For some reason sleeping in the hospital was harder for me this time. This being said, I didn't exactly sleep like a baby last time. Perhaps I wasn't exhausted with worry like last time; I'm not sure. Lucy slept well the first night. She still hated them waking her up throughout the night to check vitals. Who wouldn't?
The next morning we waited to hear about the CT scan. They finally scheduled it for early afternoon. We basically sat around all day until then. Since Lucy was more 'awake' than the last time she had a scan, this time she would have to be sedated. I hated the thought of it; but, I kept telling myself that at least she'd be getting good sleep. (Thank you Mackenzie and Morgan for Lucy's horsie, Bonnie!)
Also with the CT scan, she had to drink a contrast; so, when they take the images they can see the organs clearer. Last time they were checking her appendix and put the contrast in by IV. This time they had to have her ingest it. No problem. They mixed it with apple juice and she just had to drink the ten ounces. Never mind - it was much more difficult than we thought. We got her to drink four ounces on her own. However, she would not drink the rest. This meant they had to make her.
How do nurses make a 20 month old drink something? Shove a tube up her nose and down her throat.
It was tough. This was the one time that Heath and I were not able to help hold her down. They came in, wrapped her arms in a blanket, so she couldn't move, and three nurses shoved a tube up her nose. Lucy coughed, cried, gagged, dry heaved and looked at us for help. I stood back and cried. Heath just kept whispering to me, "This is terrible. This is just terrible."
They let her go and she immediately ripped the tube out. They had to insert it two more times until she stopped. Heath was finally able to pick her up while they let gravity drain in the six remaining ounces. I absolutely hate the feeling of having her ask us for help and comfort and not being able to do anything. It has to be the worst! She locked eyes with me and gave me a look as though, "Why?" It broke my heart. I wish she understood.
After that rough patch, we walked her down to the scan. She did really well and fell asleep in the machine again. The tech taking the images said that the abscess looked pretty large. Later that afternoon, during the staff rounds, we were shown the CT scan images. This was the most we had ever been included. We liked being included with the thorough explanation. They said that they saw her appendix; it was full of gas and appeared to be functioning well. We could finally rule that out. Whew! That was nice to hear!
They also showed us the abscess. Wow - was it large! It was actually pushing her bladder over, because it was so big. It had fluid inside of it too. The doctor then explained to us that to be able to get the fluid out completely, they would have to "go in". You may remember this same phrase from our initial doctor, in the E.R. This meant that this time, they would have to cut Lucy open. We were mentally prepared - whatever got this thing taken care of.
Family started to show up. My mom and sister spent the entire day with us. It was a blessing. Time no longer crawled. My dad called from Texas and said he was coming up for the surgery too. My heart was balancing between fear and happiness.
That night, Lucy was normal. The swelling had gone down a little with the IV antibiotics. She could walk again, because they were giving her Tylenol for the pain. She was dancing around the room and singing. It was a good time...in a hospital!
The day of the surgery, we were nervous again. I was never left alone this time though. I wasn't able to make myself crazy. So many family members showed up; I couldn't have been more thankful for all of them. Even my cousin Hannah drove for four hours to be with us. Our family came together for us - from literally all ends of the state and country. Isn't that awesome?
We walked Lucy down to surgery again. I was doing pretty good until the elevator. A woman got on that I recognized. She was really tall and her lips were pale. I immediately remembered her from a volleyball camp I attended in high school. Oh no - a real person! Let me explain...
I like to pretend that the surgeons, anesthesiologists, and nurses helping are all super humans. They aren't normal. They don't have lives outside of the hospital. Basically, they are incapable of making human errors. This changes things a bit. She was real. I know she is. I was more nervous now.
We had a tearful good-bye, while Lucy yelled for us as they took her away. It's awful. I made sure to tell the anesthesiologist and a nurse that Lucy didn't deal with morphine well. If they could give her something else for pain, we would appreciate it. I had also told another random doctor this same information the night before.
The surgery, though, went well. We all sat in the lobby talking and even laughing. I ate a container of fries like I was being timed (the nerves!). The surgery and recovery were a little over an hour. However, there really is something very calming about not knowing the specifics of what is happening to her, knowing she is sleeping well, and knowing that this is all being taken care of.
Dr. A finally came from surgery. He said that the abscess was "nasty" and he was glad that they went in when they did. He kept reiterating how bad and nasty it was. They ended up also taking out 3 or 4 lymph nodes that were infected. They were the root of the problem I guess. He was speculating that the lymph nodes grabbed onto the infection, trying to "help out" the immune system with fighting it. However, they ended up getting the infection inside and held onto it until they festered long enough to swell like crazy. He wouldn't be able to tell us for sure until they got the abscess cultures back.
Dr. A also said that they put a drain in again; however, this time it was just a tube, without a bag. It would leak out onto a gauze.
We got to pick her up then. It is always a wonderful feeling being able to scoop her up in my arms. This time she wasn't as swollen; but, she seemed to have a bit of a black eye. :(
The recovery was similar. She was sleepy for a long time and then she had a morphine fit. It was the same as last time, but lasted longer. My dad, Heath's sister and her boyfriend were the only ones around to witness it this time. I think they realized that we weren't exaggerating. Heath and I were better at witnessing it by now. However, it really bothered Lucy's Aunt Heather. Thank goodness once that one was over, Lucy didn't have any more. Now we knew that the morphine was to blame. Noted!
Dr. A came by to check on Lucy at about 10:30 pm. I knew I liked him. He actually took the time to stop by. :) Also, he called to check on her again close to midnight. I loved how much he cared.
Lucy was finally able to eat again and snacked on Aunt Nikki's pizza. We laughed, since Nikki was supposed to be taking the pizza home to Uncle Brian. That was, seriously, the only thing Lucy would eat.
We all settled in to sleep around 1 am. My dad and sister decided to stay with us. I know that it wasn't a good night's sleep for them; however, I loved having them there. I seriously loved it. I want to have family sleepovers all the time now! :) Plus, they kept me sane. We had a crazy, humming, taking to herself, nurse. She was an old woman and she had braided her pigtails into buns on top of her head. She moved like one hundred miles per hour and acted like she was on fire. I wanted to strangle her. She was not good with Lucy at all. It is very true that the nurse makes your experience. We had a different one every day and night.
The next day, my family left. We waited for Dr. A to stop by again. Lucy would go home today - already! That was alright with us. Dr. A talked again about how "nasty" it was and said that once he made the incision it was like a volcano of puss. Gross. That sure does put it into perspective though. Heath and I wondered if a lymph node didn't burst and that is what caused the swelling to go from little to a lot in such a short amount of time.
They showed us her incision, the drain, and how to change the dressing. We then packed up to leave, via radio-flyer.
We would visit the doctor again the following week. In the meantime, we had to keep an eye on that drain tube.
- To Be Continued -
Cori, the worst thing about being a parent is when they are looking at you to make something stop or to fix something or to stop something from hurting and you can't. I've done this a few times with both boys - Tristan has had blood work done a few times, Isaac has had an IV and his ears flushed (the latter was just today). I'm sitting here just crying about how awful that feeling is. Sometimes with Tristan it's frustrating that he thinks I can fix everything (train tracks, ripped books, - he even thinks I can make things appear when he wants them) but the sad truth is that I can't. And you can't for Lucy. The best thing they can see from us is bravery...and sometimes emotion. :) You are such a great mom. I am just so sorry this has been going on to Miss Lucy.
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