Responsibility Advice

I recently had a mother of one contact me about going to grad-school and parenting. She wanted to know "how I do it." I laughed. Who the hell am I to be giving any advice? For all she knows I go home, starve the girls, and lock them in their rooms...but, I was humbled. I didn't really know what to say. I let the email sit in my inbox for a couple of days before replying. When I did reply, this is what I said...

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It is great to hear from you. And, when it comes to being a multi-tasking mom, I seriously hear you! I had such a hard time transitioning to my "new life" and that was back when I wasn't going to school. So, having a second baby and then applying to Grad School was basically terrifying. I completely understand your concern! I do have some advice, but I want to make sure I am completely clear - I still fail. I try. I try to be the best at everything that I can. But, some days the house is a complete wreck. Some days I order a pizza and don't cook supper. Some days I am so stressed to the max that I get short with Lucy and Olive, cry in the corner, and then beg for forgiveness. It is tough. I just don't think that we can be "the best" at it all. I've tried several times and I have failed every single time. Just when I think I am getting into the swing of things, I realize that my relationship with Heath is suffering, or my friendships. Or, that I can't find time to just sleep, or think, or be by myself for two seconds!

I digress...

So, here is my advice and feel free to ignore me.

1) Forget your life pre-baby
I think my greatest milestone as a new mom was finally letting go of my "old life." I had a hard time. I kept thinking that everything was going to be the same, just with a baby. It literally took me about 2.5 years to figure this out. Things will have to be adjusted and concessions will be made.

2) Lean on your hubby
Heath is fantastic. But, I like to take a little bit of credit for getting him there. :) I am always an open book with him. I tell him when I am reaching my limit. He has really helped me pick up the slack and has come to know what really bothers me. I can't stand dishes in the sink; but, dust can wait until I have time...That kind of stuff. He has learned that there will be concessions when it comes to housework. So, a few rooms in our house (our bedroom and the toy room) will never be clean. We have finally come to terms with this.

3) Schedule "you" time
When I was a new mom I felt like if I wasn't spending every second of my free-time with Lucy, then I was a bad mother. I was so upset that I was already missing out on so much during the day, with her at daycare. But, I soon realized that I was having major burnout. I would try to do too much and then get short with Lucy. I was with her, but the shared time wasn't good. So, I schedule homework days, or homework nights, or even days away. Don't ever feel guilty for doing this - ever. It's not the quantity of time, it is the quality of time.

4) Schedule "us" time
Seriously, along with the previous one, take time to spend with your hubby. It is amazing how silly "the dishes" or "taking out the trash" can seem when you both are in good graces. But, if you are both stressed, you will end up bickering about something silly, something not even worth fighting about. So, once a week, if possible, take a night to go out, or order a movie, or something with just the two of you. It will make the household chores seem like less of a priority, which really, aren't they?

5) Remember this: When you die, no one will remember you for how clean your house was
You will be remembered as a wife, a mom, and so on. I learned this from my Uncle Matt and it is so true! Pick your battles and try to remember what really matters.

6) Indulge

Get that coffee from Starbucks. Buy those earrings. Every once in a while, we all need something to keep our sanity. Mine is the sweet, sweet flavors of a large diet-coke with vanilla from Sonic. :) It fuels me to get homework done. Seriously.

7) June Cleaver doesn't exist!

I kept thinking I should be able to do it all. But, to be honest, I don't think it is possible. I seriously don't. Something has GOT to give. Mine is the housework and sleep. Yes - I still get overwhelmed with it and hate when people come over and things aren't perfect. But, I have just learned what really gets under my skin and what doesn't, and prioritize accordingly. During the week, no housework gets done. I cook supper, do dishes, and try to pick-up the girls' rooms. The weekend is for housework and maybe not all of it. These Pinterest and Blogging moms are struggling too, they just aren't as honest (or they don't work full-time, or go to school). Sleep? Well, I love it so much. I catch up on the weekends or take naps with the girls. :)

9) Also, remember this: You are not alone. 

And, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Before we know it, our kids will be big and we won't know what to do with ourselves.

10) Having two is not much more work than one, as long as your husband helps out. Keep that in mind for future babies. :) The biggest obstacle is going back to those toddler days, where you can't take them anywhere for long periods of time (grocery shopping sucks, etc.).

I hope I helped in some way. Those are the things getting me by. But, my classes started up again this week and I'm already stressing. That's okay; I will just pick up my Sonic drink on the way home and wait until the girls go to sleep until I start homework.



Heath is also fantastic. He really is. I could never do any of this without him. He is a great husband and father. He supports me emotionally and he supports my education. He picks up so much of my slack. I am forever grateful for him. I hope that everyone has that type of support!

You will do great. If not, you will figure it out. I promise. I am always here to listen.

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Any advice that any other parents would give to a new mother, trying to take on other responsibilities? Besides calling them crazy... :)

Lucy-isms: Big Girl Edition

Lucy is such a big girl! Time is flying and it makes me sad. But, that is why I cherish the conversations that I have with her while she is still 3 years old (for only about a month more). Here is a conversation we had before bedtime...

"Momma, is God proud of us?"

"I'm sure he is, if we are nice and caring to others."

"I will see God in Heaven. I will see Chico too. He will lick, lick my face. I will be all swobbery. He be happy to see me."

(Laughing) "Yes. He will be! But, that won't happen until you are really, really old."

"Old like you Momma?"

(Laughing) "No. Hopefully, much older!"

"Old like Daddy?"

"No, I hope and pray that you are old, and gray, and have lots of wrinkles."

"Am I going to be a giant or what?"

"No. You will stop growing. But, we continue to age. Our skin gets wrinkly and our hair turns gray. We get old."

"Hmmmm....I will get married and have grandchildren."

"Yes. I pray that you do get married, have children, and grandchildren."

"Momma, who will I marry?"

"We don't know. It may be someone you know, or it may be someone you haven't met yet."

"Ask me who I will marry..."

"Okay, who are you going to marry?"

"No. Ask me who!"

"Oh, will you marry Max?"

(Finger on her chin) "Hmmm.....maybe."

"Will you marry Bryson?"

"That's a good one, Momma! I pick that one."

She makes me laugh so much. I love our conversations. After that, she rolled over and asked me to turn out the light. :) I love that little girl so much.

The Mother & the Teacher

The mother and the teacher. No, not the daughter. You see, Lucy is teaching me sometimes much, much more than I am teaching her. When you see yourself or hear yourself through your child's eyes, well...it is humbling, amazing, heart-warming, a bit terrifying, and sometimes seriously upsetting.

You know those typical stories of the parent who pushes their child to be like them or follow the path that they want? You know, Varsity Blues, Ice Princess, She's All That - that kind of stuff.

"I don't want your life." - Dawson Leary, or whatever his name was on Varsity Blues

or

"You can't quit. This is your dream!" - Mother
"No, mom. It's your dream." - Daughter

I watch those and think, "Pssshhhh...silly parents. Who is so blind that they push their kids like that?"

Well, I may not be that extreme. But, I do see myself pushing Lucy to do things a certain way, say things a certain way, and so on. Then, I am somehow brought back to reality....usually with a metaphorical punch to the gut that leaves me reeling.

What do you see when you look at this photo?

I imagine that most of you will note the pure pride and joy that is plastered across that beautiful face of Lucy's. She is so happy. I bet she really was! She loves crafts and especially painting. I even chuckle a bit when I think about that goofy grin of hers. But, when I see it, I am struck with guilt. My stomach does one of those flips and my heart sinks a bit. I feel a small failure pumping through my veins.

You see, Lucy brought this particular piece of art-work home with her. She was proud. I told her that I loved it; but, truly, I was a bit concerned. It was a blob of black on construction paper. It had bits of green and purple too. But, together, the three colors created a dark, border-line creepy picture. When I looked at it, I saw sadness. I acted happy for Lucy, and well, I really was proud that she painted it herself. I couldn't help myself though; I told her that next time she could use happy colors, like yellow or red - bright and cheery. She completely shrugged me off...like the complete jerk that I was. Good for her.

Then, about a week later, this picture was posted on her preschool's Facebook page. I am a jerk. Look at the colors she had to work with...green, black, purple, and orange. No yellow. No red. I sunk into the awful lesson that I had just learned. I had judged. I had judged my own child. Here I am, thinking that she has some type of deep-seated sadness that came out through 10 minutes of painting time. But, does that child look sad to you? She had no other color options. I bet she didn't even mind. She did what she could, with what she had. Shame on me for assuming anything else...

Today I looked at Lucy and realized that she is growing so fast. There are so many things that I was not and am not prepared for as a parent - things I didn't even think about! But, I am learning and trying my best. I guess that is all we can do...

I forgave myself. The guilt remains; but, I'm okay with that. It's a good reminder...

Lesson learned.
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Whomp, whomp. I know. Sorry to be a downer. I think it is a nice reminder to take things lightly. But, most importantly, I want the girls to know that I recognize that I am making mistakes. I get it. They will also make parenting mistakes. It's inevitable to fail in life in multiple ways. The most important thing is to recognize it, learn from it, and move forward. :)

I will try to continue with the blog posts as much as possible. Occasional posts are better than none, right? My thoughts exactly. We are doing better. I still have my sad days. I have a lot of stressful days (grad school). Overall, though, we are doing well. We are happy and healthy and I couldn't ask for anything more. Welcome 2014! I hope you all have a wonderful year, filled with love and happiness!

Explaining to Lucy

I apologize for beating this horse. It is still weighing heavily on my heart. But, I am hopeful that one day we will find comfort, and perhaps add another beautiful baby to our family.

I did want to share a story with you all though. I am not sure what you think about this, or what I think about it. But, it strikes me as eerily comforting.

When we first told Lucy about the baby, she was excited. She had told us that Olive was a girl before we found out, and had been generally right about guessing genders of babies. So, we, of course, asked her what the baby's gender was. Her reply was, "A girl and a boy."

We obviously took this as twins. So, we would laugh. I would ask, "How many babies are in mommy's tummy?"

She insisted, "One."

But, she would always follow-up with, "Then, a boy."

We just shrugged her off as a three-year-old who was misunderstanding things. I asked her again a couple of days later. Same story.

"A girl, then a boy."

"One baby."

So, she was consistent. But, I just dropped it.

When we found out that our little one went to Heaven, I thought about Lucy's comments. I didn't know what to think about them.

The sad day then came that Lucy said something to me about the baby in my belly. I sat down with her and told her that mommy didn't have a baby in her tummy anymore and that the baby went to Heaven to be with Jesus.

"The baby went to Heaven? To be with Jesus?"

"Yes, hunny." I started to cry.

"Why are you crying, Momma?"

"It just makes me sad."

Then, she said something that reached my soul. I'll never forget it. She bowed her head down in sadness and asked me...

"Momma, the boy is coming now?"

I just hugged her and told her, "Someday, maybe."

I didn't know what to think or do. Could it be that Lucy knew? Could it be that she was to provide us with comfort? For some reason it does bring me comfort, like this was God's plan and he let Lucy in on the secret.

Just felt like sharing...

Peek into Our Home

Family arrives home from the movies. It's late. The girls should have been in bed an hour ago and morning is going to come way too early.

Mom and Dad dump themselves out of the vehicle. Mom lets out a slight huff, thinking about carrying in all of the stuff and children from the car. She grabs her purse, half-empty fountain drink, and stands next to the car. Dad lets the toddler out of the car and goes to grab the baby. He hands the diaper bag to mom and they both trudge inside.  Dad sings a song to the chihuahuas as he lets them outside to go to the bathroom.

"Who wants ta go potttttaaay? Whhhooooo wants ta go Potttaaay?"

The toddler bops her head to the tune, as she steps heavily up each stair, as she refuses to use the rail for assistance.

Mom drops all of her stuff on the kitchen table, since that seems to be where all things gather. She promptly goes to the bathroom to relieve her child-ruined bladder.

Dad comes upstairs and walks by said bathroom. Mom sees him since the door has been left wide open.

He lays the baby down in the hallway, facing mom's tennis shoes in the bathroom. Mom and baby exchange a few words and coos of nonsense.

Procrastinating putting baby or toddler to sleep, mom lays down on the hallway floor with baby. Remembering how much weight she needs to lose, mom starts doing crunches and leg lifts.

At some point dad and toddler end up in the kitchen, eating left-over banana nut muffins.

Dad runs around the house being hyperactive per usual. He is downstairs, in the kitchen, in the bedroom...all while chomping on a banana nut muffin he ate in two bites.

Mom hears gurgle from baby. After lifting her head, she sees a small pile of sweet potatoes, baby's dinner, on the beige carpet. Mom yells for dad while running to the kitchen for a towel, "She threw up a little bit!"

With this announcement, the toddler comes running from the kitchen, muffin in her mouth, yelling, "She frew up a lettle bit?"

Dad laughs and yells, "Oh, don't worry about it, hun. She is smashing it into the carpet."

The family all meets in the hallway, circling baby. Baby is, indeed, smashing the orange slime into the carpet. She is very proud of herself.

Toddler declares, "Oh, crap!"

With further review, mom decides she actually said, "Oh, crack!" But, with the same intention.

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Announcer voice: "Check back, next month, for another Peek into Our Home." ;)

Dear...

Dear Readers...I am fully aware that I am absent from this blog and have been for months now. I keep promising you that I will change and I continue my evil ways. Sorry. I look at it this way - it's better to write a few times a month than not at all. Truth be told - I have had this particular post prepped and almost ready to go for several weeks now. (tsk-tsk)

Dear Lucy...fedoras are in. Or, well, at least they were last year. I don't know if they are still. But, they have been "in" fairly recently. So, when you get older, don't ridicule me. You love this hat. In fact, you picked it out yourself. It's a Fe-"Dora" hat. Love that joke!

Dear Readers...I often feel compelled to use "haha" and "LOL" on my blog. As you have probably noticed as well, I usually give into this temptation. I have also used emoticons against my better "writing-style" judgement [  :)  ;)  :(  ]. But, lately, my overwhelming urge to use slang and hashtags is getting the best of me.  
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Dear Everyone...I am completely obsessed with coral lately. It's serious. I LOVE it. I think it may have taken over my red obsession. #Legit

Look at the clothing that I am trying on, hanging to my right. Seriously obsessed!

 

Dear Work...You need to be a little less stressful. I'm trying to grow out my nails and you are making it very difficult. Any time I stop typing, I'm biting my nails. Darn!

Dear Olive...Your cry-smiling is very confusing. Are you happy or sad? I don't know what to do! (Come to find out, you just want to be held.) :)

Dear Twitter...You got me. I'm addicted. You've taken over Pinterest. But, I still love Pinterest for great organization and decor tips.

Dear Curly-Haired People...What in the world am I to do with this? It's sooo naturally curly! :)

Dear Summer...Why do you and winter want to take over spring? What did he ever do to you? Let him go...

Dear Olive...You look like me. Some may say its a curse. I say it's a blessing. ;) I love that you look like me, especially when you make your "duh" face. I don't know how I feel about that part though. Does that mean that I look "duh" most of the time?


Dear Readers...Although I often times promise things, I sincerely think you can look forward to posts about the zoo, graduate school, running, and of course the girls! :) I have some in progress!

Dear Jari, Hannah, & Nikki...Vegas was amazing and I can't wait to go back again. Seriously, lets do it again. #srsly

Dear Anyone Who Loves Food as Much as I Do...If you love a good cheeseburger and homemade onion rings, you need to find yourself a Johnny Rockets. It is delicious. I may or may not have eaten there three days in a row, while in Vegas. The closest one to us is like hours and hours away. But, I tweeted them and they promised me that they will eventually get to Kansas City. Haha. They are also "Home of the Las Vegas Squealer - with cheddar cheese." The Squeeler is 60% beef and 40% bacon. That sounds awesome, but my lack of gallbladder won't let me eat bacon. Whomp-whomp.

  Dear June...Where did you come from?! Wasn't it just May 1st?

Lucy's Love Triangle

Now, Lucy is a little confused about the concept, since she will occasionally refer to boys as her 'girlfriend' as well. Nonetheless, she considers herself to have "boyfriends" at DayCare.

It all started when Lucy was a baby. She has gone full-time to DayCare since she was 6 weeks old. Also at DayCare? Her friend Max, who is also a full-time "go-er." Remember Max? :)

We've given Lucy some grief about Max, her "boyfriend." She actually liked this concept. Well, she loved it. She would even call him that herself. She was even the only, non-family girl that went to his birthday party (she got him a Ninja Turtle - what else?).


 Then, one weekend she started saying things, like, "Let's do this, man." Or, "Yeah, dude."

I knew that there had to be a male influence at DayCare, possibly even Max. Of course there was! Lucy is really the only girl that is full-time. She is surrounded by boys her age; I can count eight boys her age off the top of my head. I know there are more. It results in her talking about Superman, Spiderman, Batman, and Ninja Turtles. It hasn't suppressed her love for pink and princesses, but it definitely broadens her view...

Then, one day when we picked Lucy up, another mother (my co-worker actually) was also picking up her children. Her youngest son, who is about 9 months or so older than Lucy puts his jacket on, turns to Lucy, and says, "See you later, man!"

Ah-ha.

The little boy's name is Bryson. I have noticed that Lucy has referenced him a lot lately. Bryson did this or Bryson did that. She even told me when Bryson was sick. She calls him, "By-sin."

So, the other day, Lucy, Olive, and I are waiting for Heath to come pick us up. Max and his mom come out. Max looks up at his mom and says, "Lucy's my girlfriend." It was adorable.

Lucy shouts, "No - Bryson my girlfriend!"

Max didn't seem to mind too much, he still smiled at Lucy with a big grin. Us mothers just laughed. Oh boy, it begins!

Move to later in the week, we went out to eat. We see Bryson and his family. Lucy stood almost the entire time, to see his table, while grinning coyly. I asked her, "Do you see Bryson?"

She says, "Yeah. I like By-sin. He's my favorite."

Later in the evening she told Heath that, "By-sin is sooooo cute."

I thought the whole thing was hilarious and adorable. Heath, on the other hand, didn't seem to really give it much attention. I think he was kind of thinking that this couldn't possibly be happening already.

So, there you have it - Lucy and her love triangle.

I have a feeling Max will be "her boyfriend" again soon, man. :)

Lucy-isms

Lucy and I get out of the car at Walmart.

"Wook a schoo bus."

I turn around to this...

 

I laugh and say aloud, to myself, "That is funny."

Lucy looks at me, puzzled, "Wail, kinda schoo bus."

Motherhood

I think I am finally into the swing of things!

My brain has finally wrapped around the idea that my house will forever be an unorganized mess of unfolded laundry, scattered toys, and random burp cloths and socks everywhere! Although when they are teens I expect that those items will be replaced with dirty laundry, drinking cups or pop cans, and their shoes...

Although my house is a complete disaster, I am more at ease with it than ever. Take that however you want. It doesn't mean that I've given up and we will live in a pig pen the rest of our lives. It just means that I have finally realized what my Uncle Matt was trying to tell me. The dirty, unorganized house is the trade off to having little kids and a full-time job. It happens. I have accepted that. One room gets clean and another gets dirty. Got it. And, the dishes will need to be done nightly to keep them contained. Otherwise, they come heaping up out of the sink and we start to creatively stack them to keep the tower going. The great plus to that is that the sink can be seen when someone steps foot into our house. It's a great first impression - a real statement maker.

Moving on...

I've heard moms say that they were much more overprotective of their first one than the second. I think that is true to a certain extent. I was pretty damn psycho with Lucy; I'll be the first to admit that. I was seriously bat-shit crazy.With Olive am I just as "cray-cray?" You bet your ass I am.

I apologize for the cussing. I feel compelled. Perhaps it is that I am watching too much Breaking Bad, yo!

Anyway, with Olive I am just as crazy. I just do a much, much better job of two things: 1) suppressing my crazy and 2) being more assertive.

I have learned that as crazy and paranoid as I am that there are certain things out of my control. With Lucy, I used to stay awake at night worrying about her. I know it didn't do any good. So, with Olive for instance, if I have a fan going to keep air circulating, remove all blankets from the crib, and make sure she isn't too hot, I have done almost everything I can to prevent SIDS. It is in God's hands after that. All I can do is pray with all my heart and soul and hope that is enough.

I am also much better at being more assertive. I think that possibly comes with age or something. I am just way more outspoken these days (bad thing sometimes). But, as I get older I yearn for approval less and less. Plus, I think I feel more confident about the people around me. I know that they love me for me and will accept me, even if I ask them to not put Olive to sleep with a blanket. They know I'm crazy; what's new?

So, in my book, is the second one easier? Yes - in all ways possible. Olive is an easier baby and I am more composed as a mother.

I have finally settled into motherhood; it only took 3 years. I sincerely think it took that long to forget my life pre-Lucy and to completely let go of it. Now, don't get me wrong. I would never ever in my wildest dreams go back or give up my babies, now or before. But, I just kept comparing everything to the way it was before. I somehow expected the house to be as clean, for things to be as organized, for getting ready to take the same time, for my body to go right back to the way it was, for Heath and I to have as much time together. I thought that everything would be the same, just with a baby, happiness, zoo trips, vacations, and a few diapers. It is so, so much more. I don't think anything, ANYTHING, can properly prepare you for the physical, emotional, and mental journey that is parenting.

In conclusion, Olive had great timing. She just so happened to come when I had my greatest epiphany yet. Judge my house, judge my crazy, but just know - I am a mother. :)

Additional Thoughts:

• This post does not get me out of having occasional melt downs about how unorganized the house is and how little time I have to be superwoman. They will still happen on rare occasion; trust me.
• I highly recommend Breaking Bad, but it is super graphic and cussy. What do you expect? It's about meth. Thanks to my Uncle, Aunt, and cousins.

Judging

People are judgy. They are. It's just a fact. Even if they don't comment on you in a malicious way, they still have an opinion about the way you are living your life. Now, I realize that when I say people that totally includes me. I find myself being judgy. I hate it. I seriously do. I don't want to be so judgey. In fact, after I say something really bitchy, I usually regret it later. If my mind could just keep up with my mouth, we'd be fine.

Are there things that you don't talk about, because you are afraid that people will judge you? Or, disagree and make things awkward?

Hopefully, I am not alone in these things. I would like to think that someone else out there feels that way too. But, sometimes it is just nice to vent - to let it all out there. Take me as you will.

1. I like McDonalds. I like it a lot. I am super sad/angry that they nixed the super sizes of french fries. I like it so much in fact, you know that picture that has circulated the web? The one with that pink ice cream looking stuff, that is supposedly processed chicken? It doesn't bother me. I could sit and eat an entire box of 20 chicken McNuggets while staring at that picture.
2. I do not take a shower everyday. In fact, I will go several days without washing my hair.
   
3. When Olive couldn't quite hold the bottle on her own and I was is in the same room, I would occasionally prop her bottle to cook supper. Keep in mind, before you call CPS, I was in the same room.
4. Until very recently, I didn't go to church frequently. This has nothing to do with my relationship with God. As a result though, I cannot routinely quote the Bible. 
5. I breastfed the girls for about 5 to 6 weeks, but I didn't love it. I did it strictly for Lucy and Olive. If it were for me, I would go straight to the bottle.
   
6. I am a child of divorce. I think that it was best for my parents. It was hard at the time, but it was best for everyone's future. 
7. I do not floss regularly. I know I should.
8. I give my dogs kisses, which allows them to lick my face. Yes. I know. They lick their butts.  
9. I wear jeans several times before putting them in the wash.
10. I have a filthy, filthy car. That includes the junk and trash in the doors and the dust on the dash.
11. I am horrible at stacking clothing at the end of the bed, until my closet is half empty. When people come over, I have to shut our bedroom door.
12. I take the occasional picture of myself for no good reason other than the fact that I have put on makeup and dressed halfway descent (#selfie). 
13. I don't wash my makeup off at night.
14. I like Alanis Morrisette. I do. I listen to 'The Collection' while I run. It's very angry.
15. I bite my nails and cuticles. It is a nasty habit. It gets worse with boredom or nervousness.

Well, now you know all of my life's dirty details - or, at least 15 of them.

One day, I'm sure I will regret not taking "better care of myself."  But, at 27, I've accepted my bad habits. I know better. But, it's up to me.


What are you afraid people will judge you on?

Dear Cori

Dear Cori of 2023:

First of all, Happy New Year! Was 2022 all that you imagined it would be? Hell no. Is it ever? Can we ever really predict what this crazy world will bring us? No. If you think you can, tsk-tsk. You, my friend, are taking things for granted.

Anyway, Cori of 2023, the 2013 version of you is quite the know-it-all, smart ass, huh? Agreed.

I thought I would take a moment and remind you of a few things - things that you may want to remember about these days, here is 2013.

Lucy is 3 years old. She has the cutest little toddler voice, all high pitched and her 'L' is a 'W' sound. "Wucy Kisstensen." I cringe at the thought of her ever losing this sweet little voice. She calls you momma too. When she gets really excited, she yells, "Momma! Momma!" It makes my heart smile.

Olive is 6 months old. She is quickly growing out of the cuddle stage. But, she is still allowing you to hold her during her naps, while she makes cute baby snores. This morning, she was staring out of her crib, across the hall. Between the crib slats all you could see were her beautiful, bright eyes. You got a good chuckle out of her goofy smile when you walked into her bedroom.

Heath is currently working three jobs, like the sterotypical man-provider he wants to be. He is working at the College, teaching for them, and doing two new websites as a freelancer. He is still trying to treat you like a princess. He is doing a pretty good job too. The two of you are closer now than you ever were in your almost 12 years together. The other night you apologized to him for the horrendous mess you call a bedroom and master bathroom. He said, "Thank you for saying that. But, I'm just used to it by now." Appreciating our strengths and accepting our weaknesses.

Remember these days? The days where you felt like you didn't have enough time. Your probably think that is silly in 2023. Lucy is 13 now, for you. You would probably love to talk to her about her day, phone-free, and sit by her bed at nighttime talking to her before bed, explaining who the Easter Bunny is, where Santa Claus lives, and why we pray.

You are currently still trying to lose those pesky pounds that you put on when you were pregnant with Olive. It sure is getting harder, as I'm sure you know better now than ever. You can do it though. You have successfully lost 20 lbs at 21 and 49 lbs at 24. What is 52 lbs, really? Remember these silly struggles, just in case you are still battling weight. Turkey and chicken are your friends. But, apparently not close enough friends that you won't eat them...

Chico and Squirty are getting older, but still amazingly loving and hilarious. You laughed pretty hard at Chico the other day when he coughed really hard and let out a big, squeaky toot at the same time. They love you so much and would follow you anywhere. I truly believe that. If you are sitting, they are on your lap. Although they are still terrified of Lucy, they love Olive so much. Chico likes her too much actually. You can't keep him from licking her face. But, we are noticing how old they are getting. Chico is coughing a lot and he can't jump on the furniture very easily. Squirt seems to always be at your feet and doesn't get out of the way like she used to. Both of their eyes are getting foggy. It breaks our heart. But, I know that you remember them fondly, just as we do Co-Co. She has been gone for almost 3 1/2 years and we still talk about her. Better to love and have lost, than to never have loved them at all.

Advice from your younger self:
-  You will never be younger than you are right now. Don't fret about the wrinkles on your neck or your non-glowing skin. Embrace it. It's all down hill from here; this we know.
- You are 27 and can barely stay off Twitter and Facebook. Remember this when Lucy won't put her phone down for 5 seconds. Plus, I am talking about an iPhone 5. Lucy's iPhone 15 will be much, much better!
- If you haven't already, go to Disney World. Go on a Disney Cruise. Do it all now before Lucy gets to be 'too cool' for you, or runs off to college.

I hope this email finds you, Heath, and the girls all well. A lot can happen in ten years - wonderful, amazing things and heart wrenching things as well. The future is always scary. You never know what it holds. The 'unknown' is borderline terrifying. You just have to trust in God. Trust in your relationship. Trust in your parenting. Trust in yourself.

"Lord, help me remember that nothing will happen today that you and I can't handle together."

See you in ten years. Whew...seems like a long time. I better not blink though.

Love,

Cori

Sisters

I can't even begin to describe how my heart bursts when I think of the relationships between Lucy and Olive. When people ask how Lucy has been with the transition of having a baby in the house, I can honestly answer that it more than we could have ever asked for.

Yes. They will fight. They will scream. They will pull each other's hair. One of them will probably claw the other one's arms. One will throw their red cowgirl boots at the other. One will whack the other in the forehead with a broom.

Lucy will whine to me that Olive won't leave her and her friends alone. Olive will cry because Lucy no longer wants to take baths with her.

 
But, they will also share secrets. They might tell each other just one of the presents under the Christmas tree. They will join forces to beg for cookies and to go to the pool. They will takes baths together and drink each other's butt water. You know it's true...

Perhaps Lucy will drive Olive around, cruising for boys. Olive will talk Lucy into letting her do things that she shouldn't.


There will be nights that they gather in front of the television, with a spoon each, eating out of a pan of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

They will share clothes and makeup. They will secretly use each other's perfume, hoping the other won't notice. And, when clothes go missing, they will know exactly where to look.

Hopefully, they will spend summer nights belting out their favorite songs as loud as they can scream, laughing at incorrect lyrics and flat notes.

They will be able to just give each other a look, knowing what the other is thinking. This will often get them into trouble, especially during completely unacceptable, serious situations.


I will be stuck yelling, "Girls!" in my stern mother voice. Or, pretend to be appalled while announcing, "You two!"

They will fight. Yes. They will love. Yes. They will have a special relationship that cannot compare to any other. It just simply can't be compared.

But, right now, they are over the moon for each other. No fighting. No annoyance. No "sharing" issues. I am basking it all. My heart melts when they giggle together, over something as silly as making a tooting noise with their mouths.

They will take care of each other. I just know it.

Thank the Lord for my babies. And, thank the Lord for sisters. :)

Big Girl

Lucy is 3 years old.

It is blowing my mind. She is such a big girl. Although, she is just a baby in my heart...the young lady that she is becoming is keeping me on my toes!

She likes clothes, shoes, bows, nail polish, makeup, lip stick, jewelry, sparkles, coats, scarves, fixing hair, and above all the color pink! She is a girly girl to the core.

Yes. She is still a kid though and plays in the dirt, in her cavatini, and lays on the floor.

But, she is looking at her Highlights magazine! She also looks through our mail, clothing catalogs, and my gossip magazines. Oh, and forgive my uncleaned floors...

She tries to stay little, like her sister. But, the poor thing is just getting too big. She is thinning out too; her little baby fat is disappearing...

She is playing with "big girl" toys too. She has a ton of Barbies and accessories now! I have even let her play with the Barbie shoes and small purses. 

Now, instead of the continuous moping around about my first baby growing into a little girl. Let's celebrate her achievements.

Lucy Milestones:

• She is using the potty all the time now.
• She is even waking up in the middle of the night to have us take her potty, with no wet morning pull-ups.
• She ate her entire soft taco the other night! Yes. This is worth celebrating. The only thing that she really goes to town on is canned Spaghettios. Yuck.
• She can and will paint your toenails. Just ask Heath.
• She has memorized two prayers.
• And, she has become the best big sister ever! She is always helping Olive and trying soothe her when she is upset. I have never seen such love! My heart melts. Related post to come later.
• She does the Goof-bot (the robot dance Goofy does on Mickey Mouse club house). 
• She can spell 'Lucy' and 'Mickey Mouse.' 
• She can even write her name, if she is looking at an example.

I just don't know what I'll do when she starts preschool next fall. Bah!  

Birth Story: Part 3

This is the final installation of the three part story, that is Olive's birth. :) Nothing like 5 months later...

After the actual laboring and birthing, we get to all the oohing and awing that I did. Also, I should really discuss the pain I felt afterward as well. To be honest though, I have forgotten most of it. I waited too long and those memories are fading. They always say that it's the easiest pain to forget and "they" sure are right! Although every time I hear someone say that, I think of my Granny. She had a ten pound baby (my dad) all natural back in 1960. Then, she was bedridden for four days after. I'm sure her pain was a little harder to forget than mine...

Dad, have you thanked Granny lately? You totally should! In fact, your birthday is this Saturday. You should tell her "thank you!"

Anyway,  I will tell you that the night after Olive's birth, I was so thirsty. I hadn't drank anything in over 24 hours; I had only had one cup of ice and nothing else. Plus, I had lost a reasonable amount of blood with the surgery. I begged for something to drink and couldn't have it...darn! The next morning I scarfed down my breakfast and started drinking. But, I was way too into holding Olive and just looking at her to be overly hungry.

I have several, several, pictures like this. I apparently stared at her...a lot. But, I'm sure other mothers can attest. Seeing their face for the first time, that little miracle, is simply amazing. I couldn't get enough!

As the day went on, my blood pressure kept getting really low and they asked me to drink more water. Ugh, the irony. I was slightly annoyed. It went from "can't drink anything" to "drink more."

It was about 14 hours after surgery that I got to take off my massage "booties." Those things were amazing! I loved them. Once they were off, I got my catheter out. Uncomfortable! But, I could get up now! At first, I felt pretty good. Not too much pain. It seriously took over 24 hours before all of the spinal had worn off and I started to really feel the pain. It was worse than a vaginally delivery, for me. When my bladder would get full, I had a lot of pain on the incision. When I would go pee, then it wasn't as bad. So, I kept running to and from the restroom, or rather shuffling to and from. It sure was different than what I had experienced before. Pain in a completely different place, but still all of the gross discomfort...if you women know what I mean.

I really didn't mind though. I was completely on cloud nine. I seriously was on a high. I didn't get irritated at all and was just as happy as I could be. It was different than with Lucy. Perhaps my body has changed, or I have...something like that. The high lasted until, well, basically until I went back to work. Whomp, whomp. I won't beat that dead horse, so moving on...

Lucy came to visit and spent most of the second day with us. She loved seeing her new, baby sister.

She even held her for photos. When someone would talk to her, she would stick her fingers to her lips and tell us that her baby sister was sleeping. :) She's a great big sister!

The day we got out of the hospital, Lucy was there again. We wanted to make sure we got to experience these things as a family!


Then, it started. Olive was upset. I had to feed her before we hit the road. We sat the girls down to take this photo, and Lucy pooped her pants - more delay. They were breaking us in right away, to having two! That is alright though. Cloud nine...

I was welcomed home to this wonderful display my mom and sister put together - presents for all!

 

Oh boy, now that I've waited 5 months, this post is giving me baby fever. No way, Jose. We really would need a van then!

The rest is wonderful, laid-back, best baby in the world, knock-on-wood, history. :)

27 is the New Cool

I'm getting old.

I literally feel it. No - I'm not talking about my achy bones, my need for more fiber in my diet, or the wrinkles on my forehead. Although, my hip does hurt sometimes, fiber would do me some good, and my forehead is totally wrinkling. But, that is all beside the point.

I look at Lucy and Olive. Lucy is almost three. I. Am. Getting. Old.

I'm a mother of two. I am co-raising two children. We are talking about getting a minivan. I seriously wake up in the morning and think about what would be comfortable and sensible to wear, not what would look best.

I remember being a little kid and celebrating my dad's 30th birthday. Was that young in my eyes? No. Do I ever remember a time that I thought my parents were young? Never.

But, to a 4 year old, 30 is old. No offense, Dad.

So, I have decided instead of being all complainy, which is easy to do, I would celebrate being "old." What makes being (almost) 27 cool? Well, let me tell you...

1) I can tell you when a storm is coming because my hip aches, like arthritis or something.

2) I can dress up for an 80s party based on memory, not pictures from the internet.

3) I can sing songs from the early 2000s in the hall at work, and I'm the only one who knows all the lyrics.

4) My cell phone is not always in my hand. Therefore, if I am slow replying to texts, I can't be blamed.

5) If I'm out past midnight on the weekend, and get pulled over, it's no automatically assumed that I'm coming home from a party.

6) I drive a "family vehicle" and never get pulled over (knock on wood).

7) I get to plan all the meals of the household. What's for dinner? Whatever I want to cook...

8) I get to finally share my worldly wisdom with teenagers. And, they roll their eyes at me, just the same..

9) Heath lets me spend more money on makeup, push-up bras, and tanning lotion since I'm basically falling apart.

10) I am finally in tune with the news and pop culture enough that I get all (or most) of the jokes on Saturday Night Live.

11) Heath and I can basically be as careless as we want with birth control. Not that we want a third necessarily, or right now for the matter. But, it's not like we're too young, or too old. It's like Goldilocks; my age is "just right."

12) I appreciate how fast the internet is today. When I was 15, I used dial-up to download songs from Napster!

13) I have become supernatural. I have the ability to kiss boo-boos and cure them instantly, I can look at food and gain weight, and my body can sense when it's out of caffeine.

14) When I talk about my "high school days," I'm no longer lame. It's me being nostalgic.

15) Let be honest, stubbing your toe just doesn't hurt quite as bad. Or, perhaps it's being able to cuss at the top of your lungs that relieves all that pain...hmmm...

Now, don't you wish you were 27? It's pretty damn cool.

Lucy-isms

Heath and Lucy were brushing their teeth. Heath, finishes, and then flosses his teeth. When Lucy finished brushing hers, he asks:

"You want me to floss'em?" 

 Her response:

"Mine are awesome too."

Dear...

Dear Readers...I promise, I will totally get back into the hang of things here pretty soon. Tell my hubby that I need a netbook, or a keyboard for the girls' ipad, or something of the sort. :)

Dear Lucy...you have to do nothing more in the mornings than to just look at me, to brighten my day. Your bed-head is enough to make me smile.

Dear Winter...where is the snow? I work at an educational institution. Therefore, you are to give me at least one snow day a year. Is that too much to ask? Come on Jack Frost! Help me out!

Dear Chico...sorry, bud. Olive isn't eating solids yet. It's going to be a while before food gets thrown from the highchair. 

Dear 2012...thank you so much for giving me my second baby girl; but, seriously, you could have kept that extra 30 lbs. (I miss warm, chocolate-chip cookies straight from the oven. Mmmm...)

Dear Lucy...I love that you throw yourself up against the wall, when I ask you to pose for a picture - so, so dramatic.


Dear Doctors and Nurses...thank you. Thank the Lord that someone around here doesn't mind blood, or other bodily functions, and isn't a creeper at the same time.


Dear Walmart...although it appears that you are taking all of our money...

 

every time I price match and use coupons, I feel like I gain a little bit back. Muah-ha-ha.

 

Yes. That is $300. I am that crazy lady at Walmart who should really be using two carts. However, I usually only make one trip a month! And, diapers and formula are expensive...bah...

Dear Christmas stuff that still isn't put away...I love you; I promise. I'm just lazy...er...I mean sidetracked...and haven't put you away yet. It's nothing personal.

Dear Lucy...you think Olive doesn't sit still? You should try doing your hair!

Dear Hunny...I sure do love you.

Have a wonderful weekend, all! :)

Looks - Part 2

This is part 2, because I wrote a blog post about Lucy looking so much like Heath back in the day, titled, "Looks."

So, I might just have one that looks like me yet! :) Heath totally got Lucy...

But, I may have gotten Olive. :)

I say "got" like it's a competition or something. I really don't mean it like that. I mean that I look at Lucy and I see Heath. I rarely, if ever, see myself in her. She is even energetic and goofy like Heath. :) But, Olive, I see a baby version of myself in her. It's a wonderful feeling to look at your child and see yourself.  Even if she changes and starts to look like Lucy and Heath, that is alright. I had my moment. :)

Oh, and Heath...I don't know where those cheeks come from! Haha. Lucy had them too! We like our chubby babies!

Christmas Dresses

I always remember having Christmas dresses when I was little. Perhaps this is an altered memory; because, I can really only recall a couple of dresses. However, I know that we always "dressed to the nines" for our annual Christmas program at school. Granted, my grandmother made most, if not all, of our dresses for us...even these beauties I have shared before:

I swear my memory wants to say that Nikki's bow was on the back of her dress, above her bum. It came off or something, so my mom put it on her head. Haha. Mom, correct me if my memory fails me. Sorry, Nikki; I just had to show it again. If it makes you feel any better, I will post my 4th grade photo on here sometime....awkward! Or, my freshman year photo.....oh boy...

Anyway, we had special occasion dresses when I was little. At Easter, we even had hats with our dresses. I loved it. So, naturally, since I am making my girls basically relive my childhood in the 21st century (ha!), I had to get Christmas dresses for them. Lucy has had them, so why would I treat Olive any different?

2010

Heath asked about this tradition, and especially about the expense involved. "How many times will they actually wear these?" I understand that. But, they will wear them three times. That's not too bad at their age. They barely wear outfits three times before they grow out of them! They need the dresses to see Santa, for Christmas card photos, and to wear to church on Christmas Eve - totally worth it! Nonetheless, I could tell Heath was a little skeptical....until...

the girls got their photo in the local newspaper.

When we went to see Santa, they weren't very many children dressed up. But, we wanted to have good photos, so the dresses came out. Since they were all dolled up, the newspaper photographer took their photo with Santa Claus. It was a proud moment for these parents; I tell you what...



Heath finally "drank the Christmas dress kool-aid."

It's a great idea. Hopefully my girls will carry on the tradition with their own children. Oh, and yes, if we decide to have a third, and it is a boy, he'll be in the photo too with a little sweater vest, khakis, and loafers.

Merry Christmas to all! And, happy dressing. :)

Thankful Calendar

After yesterday's post about Halloween, I thought I should "get up with the times" and discuss Thanksgiving. What a wonderful time of year, right?

This year, I saw on Pinterest.com a 'Thankful Calendar.' Every day until Thanksgiving, you would write down what you were thankful for and put it on the calendar. It is a countdown I guess. Although we really should be thankful every day, it's hard to stop sometimes and just thank the Lord. We are so incredibly blessed in our lives, or at least I feel like I am. I try very hard not to take it for granted. We all forget sometimes though. I recently saw a pin that said, Only in the U.S. would we spend a day being thankful for what we have, then spend the entire next day trampling over each other for new stuff. True story! But, I still love Black Friday. :)

Anyway, I want to just state right now that I am not crafty. I do not have the patience and I don't have a lot of craft items on hand. For example, I've never owned a bottle of Mod Podge in my life. I just got a glue gun a couple of years ago, from my mom, and I burn myself incessantly!

So, I thought that when Lucy and I made this, we were doing pretty well:

We decided to hang it on the fridge, at least this year. As you will also notice, I created the calendar for up to the 24th, rather than the 22nd that Thanksgiving is on this year. I hope to reuse this calendar in the future and added a couple more days. Each day, we all say what we are thankful for. Since 'family, friends, four-legged family members and friends, food, shelter, faith, and a few others, are already written on our calendar (not in the picture; I added more after I took it), we try to think of other things - small things in life that often go unappreciated.

Heath has been thankful for daycare, technology, football, stuff like that. I've been thankful for cell phones, cars, and baking. We usually explain them a little bit to each other, but just write down a word or two. Lucy's are great! They make me laugh. She always says, "Mommy, Daddy, and baby Olive." It makes my heart melt with love, while wanting to burst with pride! But, she has also said, Aurora (her baby doll), Bonnie (her stuffed horse), her blankey, pumpkins, and really anything in the general direction she is looking. haha.

We have also decided to be thankful in other ways. We have started to say grace before meals. And, we decided to be better church goers. This last weekend, we decided on which one and would like to start going consistently.

It feels great to stop asking for forgiveness, when I take this life for granted. I still complain about stupid, stupid stuff; but, I'm getting better...

Tonight, I think I will put down that I am thankful for...my blog readers. :) Thank you for always supporting me and telling me that I'm not the craziest momma on the block! Have a great hump day!