds of knobs. Our kitchen and bathroom cabinets have handles and the corner cabinet and TV stand have knobs. So, be careful buying and it will be worth it!

17) Bumbo Tray

I never really recommended the Bumbo before; sorry about that. I do though. It is a nice addition. However, you really can't have the Bumbo without the tray! Even at one year old, we put Lucy in here for snack time. It is a nice change from the high chair. Plus, she likes being on the floor, next to her toys and the chihuahuas.

18) Boogie Wipes

One splurge that is worth it! Okay, they aren't that expensive; but, they are worth the money! These wipes are very soft, softer than diaper wipes. They also have saline in them to help their little noses. And, they smell good. Lucy would cry when we would use tissues or damp cloths. She actually allows these. They also fit nicely in the diaper bag.

19) Bath Bucket

This is it! The item that was so awesome that I had to recommend it. I know, I know. Anyone who has been down the baby aisle at Walmart has seen these. But, if you are like me, your first thought was that it probably didn't work that well. Wrong! It does! It is amazing. I really don't know how people get all the soap out without one of these. I've become spoiled. Lucy has even learned to tilt her head back for me.

20) Baby Gate, Extreme

We broke down and bought one. We had been blocking our stairs for a long time now and finally broke down this last weekend. Lucy cannot and will not stay off of the stairs. A regular baby gate isn't cutting it either; they just aren't long enough and don't work well with open staircases. We need one that doesn't mount to the wall (I don't want to drill holes!) and that has a gate. Plus, I think our chihuahuas just may be able to slip through too. Haha.

Online portions of this gate were around stairs, a fire place, and a entertainment center. It is great for 'cornering' items in.

Those are my recommendations for the 6 month to 18 month range. I will be sure to share any other wonder-products that I find along the way. Any mothers out there want to add any items or comments?