Responsibility Advice

I recently had a mother of one contact me about going to grad-school and parenting. She wanted to know "how I do it." I laughed. Who the hell am I to be giving any advice? For all she knows I go home, starve the girls, and lock them in their rooms...but, I was humbled. I didn't really know what to say. I let the email sit in my inbox for a couple of days before replying. When I did reply, this is what I said...

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It is great to hear from you. And, when it comes to being a multi-tasking mom, I seriously hear you! I had such a hard time transitioning to my "new life" and that was back when I wasn't going to school. So, having a second baby and then applying to Grad School was basically terrifying. I completely understand your concern! I do have some advice, but I want to make sure I am completely clear - I still fail. I try. I try to be the best at everything that I can. But, some days the house is a complete wreck. Some days I order a pizza and don't cook supper. Some days I am so stressed to the max that I get short with Lucy and Olive, cry in the corner, and then beg for forgiveness. It is tough. I just don't think that we can be "the best" at it all. I've tried several times and I have failed every single time. Just when I think I am getting into the swing of things, I realize that my relationship with Heath is suffering, or my friendships. Or, that I can't find time to just sleep, or think, or be by myself for two seconds!

I digress...

So, here is my advice and feel free to ignore me.

1) Forget your life pre-baby
I think my greatest milestone as a new mom was finally letting go of my "old life." I had a hard time. I kept thinking that everything was going to be the same, just with a baby. It literally took me about 2.5 years to figure this out. Things will have to be adjusted and concessions will be made.

2) Lean on your hubby
Heath is fantastic. But, I like to take a little bit of credit for getting him there. :) I am always an open book with him. I tell him when I am reaching my limit. He has really helped me pick up the slack and has come to know what really bothers me. I can't stand dishes in the sink; but, dust can wait until I have time...That kind of stuff. He has learned that there will be concessions when it comes to housework. So, a few rooms in our house (our bedroom and the toy room) will never be clean. We have finally come to terms with this.

3) Schedule "you" time
When I was a new mom I felt like if I wasn't spending every second of my free-time with Lucy, then I was a bad mother. I was so upset that I was already missing out on so much during the day, with her at daycare. But, I soon realized that I was having major burnout. I would try to do too much and then get short with Lucy. I was with her, but the shared time wasn't good. So, I schedule homework days, or homework nights, or even days away. Don't ever feel guilty for doing this - ever. It's not the quantity of time, it is the quality of time.

4) Schedule "us" time
Seriously, along with the previous one, take time to spend with your hubby. It is amazing how silly "the dishes" or "taking out the trash" can seem when you both are in good graces. But, if you are both stressed, you will end up bickering about something silly, something not even worth fighting about. So, once a week, if possible, take a night to go out, or order a movie, or something with just the two of you. It will make the household chores seem like less of a priority, which really, aren't they?

5) Remember this: When you die, no one will remember you for how clean your house was
You will be remembered as a wife, a mom, and so on. I learned this from my Uncle Matt and it is so true! Pick your battles and try to remember what really matters.

6) Indulge

Get that coffee from Starbucks. Buy those earrings. Every once in a while, we all need something to keep our sanity. Mine is the sweet, sweet flavors of a large diet-coke with vanilla from Sonic. :) It fuels me to get homework done. Seriously.

7) June Cleaver doesn't exist!

I kept thinking I should be able to do it all. But, to be honest, I don't think it is possible. I seriously don't. Something has GOT to give. Mine is the housework and sleep. Yes - I still get overwhelmed with it and hate when people come over and things aren't perfect. But, I have just learned what really gets under my skin and what doesn't, and prioritize accordingly. During the week, no housework gets done. I cook supper, do dishes, and try to pick-up the girls' rooms. The weekend is for housework and maybe not all of it. These Pinterest and Blogging moms are struggling too, they just aren't as honest (or they don't work full-time, or go to school). Sleep? Well, I love it so much. I catch up on the weekends or take naps with the girls. :)

9) Also, remember this: You are not alone. 

And, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Before we know it, our kids will be big and we won't know what to do with ourselves.

10) Having two is not much more work than one, as long as your husband helps out. Keep that in mind for future babies. :) The biggest obstacle is going back to those toddler days, where you can't take them anywhere for long periods of time (grocery shopping sucks, etc.).

I hope I helped in some way. Those are the things getting me by. But, my classes started up again this week and I'm already stressing. That's okay; I will just pick up my Sonic drink on the way home and wait until the girls go to sleep until I start homework.



Heath is also fantastic. He really is. I could never do any of this without him. He is a great husband and father. He supports me emotionally and he supports my education. He picks up so much of my slack. I am forever grateful for him. I hope that everyone has that type of support!

You will do great. If not, you will figure it out. I promise. I am always here to listen.

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Any advice that any other parents would give to a new mother, trying to take on other responsibilities? Besides calling them crazy... :)

I Ran a 5K Once...

Hopefully this isn't something that my future self will say. I hope to run more than just one 5K in my life. But, for the time being, I finished one and for me that is a huge accomplishment.

As you all know, I sometimes run for a short workout. Said run is usually one, possibly two, miles. It never goes longer than two miles. Three miles? Ha.

I'll be honest, I never really used to like running. But, I think it just took me this long to figure it out - if that makes any sense. I've learned to pace myself, adjust my breathing, etc.

But, with this run and the photos that were taken, I've learned even more:

• I can do something if I really put my mind to it.
• Awesome Possum is a great team name. People loved it. They really did!

•  Blue doesn't glow under black lights (told you, Heath).
• A glow necklace might snap when curved tightly - it might just snap while looped through the laces on your shoe.
• Watch where you are walking. Mud holes can be anywhere, even downtown Lincoln.
• Sitting on the cement post race will leave sweaty butt prints.
• You can get rid of said butt prints by "accidentally" spilling water on it.
• My post-run food of choice is cheese crackers with peanut butter.
• I tend to hold my thumbs like Marsha Brady when I run. :(

•  I don't look good running...at all.

•  Hannah is a great cousin. Alright, so I already knew this. But, she stayed with me the whole run and would cheer me on. She was really the only one to congratulate me and acted proud of me. :) It made me feel really good. Heath? Couldn't care less. I had to fish for compliments...even then, they weren't real keepers...

And, doesn't the lady in pink look like she wants to pass me? We just crossed the finish line lady...get a grip.

Here are some other pictures of the night:

 Heath finishing. Good form, Hunny!

Jason finishing, like he just freaking ran a 40...

Tom and Jari finishing, together. Aww...of course Jari is smiling. By the way, Jari, I am super impressed that those glasses lasted the whole race!

Looking good, considering...

Post-race team picture! Tom and Jari...get a room...just kidding...haha...

The guys got flagged down to take a picture because of their awesome shirts....awesome possum shirts that is.

And, now, my favorite pic of the whole thing.

Jason - why are you so wet? And, why are you two in an embrace? Runnin' bros...Heath, this is the most genuine smile of the whole night! Haha

I encourage anyone to do this. Push yourselves and your boundaries. I want to do another, just to prove to myself that I can. I ran the entire thing, without walking. I didn't think I could. I did.

We'll see if I can do another soon, before I become too completely out of shape again (although that might have already happened).

Have a great weekend everyone!

Weight Loss Journey 3

Yes. I am on a weight loss journey again. This is my third. Apparently when life throws big changes my way, I gain lots of weight. But, I think baby weight is to be expected. I am just an overachiever and gain 50+ lbs.

My weight loss with Lucy seems like so long ago that I can't remember how long it really took. I know that I was back within 5 lbs in 10 months. So, what can I expect at almost 7 months post Olive? I feel, overall, that I am doing pretty good. I am 4 lbs away from being at my pre-Olive weight. I am 14 lbs away from my pre-Lucy. Darn it. I will get there and stay there someday.

What have I been doing? Mostly I've been calorie counting. It is working and making me lose between a pound and two pounds a week, depending on how much I cheat. Cheating usually involves a night out to eat, where I can't keep my hands off of the salsa and chips, or daiquiris, or Cool Ranch Dorito taco. Mmm...

I have also worked out a little, not as much as I would like. It is very difficult with the girls. I would like to work out after they go to sleep, but it is dark at that time. This summer will be nice. It also isn't warm enough yet to take them out with the jogging stroller. I did a couple of weeks ago, when it was warmer. Remember that? Two days? Oh well, it was amazing. They loved it and I did too, even though I about died! 

I have been stalling lately. So, I've been doing a lot of research on how to boost metabolism and what stalls weight loss, etc. But, I thought the ultimate motivation would be....accountability. It has always been a great motivator for me. My cousin, Hannah, did that already by setting me up on HealthRally: Cori vs. Baby Weight. It allows me to update my few followers on my progress. It puts a percentage to it as well, which helps when I can see the percentage of completion growing.

Heath has also motivated me with the promise of a shopping spree. :)

Finally, I am very, very motivated by a trip to Vegas. This trip will be taken on May 1st - 5 weeks and two days. I have to get in better shape before then! I would ideally get to my goal weight and have the shopping spree before then, or while in Vegas. That would be amazing. So, I am trying really, really hard.

Want to see how far I've come? Of course you do. Everyone loves before and afters! (I may or may not have taken some very formal before photos. I will have to show you those when I reach my goal.)

I know these aren't as good as posed, premeditated photos. That is why some day I might show you the other ones I took. Perhaps I won't be as embarrassed about them when I get to my goal.

I swear my face was chubbier after I had Olive than when I was pregnant!

 I miss my thick hair though... My top-knot used to be so big and thick. Sad, sad, sad.

To wrap this post all up, I hope you guys don't mind me sharing some of my battle with weight in the next couple of weeks. I feel like it is an important part of being a mommy. I think most mommas deal with getting back to "normal" after baby - if in no other way but weight.

Wish me luck! Oh, and I signed up for a 5K at the end of May. I HAVE to take training more seriously! I am gonna die..

DayCare Blues

Lucy has started whining every once in a while, when we take her to DayCare. It makes me sad. At least once a week, sometimes twice, when we pull up to the building she starts whining or crying, "No. No K and J."  (Those are the two ladies that run the daycare.)

It breaks me heart. I wish I could stay home with her. I wish she had the option at least. It makes me sad all over again. To be honest, I have been getting a lot better with the idea of Lucy going to daycare. She is developing wonderfully and learning so, so many things! This kind of takes me back to when she was little and I constantly thought about all that I was missing out on...

After a lot of thought, I'll admit it. If I were a stay-at-home mom, Lucy would probably not be as educationally advanced as she is. I don't know if I would seriously take as much time teaching her songs, the alphabet, dances or skits, shapes, etc. Of course I would put forth the effort to teach her things, as we continue to do even though she goes to daycare. But, her life at daycare is so structured. Everyday she has class time, and singing, and arts and crafts, and so on.

I cannot say that if I stayed home with her that I would do that. I see all these things around the house that I would also like to take the time to do. I want to stay home with Lucy; but, I also want to clean, and organize, and craft, and cook...in addition to the fun projects and activities I could do with Lucy. I'd love to grocery shop during the day (unheard of!), and visit museums, get involved with the community, and go on picnics. While working, it just doesn't seem that there is ever enough time... (insert pathetically depressed expression here).

I am once again on that fence of daycare being a very good thing; but, I sometimes wish I could stay home with her too. I have a feeling that when Olive arrives, it will be even worse.

I see how organized my life is at work and I imagine it like that at home - having a schedule, structured to-do list, meal planning, budgeting, weekly outings with Lucy, actually sending out birthday and anniversary cards on time...etc, etc, etc. Perhaps someday I can figure out the balance that I desire. As of now, I really put all of my organizational thoughts into work. By time I get home, I can't remember what my to-do list consisted of or I lost that note I shoved in my purse, or better yet, I simply don't have the energy anymore.

I am young and perhaps I will get there. I just have to keep trying. I know another child will only add to the mix. Then, we can throw in dieting and exercising too.

Someday...

24 Hours?

Sometimes I just don't believe that there are 24 hours in my day.

I'm a momma.
I'm a wife.
I'm a family person.
I'm a friend.
I'm a full-time employee.
I'm a house cleaner.
I'm a cook.
I'm a chauffeur.
I'm a lover of television.
I'm a sleeper.
I'm a night person.
I'm a wanna-be exerciser.
I'm an on-again/off-again weight watcher.
I'm a lover of junk food.
I'm a shopper.
I'm an organizer.
I'm a coupon clipper.
I'm a blogger.

I sometimes just can't get the hang of things.

At work I am very organized. I mean it is borderline OCD ridiculous. I have two calendars, an electronic one and a paper one. I will plan time to "map out" my schedule, several times a year. I am always adding items to my 'To-Do' list and if I don't get them done that day, it moves to the next. Nothing ever goes undone.

At home? Sunday - fold the laundry. Didn't get it done. Monday - fold the laundry. Tuesday - fold the laundry. Nope. Let's just say - it still needs to be done and it's Thursday. Ugh!

Our bedroom looks like a small bomb went off in my closet. The laundry room and den are in serious need of organizing/cleaning. The closets are to a point where I am afraid items may fall on me when I open the doors! And, don't even get me started on the master bathroom. :{

The good thing is that from the "outside" it all looks good. :) The rooms that visitors see are pretty clean and organized! Kudos for that, right? Maybe...

I've been thinking about making a calendar/to-do list for home. I could plan out my cleaning and activities. Then, I would have more time to do, and less guilt about doing, the things I love!

You are probably thinking that I just need to give up some sleep and some television. I need to make the sacrifice that comes with the responsibility of being a mom and an adult....yada, yada, yada. That is all fine and dandy for a week or so. Then, I am at my wit's end. I get grumpy. I simply need some 'me' time. I have to get another hour of sleep sometimes. I have to just sit and stop moving sometimes. It keeps me sane. So, hopefully a plan or schedule could allow for both my selfish and non-selfish needs.

What do you think? Is this just another thing that will get pushed to the side? Will I stick to it like I did my last five diets? Time will tell. I need a plan first.

Any tips on how to juggle all the many roles we have? And, keep our sanity? I'll let you know how it goes...

I'm a Statistic!

To be honest, I don't mind it too much. I can handle being a statistic.  It happens to the best of us.

Well, I have been encouraged to do a post about this for about a month now and I just wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say yet, without having a complaint session.  So, here it goes....be forewarned.

What's the statistic you ask? According to BabyCenter.com, 85% of women are about 5 lbs or heavier on their baby's first birthday, than what they weighed before they got pregnant.

I can't be for certain that those are the exact stats without looking it up; but, I remember reading it aloud to Heath and saying, "That's me!"

Is it awful that I take comfort in this statistic? That it makes me feel less bad about still carrying around those 5 lbs?  In my case, it is really about 6.5 lbs...depending on if you go by the doctor's office scale or mine at home. I used to judge my weight on how my clothes fit and that was all. And, now-a-days, I am getting even better at that!  My body has changed and I am losing weight differently than I ever have.  Having Lucy was life changing in more ways than one...

As I have mentioned before, I gained a whopping 54. 6 pounds with Lucy!  I basically stopped all physical activity and ate whatever the heck I wanted, plus a sausage croissant more!  I paid for it too. I was the biggest I've ever been and the biggest I hope I'll ever be (fingers crossed!). I tried to stay active, somewhat, by taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking far away, that kind of stuff; but, wow breathing is so much more difficult when you are pregnant!  I even tried to do some pregnancy yoga and got too light headed; so, I quit that too. :( I got to a point where the most activity I would have was walking from the bed to the bathroom a hundred times a night.

I didn't really have a plan after I had Lucy, on how to lose weight. I was too busy thinking about Lucy. I knew that I would somehow get back to 'normal' - ha.  I laugh at the word 'normal' because it is non-existent. This is the new normal!

I still ate pretty normal while I was breastfeeding. I didn't want to cut my calories too much.  Then, when I stopped breastfeeding, I went hardcore dieting. I went back on Weight Watchers, which I had some success in the past with. (In college, I gained like 15 pounds and somehow went on WW and lost 20, in 2 months!)

I then started to exercise. My sister-in-law told me about kickboxing classes held at our local wellness center. I said, "What the hey!?" And, started them.  It kicked my butt by the way...they still do, twice a week!

The pounds came off pretty quickly after that. I was motivated and somehow got down, a mere 11.5 pounds from my goal - in just 5 months!  My gallbladder surgery helped me lose another 5 lbs...which I know, I know, isn't the healthiest way to lose weight. But, I'll take it!

My old clothes fit. My jeans fit again. Diet motivation? See ya!

I got to where I was only working out, toning my now-somewhat-existent-muscles, and eating pure crap (pizza, bosco sticks, mac & cheese, chips). I was eating whatever I wanted, just in small to medium portions. What this did for me was, keep me in the same place on the scale. I was stuck. Scratch that...I am stuck.

I am hoping with some spring weather that I will start running outside more, which I really enjoy. Sometimes on the treadmill I can't escape my own mind. I start thinking about wanting to quit and how much it hurts, or how much farther I need to go. Outside, I am relieving stress and I can physically see my progress flying past me. :)

The bad part about spring? The weather is nice and I want to get out of the house more. Going out to eat is more appealing, as is cooking out (hotdogs, polish sausage, and potato chips!).

Anyway, enough with the excuses. Kickboxing is going to be offered this summer; so, I have no reason to become unmotivated. And, I just have to get back to my previous weight before Heath and I consider having more children.  What happens is moms don't lose the 5 lbs and then have another. Then, they have 10 lbs, and if they have another....well, you get the picture.

In the mean time, I want to stay positive - celebrate the good things!  Like: I have come a long way. Although I have been 'stuck' for months now, at least I'm not gaining!  And, I have been wanting to put together some 'Biggest Loser' type comparisons for a long time now. So, here they are...everyone loves a good comparison!

Far left: After my first weight loss, of 20 lbs.
Middle left: 14 weeks pregnant, and 1 lb down, due to morning sickness
Middle right: 11 weeks after having Lucy, in my friend wedding (I was so chubby for her wedding! I feel like I ruined all of her photos!)
Far right: This was last November, 6.5 lbs to go!

 

Left: The day before I found out I was pregnant

Middle: Again, at my friend's wedding, 11 weeks after having Lucy

Right: Again, me in November, 6.5 lbs to go

Looking at those pictures makes me realize how far I've come! I didn't realize I was so big at the time. I just knew I wanted to lose.  When Heath, Lucy, and I watched a video of the day she was born Heath said, "Lucy, look at how much weight mommy has lost!"

Thanks hun......thanks a lot.....haha.

Inspiration, Motivation, and Whatever Else Keeps You Going…

I was inspired by a friend of mine, who had her own blog of course, to start ‘documenting’ my life. Or rather, I wanted to document Lucy’s life. My friend would share cute stories about her children and about her most recent pregnancy, the naming process, the anticipation, and the sleepless nights. She had witty comments and cute details; but, I really couldn’t expect anything less from an English major.

I kept thinking that it would have been so neat to be able to share with everyone what was going on with my pregnancy. It would beat telling the same story 80 times, “the doctor said that I was retaining water and I had sausage toes,” etc.

Well, better late than never – I always say! (I say that because I’m consistently late, for everything.) Either way, that is why I am here.

Speaking of motivation and inspiration…Lucy. She was a whoppin’ 11 pounds and 4 ¾ ounces at her two month appointment and 21 inches long. According to her daddy’s baby book, she has already surpassed him, height-wise. He keeps wondering if she’ll be a setter or a middle hitter! Or better yet, a hurdler or a sprinter! We are just kidding of course; we aren’t going to make her be an athlete. She may just be a brainiac, with sweet computer skills. ;)

Whoops, I have to go now! Random, I know; but, the little beauty calls. :)

So this is what it feels like to be a mother? Mid-thought and next thing you know……