Mental Preparation for Post-Pregnancy

When I think of having Olive, I think about the pain of labor for about a second. I guess it is so completely inevitable that I just try to shrug it off. When you get an epidural, you only really have to experience the really bad pain for about 3 hours, or I did anyway. If my labor would have started during the day, then it probably would have been sooner, but poor Denise had to get up at 2 am to come give me the epidural. Thank goodness for her! :)

Anyway, I've prepped for the pain as much as possible and my mind is strictly set on seeing that little girl's face! :) I can't wait! :) The love overwhelms me. I am just so excited to see her and add another member to our family. Ahh.....you know, happy baby thoughts.

What I am not doing, is properly preparing myself for the rest of it. Rest of it, you ask? I've said it before and I'll say it again, I was not at all prepared for the post-partum thing with Lucy. Not at all! I, again, had my sights set on the fun, happy, excited parts. So, when I read a blog post about what it is really like after baby a couple of months ago, I laughed pretty hard (you can read it too, here).

The one thing that I laughed the hardest at was at #7:

"7. You might hate your husband...nature takes care of you not conceiving right after giving birth by making you want to punch in [your husband's] face every time you see him. Again, it's probably hormone related. Again, this isn't always the case but I'm just warning you that you might stare at his peaceful sleeping face at 2am and wonder what the hell the point of him is and how can that son of a bitch just lie there sleeping like that while you try to get your baby to sleep for the umpteenth time. You're not alone and a jury full of mothers with newborns wouldn't convict you if you bludgeoned him to death with a breast pump. That said, he may be worth keeping around so take a deep breath and ignore the urge......for now."

The main reason I laugh is because I SO felt this. The second reason I laugh is more of a "HA!" As in, "HA, I'm not the only one." I have said this to Heath and to others before. I seriously used to sit next to Heath in bed, with Lucy in my arms, and glare, just burning hate into his soul while he slept. haha. I seriously just freakin' hated him at those moments. I know that it was the hormones, jealousy, and lack of sleep that was to blame. Plus, I had no idea what to expect.

I shared this blog above with Heath and he just didn't find it as funny as I did. But, I am hoping some other mother out there understands and empathizes with me.

The blog covers some other things that I didn't prepare for either. Not to copy her, but I thought I would share a bit of my own experiences. Warning, I am not looking for any kind of advice about the following things. With my current hormones, I might just flip out on anyone who gives me advice...nothing personal...just super touchy lately. I have been starting to think about post-partum and desperately trying to mentally prepare, so the shock isn't so great this time.

First of all, I loathe anyone who says to pack your normal clothes in your hospital bag, because you can just pop right back into your old jeans. After Lucy, I had lost a good 17 lbs almost right away. But, I was far from getting back into normal clothes. Adjusting to the my newly, marked-up, plump, baby-less body was tough for me. I had never been that big before; it seemed a lot more acceptable and easy to deal with when I was pregnant. After, it was just me...and a lot more of me!

TMI WARNING: The leaking and bleeding! Ugh! I knew that it would be like having a week to two-week menstrual cycle, but come on! Between the giant pads, which I never wear usually, and the breast pads, I felt "dirty" all the time. When my milk came in, I had to change my breast pads almost every hour and a half! I would wake up to a soaked bed, bra, and shirt. I had to sleep on towels!

No sleep. Duh, right? Everyone should expect no sleep; it would have been ignorant and naive to not think that. But, the toll that no sleep has on people is what I didn't expect. It is the grumpiness and the biting off Heath's head part. I would yell at him for no reason, know that it was wrong, but, be too exhausted to correct myself. So, Heath - I apologize for my future outbursts. I really do love you and appreciate you. I just want some friggin' sleep!

The immediate pain following birth. I had, for some crazy reason, convinced myself that the epidural would take all pain away...apparently forever. I didn't think about the pain after the magic drugs wore off. I was surprised at how sore I was after and especially in the nether region. I know that you are thinking that I was super naive to think I was going to push an 8+ lb baby out of a small exit and feel great an hour later. But, I seriously didn't think about it. I thought up until seeing Lucy and not much further...This time, I am prepared to be asking for the Tylenol with Codeine. Bring it on before the epidural wears off and I have to wear a frozen pad!

The frozen pads are amazing by the way. The hospital would pour tea on pads, then freeze them. The cold felt awesome and the tea makes the swelling go down. Awesome. With Lucy, I grabbed one for the road. haha.

Now that I have sufficiently abandoned all of my male, family readers, I should probably go. My mind is still fluttering with excited thoughts of meeting Olive for the first time. It is an amazing experience. I thought I simply needed a small reality check on this anxious afternoon.

Wanna scare any teenage girls out of having sex? Tell them about this stuff. They don't talk about it on '16 & Pregnant.'

Wish me luck, and seriously please will me to go into labor soon. I am going crazy over here!