I Just Can't...

I just can't give up my "old blog."

Some could say that I am sentimental. In fact, I am very sentimental. I have a real interest in history, and particularly my own family history. I guess that is what inspired me to start a blog in the first place. With that being said, I am a bit of a...hoarder, for lack of a better word. I keep stuff. I consider them to be keepsakes. Some day, someone may just find the same emotional value in them, as I. Until then, I will keep them as safe as I can.

My blog is no exception.

I had planned on just storing my old blog, and creating a new one on the more trendy blogging site, WordPress. But, it took me all of one week to realize that I wanted my previous blog to continue. I didn't want to just swipe it clean, like it didn't happen or exist. It did.

I have spent the last week editing my previous blog (I Love Lucy Jean) for public viewing. It took me so long because I sifted through over 300 posts, and got completely caught up in memories. Some posts make me shudder, while some still make me smile. Several things were clear to me: I was a new mother, clearly struggling with working full-time and having babies in Day Care. I was very much trying to "figure out motherhood" (ha - still trying!). And, while I have perhaps become a little more articulate, I still have a problem with purging all of my emotions.

So, here we are - on the "old blog." If you are new here, you will see that my design is very inconsistent. Its a bit old and a bit new. I am in the process of updating it. I plan to get my geeky husband involved; he is gonna be thrilled! My header, while cute, isn't relevant any more, which makes me sad. I hope to update it in the coming days/weeks/months. Who really knows?

I will keep the previous title as well, "I Love Lucy Jean." After I had Olive, I had planned to rename it, "Olive Lucy Jean." Get it? Ah-mazing. I was still considering, "Olive Lucy and Henry." But, the lack of punctuation, which seems to be needed, and the kids being listed out of birth order itches that tiny little bit of particularity in my brain.

On another note, I have had several people ask me about subscribing to my blogs. It seriously warms my heart that so many people actually care what I have to say. You guys, I sure love having you in my life. My followers have always been so supportive and encouraging, when I truly needed it most (motherhood, loss, etc.). Therefore, I plan to get my emailing service set-up again, to automatically email my blog posts, as I did before. Please be patient and I will get the info. out soon. I will also continue to post links to my blog on my Facebook page; although, Facebook and I have a very complicated relationship...

It was good to have you visit once again. Please take a look around. It's crazy to read posts from my 23-27 year old self; it seems like forever ago. Just consider the date when reading and I hope you have a good day!

*Also, if you are one of my Facebook friends and stumble across some type of personal information (our last name, my college name, or my hometown info., etc.), please let me know. I am trying to remove that type of specificity from the blog. Thanks!

Bloggin' Again

Once upon a time, I had a blog. In fact, I had a blog with over 350 stories that abruptly ended in February of 2014. This was after I spewed some random "advice" about mothering two children, while working full-time and going to graduate school. The idea kind of makes me chuckle now. Not only has our family, our home, and my employment changed, but I am truly a different person as well. So, here we are in the changes, with many more to come, I'm sure. I'm 32 years into this life, and you are welcome to tag along while I narrate the days, months, and (God-willing) the years to come.

 Ironically, my last post was about the inability to "do it all," and it was the last thing I wrote and published. Obviously, my blog was one of the things I gave up. Isn't that the way it goes? When you are mommin', something for yourself is always the first to go. I really did love it. I miss it - which, leads me back here.

I think about writing a lot. Our changes have resulted in me being in my own head for several hours a day. I have little interaction with adults, unless I seek it out or you count social media "likes" as interactions. That means that I have random thoughts just bouncing around my mind all day, every day - some are worth saying aloud, and many are not. Nevertheless, I miss "talking." I miss journaling, and archiving. I miss the deep thought, and the laughs. I miss writing a blog.

Please understand that a new blog does not mean that I suddenly have a whole bunch of time on my hands. It doesn't, and I'm not sure how much of a commitment I can make to it yet. As I type this, I am avoiding three "to-do" list items, sitting directly in front of me. But, I believe in balance more than ever these days. This, this blog, it is for me. And, someday, maybe it will be for my kids. Either way, as wife, a mom, and a decent person living in today's society, I am still struggling, still contemplating, and still almost bang my head against the wall daily.

I have decided to post this blog publicly, unlike my previous blog that was marked as private for the last year or so. With this change, I will not likely post my children's photos or personal information/locations, etc. anymore. But, I hope you will still come by for visits, once I start writing more often.

 Hello again, everyone. I hope to write you again soon.

Responsibility Advice

I recently had a mother of one contact me about going to grad-school and parenting. She wanted to know "how I do it." I laughed. Who the hell am I to be giving any advice? For all she knows I go home, starve the girls, and lock them in their rooms...but, I was humbled. I didn't really know what to say. I let the email sit in my inbox for a couple of days before replying. When I did reply, this is what I said...

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It is great to hear from you. And, when it comes to being a multi-tasking mom, I seriously hear you! I had such a hard time transitioning to my "new life" and that was back when I wasn't going to school. So, having a second baby and then applying to Grad School was basically terrifying. I completely understand your concern! I do have some advice, but I want to make sure I am completely clear - I still fail. I try. I try to be the best at everything that I can. But, some days the house is a complete wreck. Some days I order a pizza and don't cook supper. Some days I am so stressed to the max that I get short with Lucy and Olive, cry in the corner, and then beg for forgiveness. It is tough. I just don't think that we can be "the best" at it all. I've tried several times and I have failed every single time. Just when I think I am getting into the swing of things, I realize that my relationship with Heath is suffering, or my friendships. Or, that I can't find time to just sleep, or think, or be by myself for two seconds!

I digress...

So, here is my advice and feel free to ignore me.

1) Forget your life pre-baby
I think my greatest milestone as a new mom was finally letting go of my "old life." I had a hard time. I kept thinking that everything was going to be the same, just with a baby. It literally took me about 2.5 years to figure this out. Things will have to be adjusted and concessions will be made.

2) Lean on your hubby
Heath is fantastic. But, I like to take a little bit of credit for getting him there. :) I am always an open book with him. I tell him when I am reaching my limit. He has really helped me pick up the slack and has come to know what really bothers me. I can't stand dishes in the sink; but, dust can wait until I have time...That kind of stuff. He has learned that there will be concessions when it comes to housework. So, a few rooms in our house (our bedroom and the toy room) will never be clean. We have finally come to terms with this.

3) Schedule "you" time
When I was a new mom I felt like if I wasn't spending every second of my free-time with Lucy, then I was a bad mother. I was so upset that I was already missing out on so much during the day, with her at daycare. But, I soon realized that I was having major burnout. I would try to do too much and then get short with Lucy. I was with her, but the shared time wasn't good. So, I schedule homework days, or homework nights, or even days away. Don't ever feel guilty for doing this - ever. It's not the quantity of time, it is the quality of time.

4) Schedule "us" time
Seriously, along with the previous one, take time to spend with your hubby. It is amazing how silly "the dishes" or "taking out the trash" can seem when you both are in good graces. But, if you are both stressed, you will end up bickering about something silly, something not even worth fighting about. So, once a week, if possible, take a night to go out, or order a movie, or something with just the two of you. It will make the household chores seem like less of a priority, which really, aren't they?

5) Remember this: When you die, no one will remember you for how clean your house was
You will be remembered as a wife, a mom, and so on. I learned this from my Uncle Matt and it is so true! Pick your battles and try to remember what really matters.

6) Indulge

Get that coffee from Starbucks. Buy those earrings. Every once in a while, we all need something to keep our sanity. Mine is the sweet, sweet flavors of a large diet-coke with vanilla from Sonic. :) It fuels me to get homework done. Seriously.

7) June Cleaver doesn't exist!

I kept thinking I should be able to do it all. But, to be honest, I don't think it is possible. I seriously don't. Something has GOT to give. Mine is the housework and sleep. Yes - I still get overwhelmed with it and hate when people come over and things aren't perfect. But, I have just learned what really gets under my skin and what doesn't, and prioritize accordingly. During the week, no housework gets done. I cook supper, do dishes, and try to pick-up the girls' rooms. The weekend is for housework and maybe not all of it. These Pinterest and Blogging moms are struggling too, they just aren't as honest (or they don't work full-time, or go to school). Sleep? Well, I love it so much. I catch up on the weekends or take naps with the girls. :)

9) Also, remember this: You are not alone. 

And, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Before we know it, our kids will be big and we won't know what to do with ourselves.

10) Having two is not much more work than one, as long as your husband helps out. Keep that in mind for future babies. :) The biggest obstacle is going back to those toddler days, where you can't take them anywhere for long periods of time (grocery shopping sucks, etc.).

I hope I helped in some way. Those are the things getting me by. But, my classes started up again this week and I'm already stressing. That's okay; I will just pick up my Sonic drink on the way home and wait until the girls go to sleep until I start homework.



Heath is also fantastic. He really is. I could never do any of this without him. He is a great husband and father. He supports me emotionally and he supports my education. He picks up so much of my slack. I am forever grateful for him. I hope that everyone has that type of support!

You will do great. If not, you will figure it out. I promise. I am always here to listen.

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Any advice that any other parents would give to a new mother, trying to take on other responsibilities? Besides calling them crazy... :)