Honest or Terror?

I entered DayCare to pick Lucy up the other day. Lucy was nowhere in sight, as I scanned the room. I heard a little commotion in the corner and heard a whine. I knew the whine didn't belong to Lucy; but, when I looked over there I could see Lucy's top-knot ponytail peeking over a playpen.

I walked over to the corner, to see one of Lucy's little friends sitting on the floor, whining. We will call her "Mary" for story's sake. Lucy was standing beside her.

Lucy looked at me, wide-eyed. I opened my mouth to ask what had happened and before I could, Lucy raised her arms up beside her head, palms up, and said, "I push Mary."

It was followed by a shoulder shrug, as she pulled the side of her mouth into her cheek. Then she dropped her arms, letting them slap her thighs, as she stared at Mary.

I was a little stunned at her immediate confession. I asked her if I understood correctly, "You pushed Mary?"

She nodded, just as wide-eyed as before - no remorse.

I, of course, started to tell her that pushing was very bad and to apologize to Mary. She and Mary hugged it out, as Lucy said she was sorry.

I asked, "Is Mary your friend?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do we push our friends?"

[blank stare]

I finally just said, "No. We don't."

As we started for the door, the director told me that Lucy always fesses up to it, "She always tells us what she did."

I thought, well that is good. At least she is honest. But, then, I remembered the wide-eyed look I was given. Is she honest? Or, does she not realize it's bad, so she doesn't think to lie? Honest or just a real terror?

Time will tell...Lucy the self-proclaimed pusher.

"It hurt."

This is Lucy's arm. I bet you will never guess what happened there...

 - My Office telephone rings -

Blah, Blah, Blah, "This is Cori."

"Cori, this is K at DayCare." (That always makes me nervous!)

"Oh, hello!" I say all coy and stuff.

"I just wanted to call you and let you know that Lucy got bit today."

I admit; my first thought was, "by what?" But, it dawned on me quickly as I muttered, "Ohh..."

K continued, "We have a biter [in DayCare]. I put a cold cloth on it; but, it didn't break the skin. She just may have a bruise in the next couple of days."

I didn't really know what to say. I don't really remember where the conversation even went after that. We discussed Lucy's own demeanor and apparently she is a "pusher." To which Heath and I both agreed, if she shoved the girl after she was bit, then good for her! I certainly hope she sticks up for herself. :{

I just imagine poor Lucy staring at the girl in confusion, while she bit her arm. Then, slowly starting a silent, gasping cry. :( Poor girl. But, for the rest of the day, I tried to put it out of my mind. I mean, what was I going to do? say?

I know one thing, I wanted to know who did it. K didn't indicate who had. I knew that I would hold a personal grudge on said child...it was killing me.  I figured if I asked Lucy, she would tell me.

When I picked Lucy up at DayCare, I immediately went to her arms. I saw the same red, teeth shaped mark as you did above, with a little bit of swelling too. I said, "Well, someone small bit you." Lucy looked at me with a concerned face and said the name. I didn't understand her at first, until the other DayCare ladies told me who it was. Then, the name became clear to me. Ahhh....it was another little girl, just a bit older than Lucy. The ladies went on to tell me that the little girl bit two other kids that day too. I thought, hopefully her parents have been given some type of warning or something. That is a little out of hand! Three times? Three different children? That is a serious behavior issue.

All night, every time we said "arm" or "hurt." Lucy would say, "[So-and-So] bite me. It hurt."

It was pretty sad. These are the hardest parts of having a child in DayCare. I just want to protect Lucy every second of the day, at least until she's...um, let's say...18...haha. Or better yet, forever!

There really isn't much I can do. I know that the Director was concerned and knew that I'm the psycho mommy that she might want to call and warn. I guess that is kind of nice to know. I just hope Lucy doesn't start biting people now!

"Rough"

Sorry I haven't been around lately. I've been really busy again and really stressed out. Going to work after the holidays sucks - plain and simple.

Anyway, we have been getting back into the routine of things. Yesterday, I picked Lucy up from DayCare to experience another DayCare milestone. Wanna hear about it? It doesn't matter; because, I'm going to tell you anyway. It was far too frustrating.

I walk in to see Lucy dressed up in a cute little outfit. The provider and I start to talk about the outfit as I pull out my phone and snap a picture.

With a poofy hat on, I didn't notice anything different with Lucy. So, I peeled the clothing and headed to grab her coat. While getting Lucy ready to leave, the provider says, "Lucy has another little bruise on her forehead."

I brushed Lucy's bangs out of the way and see that she has a bruise right above her eyebrow; it still looked kind of red and a little swollen. My first thought is: "typical Lucy." She is constantly bumping her head on things. It happens at home all the time.

I waited to hear how she fell or ran into the doorway. Nope. The, the provider started to say something else. This time, she was choosing her word wisely. I could tell by all the stammering.

"She...well, they were...um, they...well,...they were being a little rough with her today."

My first thought was, "Who is they?"

My raised eyebrow of complete un-impressiveness must have made her continue on with her detail-lacking story.

"A lot of kids were in time-out today."

Okay...

While I finished buttoning up Lucy's coat and put her stocking cap on her, my mind was in a whirl. I could feel my face get hot with anger as I scanned the children in the room. Him...yep. I bet it was him. Or, maybe him.

At that moment two older children started to argue over some toys. One was maybe 6 or 7, definitely elementary school aged, and the other was 5. The five year old had walked up and snatched away the older child's toys. The older kid took them back. The five year old started whining. 

"Uhhhh......huh...huh...huh.....oooooo..."

I mean whiny-whining. Like, I wanted to put Lucy down, go over to him, grab him by the shoulders, tell him that he was 5 years old and to act like it...

I needed to exit and quickly.  

That probably sounds really awful to some of you children lovers out there. Sorry. I think I've addressed my total annoyance with misbehaved children.

I grabbed Lucy's bag, snarled at the children, held back something snarky to say, and muttered a "Bye."

As I walked across the parking lot I thought more and more about it. It really bugged me. I imagined poor little Lucy getting picked on. I looked at her and told her that I was sorry. I wished I could have been there for her. Violence is not the answer; but, at that moment, I hoped that she got a hit in too. I hoped that she did something really awful to them, like broke their toy or spit on them at lunch...something to at least make up for the hitting.

I wanted to ask DayCare who did it. Which kid? But, that would only end up with me strongly disliking the child....for, possibly, ever.

Now, I realize that those thoughts are irrational and unforgiving, especially for children. So, I apologize.

I just don't want Lucy to ever be picked on. I want to always be there for her, especially when she is too young to stick up for herself.

I immediately called Heath and vented. Why was she with those bigger children anyway? There wasn't a fight leading up to said bruise? Should we ask exactly what happened?

To be honest, maybe I shouldn't know. Again, maybe ignorance really is bliss. :[

DayCare Bullying

Again, last week I was reminded why I never wanted to be an elementary school teacher.

Heath had gone out to lunch with his co-workers; so, I went down to see Lucy by myself. I admit, it’s a bit awkward without Heath. He engages in small talk and plays with the other children. I will flash a smile or goofy face at some of them occasionally; but, I am just not very good with little kids – especially a lot of them.

Each of the daycare helpers had a baby in hand and all the little toddlers were running about. It was Friday; therefore, there weren’t that many children. They were able to all play together, instead of the usual baby-toddler separation. Lucy was in an ‘exersaucer’ just bouncing her little heart out. It was adorable (to say the least). Frankly, I was just pleased that she wasn’t on the floor, getting trampled by the “walkers.”

First, I picked her up out of the saucer and gave her squeezes and told her how much I loved and missed her. Then, I sat down with her in front of the mirror. She loves to look at herself and I get a thrill out of watching her giggle and smile – so, that’s where we landed. We laughed and played in our own little spot when another little girl came over. I am not sure how old the girl is; but, I would guess 2 or 2 ½. Honestly, she may be a little older; let’s just say, she is old enough to know better. She talks in full sentences, clear as day. She is coordinated and plays with dolls like she’s playing house. So, after further review, she is probably 3 or 3 ½. Anyway, you get the picture…

This particular girl, we’ll call her Mary, has always been on my radar. She has been spotted picking on the babies in the past – by me that is. The daycare personnel are constantly hollering her name, “Mary, no. Maa-rry, no. Don’t do that!”

This summer, when there were fewer children, I used to watch her. She’d push the swings too fast, with babies in them. She’d throw blankets on their faces or take away their toys. I even alert one of the daycare providers to break up a ‘situation’ one day, where Mary was hitting another, younger toddler repeatedly on the head with a toy. It was sad to even watch. The other toddler was defenseless.

Other times, it seemed like Mary was trying to play house with the babies, but was just too rough. Regardless, I didn’t want her around Lucy.

Mary was a bully! Take that back, Mary is a bully.

So, on this particular day, sitting with Lucy, minding our own business, I was not amused with Mary.

She came over and kept throwing all the toys off the shelf – even the ones Lucy was playing with. I kept giving her this look, like, “go away, we are playing here.” After reflection, it’s obvious she is too young to pick-up on my snide looks. Oh well, it made me feel better. I stayed calm. I wanted to tell her to knock it off and that Lucy was playing with those toys first. However, that’s not my job and Mary’s not my child. It went unnoticed by everyone else - oddly enough too; she was making a lot of noise.

I abandoned the mirror and shelf toys. I took Lucy back over to the exersaucer. While Lucy bounced I showed her the different toys, surrounding it. Then, there she was – Mary. She started playing with the toys that Lucy was playing with – the ones connected to the saucer that Lucy was in!

Is it horrible of me to not like a little kid?

It’s the parents. She wants attention. It doesn’t happen when I’m gone. Lucy didn’t care. There was no harm done. These are all things I keep repeating to myself. But, seriously, Mary looks at me and my first thought is – troublemaker! I am surrounded by complete and utter annoyance.

Dramatic overreaction – got it!

It just makes me realize that Lucy is going to get picked on and I won’t be there to protect her. Mary is the first of probably several. I hate it. I want to protect her, especially now, since she can’t even comprehend the whole ‘sharing’ idea or stick up for herself and tell Mary to get lost.

Have you ever experienced this? How should I react when I am witnessing this behavior? I feel like a jerk telling daycare, “Mary keeps taking Lucy’s toys away.” What am I? Four?

Help! I have a daycare bully!