DayCare Bullying

Again, last week I was reminded why I never wanted to be an elementary school teacher.

Heath had gone out to lunch with his co-workers; so, I went down to see Lucy by myself. I admit, it’s a bit awkward without Heath. He engages in small talk and plays with the other children. I will flash a smile or goofy face at some of them occasionally; but, I am just not very good with little kids – especially a lot of them.

Each of the daycare helpers had a baby in hand and all the little toddlers were running about. It was Friday; therefore, there weren’t that many children. They were able to all play together, instead of the usual baby-toddler separation. Lucy was in an ‘exersaucer’ just bouncing her little heart out. It was adorable (to say the least). Frankly, I was just pleased that she wasn’t on the floor, getting trampled by the “walkers.”

First, I picked her up out of the saucer and gave her squeezes and told her how much I loved and missed her. Then, I sat down with her in front of the mirror. She loves to look at herself and I get a thrill out of watching her giggle and smile – so, that’s where we landed. We laughed and played in our own little spot when another little girl came over. I am not sure how old the girl is; but, I would guess 2 or 2 ½. Honestly, she may be a little older; let’s just say, she is old enough to know better. She talks in full sentences, clear as day. She is coordinated and plays with dolls like she’s playing house. So, after further review, she is probably 3 or 3 ½. Anyway, you get the picture…

This particular girl, we’ll call her Mary, has always been on my radar. She has been spotted picking on the babies in the past – by me that is. The daycare personnel are constantly hollering her name, “Mary, no. Maa-rry, no. Don’t do that!”

This summer, when there were fewer children, I used to watch her. She’d push the swings too fast, with babies in them. She’d throw blankets on their faces or take away their toys. I even alert one of the daycare providers to break up a ‘situation’ one day, where Mary was hitting another, younger toddler repeatedly on the head with a toy. It was sad to even watch. The other toddler was defenseless.

Other times, it seemed like Mary was trying to play house with the babies, but was just too rough. Regardless, I didn’t want her around Lucy.

Mary was a bully! Take that back, Mary is a bully.

So, on this particular day, sitting with Lucy, minding our own business, I was not amused with Mary.

She came over and kept throwing all the toys off the shelf – even the ones Lucy was playing with. I kept giving her this look, like, “go away, we are playing here.” After reflection, it’s obvious she is too young to pick-up on my snide looks. Oh well, it made me feel better. I stayed calm. I wanted to tell her to knock it off and that Lucy was playing with those toys first. However, that’s not my job and Mary’s not my child. It went unnoticed by everyone else - oddly enough too; she was making a lot of noise.

I abandoned the mirror and shelf toys. I took Lucy back over to the exersaucer. While Lucy bounced I showed her the different toys, surrounding it. Then, there she was – Mary. She started playing with the toys that Lucy was playing with – the ones connected to the saucer that Lucy was in!

Is it horrible of me to not like a little kid?

It’s the parents. She wants attention. It doesn’t happen when I’m gone. Lucy didn’t care. There was no harm done. These are all things I keep repeating to myself. But, seriously, Mary looks at me and my first thought is – troublemaker! I am surrounded by complete and utter annoyance.

Dramatic overreaction – got it!

It just makes me realize that Lucy is going to get picked on and I won’t be there to protect her. Mary is the first of probably several. I hate it. I want to protect her, especially now, since she can’t even comprehend the whole ‘sharing’ idea or stick up for herself and tell Mary to get lost.

Have you ever experienced this? How should I react when I am witnessing this behavior? I feel like a jerk telling daycare, “Mary keeps taking Lucy’s toys away.” What am I? Four?

Help! I have a daycare bully!

Update

Holy hiatus! I have been working my tail off lately. Those of you who know what I do for a living, know that this time of year is crazy. I get home from work and can barely muster up enough energy to make supper. Ugh. Well, that is all I care to discuss about that subject. Let’s talk about something fun!
I just have so many thoughts; I don’t know where to start. I guess I will go with my Irish twin spotting. Yep! I spotted some. Haha. I know I make it sound like I saw a leprechaun or something. Seriously though, it took me by surprise and Heath as well. And here, I had just learned the term. I spotted them while I was getting a pedicure/manicure.

Side note: I usually just get manicures, because I am a compulsive nail biter. It’s a gross, horrible habit. However, on this occasion, I was able to get another pedicure before summer ends. Why you say? Heath and I made a deal. Usually, whoever notices or is holding Lucy when she stinks-up her diaper, has to change it. One night Heath, while holding Lucy, decides that she stunk just too bad and strongly suggested that I change her. A bit of bickering led to me asking, “What do I get, if I do?”
“A pedicure,” Heath said with flaring nostrils.

“Deal.” I really don’t mind changing her that bad. I was bickering over principle. So, I got my pedicure!

Anyway, back to the story. Here I was in the nail salon enjoying some good leg, ankle, and sole rubbing when a woman walks in the door. She couldn’t have been much over 30 years old. She had a young girl with her, perhaps 4 years old. She was also carrying a backward facing, car seat. This indicates to me that the baby girl inside couldn’t have been much over 1 year old. Also, the woman was pretty pregnant. I would have guessed about 6 months.

I’m quickly doing the math. Let’s say that baby is 12 months old, that means she conceived when that baby was about 6 months old - wow. Exactly what I was discussing…crazy!

I watched as she and her older daughter got a pedicure. The woman was unexpectedly happy (to me anyway), while being that pregnant and trying to keep track of two young children in a nail salon. I of course eavesdropped on her conversation with an older woman sitting next to her.

“When are you due?” the elderly woman asked.

“In two weeks,” she said with a smile.

Two weeks? My first thought was, “Oh jeez, I was her size when I was 6 months pregnant. She would have made me look like a blimp!” Second thought, she must have conceived that baby very quickly. Yet, here she was, so calm, collected.

I couldn’t help but think that I, in that situation, would have said something like, “Yeah, I know, we just keep churnin’ them out.” Or, perhaps, “My husband and I just can’t keep our hands off each other…haha.” Something to explain this mishap! But, once again, only a mishap in my life – perhaps this woman planned it. (Some head shaking going on right now, on my part. It’s crazy!)

Anyway, that was my spotting. She was having a little boy, by the way. I was happy for her. She had two girls already. She was surprisingly forthcoming about the name too – Beckett. It’s pretty cute. The old woman wasn’t too impressed; I could tell. It got really awkward for a second. I felt awkward and I wasn’t even part of the conversation! I hate when that happens.

Otherwise, besides getting pampered, my little family has been looking very much forward to cooler weather. We can’t wait to open up the house!

Irish Twins?

I was recently introduced to a new term, ‘irish twins.’ Apparently it refers to siblings that have 12 months or less between their birthdays. I read an article about a woman doing this intentionally. If you can’t conceive twins, make your own!

Hmmmm…..I’ll let you ponder that for a moment.

You would have a one, to possibly three, month old baby and get pregnant again. Okay…still pondering……have you pondered enough to come to the same conclusion as I have?

She’s crazy!

The woman mentioned having a brother who was just 11 months older than her and how close she was to him. Alright, I get that. It would have been pretty nice to have my sister be only one year older than me. We probably would have been even closer and shared more, without twin competition. On the other side, we were able to have our own friends, our own lives, and ultimately became our own people. But, that’s enough of the children’s point of view. I am thinking like a parent!

I cannot even fathom the idea of getting pregnant right now, nonetheless being three, four, or even five months pregnant! It kind of scares me just thinking about it. In fact, I’m paranoid about it. I am always thinking I’m pregnant now-a-days anyway; this article just makes it worse.

“My boob is sore. Oh god, I’m pregnant!”

(Side note: yes, I say boob and not breast. I am just telling it like I really think it.)

“That candle is really strong. Wait, Heath, is that candle strong to you?”

Even when I feel a random rumbles of gas sometimes, I think – “What if I were like one of those ladies on ‘I didn’t know I was Pregnant’ and I have been pregnant for months now?” Even thinking it, a look of shock comes to my face. I quickly come down from that insanity though, because I am regular in the monthly visitor department. I know, too much information.

I just find it very intriguing that I have daydream-mares (it’s a mix of day dreaming and nightmares), about the same thing that this woman wanted to do. I literally ask Heath all the time, “What would you do if I got pregnant right now?”

His response is always the same, “There is nothing we could do; but, it would be crazy.”

I think he purposely strays the subject, to not scare himself. I envision that he is having a future PowerPoint playing in his head at that very moment. Pictures flash: a sleep-deprived Cori holding a crying newborn and a sleep-deprived Heath holding Lucy, Lucy using her new bottom teeth to chew on her siblings arm, and the pit of a house we would live in, because cleaning/picking-up would never get done.

Dramatic again, I know – but that’s what daydream-mares are!

In the end, I came up with a very politically correct response to the article: “It’s just not for us.” Then I feel the need to add, “on purpose,” to the end of that. Because, let’s be honest, it could happen to anyone on accident – even me.

I find some comfort in knowing that some women do it on purpose and enjoy it though. Well then heck, I can totally do it. I’m supermom remember? Okay, not so much; but, thank goodness I have Heath and family on my side.

“Irish twins” – hmm....pondering again…..and all I can do is shake my head back and forth. No, thank you.